Waning Love
by livelovelaugh91
Summary: Bella's a devoted wife whose struggling with her cheating husband. However, a new friend will offer her some extreme advice that will both break her heart and mend it if she takes it. which direction will Bella turn at this crossroad? Rated M for language and later sex. Human.
1. Chapter 1

**They are human in this piece and they might be a little out of character**

Bella

The candle wax was starting to drip on the table cloth. That was the only thing I could focus on at the moment. Insane, I probably was. I'd slaved to create a feast for my husband and he'd chosen to spend time with his whore tonight. I always know the nights he spends with her because he lies about being in the office. I can only tell he's lying because I call and his secretary's voice trembles as she's fabricating a story for him. Even though I wish she'd just tell me the truth I can't blame her for not wanting to get in the middle of out mess.

The food was cold…well, room temperature. Edward likes a cold house so room temperature for this place is cooler than usual. I cooked all day.

I went upstairs not bothering to put the food up. I didn't have the energy or the desire to do so. It's a good thing Nessie was visiting Edward's sister, Alice, because I wouldn't have had the strength to take care of her tonight.

I stepped out of the little black dress I'd gotten in an attempt to seem sexy. It was money wasted and if I had more energy I'd turned it to scraps.

The mirror wasn't my friend tonight, not that it has been for the past few months. My eyes looked sunken in because of the dark circles surrounding them. Part of it was from the stream of mascara and eye liner that'd made its way down my face and the other part was from my lack of sleep. My long, brown hair was wild from where I'd been running my fingers through it all night.

I washed my face as if I was trying to scrub my skin off. The makeup turned portions of the towel black and some portions red. I was suddenly barefaced in front of the mirror and I looked more haggard than before. It was probably because I'd forgotten how to smile when facing myself.

After stripping down completely I ran myself a bath and stepped into the claw foot tub. It swallowed me up like a swimming pool. The hot water stung my skin but it was soothing in a way because I actually felt something.

I buried myself under the water and instantly thoughts of the first time I saw them together ran through my mind.

_ It was the day before our anniversary. We were supposed to be going out of town the next day and I was wondering why he hadn't started packing. I went to his office to see him but his assistant told me he was out. I would have been satisfied with that answer if I hadn't walked by the break room and overheard some gossipy hens talking about Edward and a woman named Tanya and how they usually meet in the park._

_ I jumped in my car. I didn't know which park, there are more than I can count in this city but I tried the closest one to the office. His car was in the parking lot and he was lying out with her having a picnic, I could see that from my window. I parked far away from him so that he wouldn't get suspicious and I got close enough to see, yet far away enough to still be incognito. To add a touch of mystery I put on a hat, sunglasses. _

_ They were playing and kissing, rolling around in the grass. He was getting grass stains on his shirts that I'd late remove with my own elbow grease and a scrubbing brush. It looked like they might have sex right there in public but she didn't want to venture that far into whoredom so they went to his car. I watched from afar as the car moved. Her hands smacked the window and her face pressed against the windshield with a passionate look smeared on it. _

_ Everything inside me wanted the bust the windows, yanked her out and smack her then kill him in a quick, painful way but instead I became paralyzed. I sat there staring at the spot they had been. The wind picked up and clouds filled the sky. Rain even started to pour and still I couldn't move. They'd been long gone by that point._

_ Knowing that my Edward, the man I'd loved since college, could cheat like this made me sick to my stomach and I wanted to murder him but I knew I'd never do that. I'd never do anything because I loved him and because he's my only source of support. I didn't work and I didn't have any family. I did have a child though and she did need stability so I rationalized with myself and decided not to say anything. I could only hope it'd blow over but I doubted it. Women like that just don't love men and leave them, they take them._

Sitting in the tub I thought about the things that are so different between me and Tanya. She's platinum blonde naturally, you can tell, and I'm brunette. She's curvy and I'm awkwardly slender. She had a career and interests… I'm just a house wife and a mother. It's easy to see why he'd fall for her and leave me in the dust. I just wish I'd never met Edward Cullen.

I stepped out of the water and the chill of the house wrapped around me making goose bumps pop up all over my body. I put on a nightshirt. I didn't even bother to dry off. After that I brushed my teeth and put my hair in a bun on top of my head. I climbed in the bed and turned off the lights. The house was completely quiet and the room was dark. I kept my eyes open though because I wanted to stare into the darkness. It was relaxing.

The clock read four o clock by the time I heard the door to my bedroom open. I hadn't fallen asleep. The sandman seemed to have lost my address these past few months.

I heard Edward's poor attempts at quiet movements. I heard him undoing every button and unzipping his pants. His shoes hit the ground with a thud as always and he weighted down his side of the bed when he climbed into it. He smelled like her.

I lay there stiff as a board. I didn't want him to know I was still awake, not that he's ever noticed before.

A million thoughts ran through my mind but there was always one question that repeated itself in my brain. It begged to be asked. It begged to leave my glued together lips.

"Why don't you love me anymore?" I blurted out before I could muzzle my mouth.

"What?" he asked, obviously confused.

I've now opened the can of worms I'd never wanted to have to open.

Feedback and reviews are always welcome! Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi guys I just wanted to say thanks for the awesome feedback so far!

**Bella**

Edward clicked on his light and it hurt my eyes. His face was twisted with confusion.

"Why would you say something like that?" he said as he rose up and turned over to face me.

"It's true. I know abo…"

"You don't know about anything. Look, I'm sorry if I'm not here but I'm trying to make a life for us Isabella."

"Please stop cutting me off when I'm talking to you. I know about her."

"Look, I'm sorry I cut you off. You're tired. Go to sleep."

"Edward…"

"Goodnight Bella."

He clicked the light off and lay back down like nothing happened. I sat up in the darkness staring at his body's outline. How could he sleep so peacefully knowing what he knows now? Unless he just really doesn't care about me at all.

I finally went to sleep sometime around dawn and I woke up around noon. Edward had been long gone, I assumed, but there was a bouquet of roses on his pillow. I had no use for them so I left them there.

The house was still empty and it was eerie. I was used the hearing cartoons or my squealing child at this time of day but she was still with her aunt Alice.

The phone was blinking to let me know I had a message. To my surprise and partial gratitude, it was Alice letting me know she'd be keeping Nessie today and through the weekend. The alone time will be great. I mean, I love my child but sometimes I like to forget I have one.

My feast from last night has disappeared. I guess Edward had decided to clean up the kitchen for me to smooth things over. It didn't really help but I was glad I didn't have to deal with it.

Coffee was my breakfast and lunch for now. I wasn't really in the mood to eat though my stomach rumbled a little. I was too lazy to eat, I guess.

Since I had the entire weekend to myself I decided to go out and be among people like a normal person. I'd treat myself to a mani- pedi. So, I threw on a pair of jeans with a tank top and baseball cap…after I finished my afternoon coffee.

The nail salon I stopped at wasn't too crowded, luckily. I was just happy that it said "hand and foot massages available" in the window! I went in and a woman stood there. She was overweight so the zebra print leggings she had on made her look like she should be hunted. Her halter was sequined and her gum popped so loudly that I thought gun shots were going off. Still, she smelled like peppermint and that comforted me.

"Hi, I would like a manicure and pedicure with a massage please."

"Let me see your hands doll…" She held my hands and looked at them, giving me an exaggerated gasp and them three clicks of the tongue. "A pretty young girl like you shouldn't let her hands and nails get like this! I'll show you to Rosalie."

She led me to the third cubicle on the left side. There sat a woman with hair like corn silk, eyes like sapphires and a smile like diamonds. She reminded me of Tanya and I had a good mind to leave but I decided to stay because…well…she wasn't Tanya and I needed the pampering.

"Hi, I'm Rosalie." She said, sounding happy.

"I'm Bella…"

"Well it's good that we're not strangers anymore."

She took my hands and placed them in a solution. While my fingers soaked I listened to her talk about her life. It sounded great. She had a dog, no husband or boyfriend and no children. Ten minutes had actually passed before either of us knew it and she pulled my hands out of the solution, patting them with the towel.

"Just stop me if I'm talking too much. I tend to do that sometimes."

"It's fine. You seem to lead a happy life."

"I do. Now why don't you? Usually when people say things like that it means they are dreadfully unhappy."

"I don't really wanna talk about it."

"You married?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"Eight years."

"Still happy?"

"I wish."

"Another woman huh? Used to hate when those long legged things waltzed into the picture. Hated it even more when my husband just forked me to the side to run after them like a slobbering dog." Rosalie rolled her eyes and shook her head while she filed my nails.

"I thought you weren't married?" I was confused, her life sounded so happy and she said she wasn't married. Was she divorced?

"Well I'm not because he's dead now."

At that moment I didn't know whether to give her my condolences or ask her how she can be so happy go lucky if her husband is dead.

"How long?"

"Oh about…a year now."

"And you're this happy? Who is your shrink?"

"No shrink. So tell me about this husband and this whore."

"Well…she works with him and she's blonde and beautiful and interesting. I've known for a year and I let him know last night. It's been awkward between us but I just probably made it worse. How'd your husband die?"

"He was allergic to peanuts and somehow some peanut powder got mixed into the protein shake powder he'd gotten from the "Bulkin up Bargain Mart. Anyways…he smothered to death on the kitchen floor because we couldn't find his epi- pen."

"I'm sorry for you loss. That's a really freak accident."

"Tell me about it! Sometimes I miss Emmett but its better this way. Me loving him through memory. Sometimes it really is just better that way."

After saying that Rosalie looked at me without a smirk on her face. Her eyes pulled me in and I knew in my heart that she'd killed her husband. This woman was evidentially crazy and I suddenly became a little worried about the fact that she was dealing with my limbs while using chemicals. What kind of person murders their husband for cheating? _A person who doesn't want to settle for only half._

To my surprise the fact that she'd actually killed her husband didn't upset me too much. I was more interested in the fact that she actually got away with it. What am I saying? I can't kill Edward! He's my husband and I love him and…no… I won't even entertain the thought!

"So do you tell everyone about your… um…husband's demise?"

"No. Not everybody."

Though the idea of killing my husband is ludicrous I must admit that I can totally understand Rosalie's logic. The rest of the manicure and pedicure went well. I actually talked to her like I haven't been able to talk to anyone else in months. Alice is a good friend of mine but I don't feel right discussing her cheating brother with her and Jessica, well, she's too busy with her soccer team sized family to be much of a listener to me. I've been isolated and I did it to myself. That ends today though because I've made a new friend… who's gotten away with murder.

**Edward**

I lay with Tanya in bed. I like being here but at the same time I hate being here. It's always too hot, way too hot and her sheets smell like she drowned them in perfume. Still, I can't stay away from her. Kissing her, touching her and losing myself inside her seem to be my favorite past times these days. She's addictive. But I do consider the fact that I have a wife at home. One who's onto me.

I feel guilty about this even though I have no intention on stopping. Yes, Bella knows but she'll stay because she has no other choice. She has no family and we have Nessie. She'll just have to realize that I love both her and Tanya. They'll both have to learn to share me. Fuck that's selfish but really... I can't help it, well, I can but I won't.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Tanya and she twirled her fingers around in my chest hair making a tickling sensation that stretched all the way down.

"My wife knows about us. I wonder how long she's known?"

"When are you going to leave her?"

"I'm not."

"Then what am I?"

"My true love."

"So then why can't I get some true commitment? People talk about me at work and nobody likes me because of this."

"Look… I have a daughter rand I don't want her growing up in two households like I did so I'll stay with my wife until Nessie's out of the nest."  
"Yeah well with our luck she'll have another baby and you'll be stuck with her forever. What do you even see in her?"

"I love her Tanya! She's kind and trusting. She's naïve, yes, but that's why I liked her in the first place. You know I fucking hate it when you badmouth my wife. Isn't this bad enough?"

"Baby, Edward…wait. I'm sorry. Please don't go. I won't let her name leave my lips again."

"Good…because the only name I was leaving your mouth for the next hour is mine."

"Edward." She climbed on top of me and kissed me, giving me a view of her breasts. "Edward" She kissed my chin. "Edward" She kissed my neck. "Edward" She kissed my chest. "Edward." She kissed my torso. "Edward" She kissed me just above my erection before coming back up and meeting my lips again.

"You are such a tease."

I flipped her over and entered her briskly. Her warm wetness engulfed me like my own personal ocean in the tropics. There was no need for protection, she was son the pill and I was sure of it. She moaned out, clutching the sheets with one hand and digging her nails into my back with the other. I relished myself in the heaven that was the inside of her. It reminded me somewhat of sex with Bella except she's less wild.

Tanya's walls clenched around my erection, closing in on it.

"Edward! Please don't…Mmmm!  
She came and hearing her yell my name is orgasmic bliss got me off so I followed suit. I exploded into her and she locked her legs around my hips. We lay here for several minutes regaining our breath and getting the sensation back into our bodies.

"Edward."

I love the sound of my name leaving her lips. I wonder if Bella is okay?

_Don't forget to drop some feedback! I love hearing your opinions, predictions, tips and etc. Thanks for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to thank everyone for reading, reviewing and giving passionate responses to this story. Now without further adieu here is the next chapter of: Waning Love **

**Edward**

I stepped into the house and it was dead silent, that's not so unusual. I went upstairs to the bedroom and Bella wasn't there but the roses I bought her were still on my pillow. Now that is unusual. Usually she'd be in bed. I decided to call to get her where abouts and make sure she's okay.

"Hello?"

"Bella wh…"

"This is Bella, I'm sorry I couldn't get to the phone but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks!"

I got sent to voicemail! She's never let me go to voice mail before. She might be sleeping somewhere or maybe her battery is dying and sheh doesn't want to use it. I bet that's what's going on here.

My stomach grumbled so I went to the kitchen. She usually cooks so hopefully there will be something in the fridge. To my surprise there wasn't anything in the fridge. She hadn't cooked. It actually looked like she hadn't been home all day. There was still coffee in the pot and a half drunken cup of coffee on the counter. If her car wasn't gone and the house wasn't still so spic and span I'd say she'd been kidnapped.

My first impulse was to go back to Tanya's. Bella would never know I'd been here but there was another part of me that actually wanted to make sure she was safe and found out where in the hell she could be at 2 in the morning on a Friday night!

I showered and put on sleeping pants and I waited up for her. I sat in the living room trying to watch television. I couldn't get engaged in it. I also tried to call her a few more times. I only went to voicemail. Around three thirty I heard keys jingling in the door. I opened it and Bella stood there wearing a short, black, sequined dress with heels so high she was nearly my height. Her hair was in a bun atop her head and she had on lots of makeup. I barely recognized her. There was a blonde woman behind her. At first glance she reminded me of Tanya but once I looked at her well I realized it was only because they were both really really blonde.

"Bella where in the hell have you been?"

"Edward relax. I was just out with my friend Rosalie."

"Nice to meet you. I've heard _so_ much about you." said the blonde friend.  
"Well I'm glad everybody is acquainted now. Come on Rose… let's go have some coffee."

"Yeah, there's nothing like joe to sober a gal right up."

She and this new friend of hers walked right past me like I didn't even matter, like I wasn't even there. Now I know this is happening because she's pissed at me over Tanya. There's no other explanation.

I didn't want to hover and seem pathetic so I just went upstairs. I couldn't go to sleep. Especially not once I heard the faint thud of music and laughing from downstairs. It went on for a good two hours before I finally heard the door open and shut again and the tiny patting noise of Bella climbing the stairs was all that remained. It was nearly dawn.

"Oh! I didn't know you were still up." she said as she grabbed night clothes and headed for the bathroom.

"Bella before you go and shower we need to talk."

"Can this wait? I'm covered in sweat and liquor and I'd like to get clean."

"Fine."

Her shower took thirty minutes. By the times she came out the sun was starting to peep in through the blinds.

"Now…what's up?"

"Where were you and who was that woman?"  
"That was my friend Rosalie. I told you! Oh and we went clubbing."

"You don't like clubs."

"Only because you didn't like them. I love to dance."

"Honey is this abo…"

"You and your whore? Partially but mostly it's about me Edward."

"What about Nessie?"

"She's not here Edward! She's with Alice! Geez I went clubbing it's not like I went and fucked somebody else!"

"I'm sorry you know about that."

"Yeah well I'm sorry you know that I know and you don't care enough to stop."

With that she turned her back to me and began putting lotion on her legs and feet. She's changed over to course of one day and I don't know how. Of course, I know why but I don't understand what's suddenly making her so vocal and angry. If I had to guess I'd say it was that new friend of hers but I don't want to go pointing any fingers.

**Bella**

For the first time in a while I felt young again! Getting dolled up and dancing the night away was a blast. Dancing under the strobe lights with the gentle mist of a chemical that made everything glow gave me the illusion that I was dreaming. However, the burn of the liquor as it went down my throat woke me right up. Tonight I was young and I had fun. I was still shocked that I'd actually done something so unpredictable. It felt wrong but it also felt oh so right!

Rosalie was fun and interesting and it's weird because I just met her today. She saw how down I was and she asked me if I wanted to go clubbing with her. Of course, I thought about the fact that she was undoubtedly crazy and that she was a complete and total stranger. Then I thought about the fact that I'm home every day and Edward isn't. A battle raged in my head. I had decided going with her wasn't a good idea because well… I was worried about who'd cook Edward's dinner and I was scared of what he'd think but then I thought about that day in the park and I decided that I didn't care about what he thought and that if he wanted to eat then he could just eat Tanya's ass, like I'm sure he's been doing for the past year and a half or more! I went out in a dress so short I could feel the wind on my crotch every time it blew. I partied in heels so high I was certain I could reach up and grab a star or the moon if I'd wanted to. That feeling of freedom and being without burden was more intoxicating than the liquor I'd ingested.

Needless to say after me and Edward's little fight it was a tense night. I wanted to get up and go to another room but I didn't want to be the one to leave the comfort of our king sized comfort mattress. Even though the past few hours out have been fun I must admit that things have gotten blurrier. I'm pissed at Edward but underneath the anger there is still some sick section that loves him even though I know there is no way in hell he loves me. There are other parts of me that want to punish him and Tanya for what they are doing. Parts of me that want me to punish myself for being so vulnerable, weak and dependent upon him. Then there's the section that just wants to be happy. Why can't that section ever win these battles?

_ Bella walked up the steps of the old building that'd been designated for science. Chemistry was the worst and the building was even more horrible because it smelled and it didn't have an elevator. When she'd climbed the stairs she was trying to open the door and somebody from the other side pushed it open instead, smacking her dead in the face and knocking her flat on her ass. The people, two guys, ran to her aid. One was slender with curly blonde hair. The other had bronze, messy locks and captivating green eyes. Even though she was near fainting, Bella couldn't help but to look into them._

_ "Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Miss! Miss!" said Mr. Green eyes._

_ "I was just going for pizza." she hadn't meant to say that and she didn't know why she had._

_ "Yup, you knocked her down pretty hard there Eddie. What were you trying to bash the door off the hinges?" The slender blonde had a southern accent._

_ "Up you go," said Mr. Green eyes, "we are taking you to the hospital."_

_ He picked her up and carried her down the stairs. In time she blacked out and when she woke up it was because they were putting smelling salts to her nose at the hospital. Her nose was broken. Luckily for her she'd slept right through the resetting._

_ The only people in the room were the doctor, a blonde, young looking man with a soft voice and Mr. Green eyes._

_ "Bella, can you hear me? I'm Dr. Cullen."_

_ "Yes… I can hear you."_

_ "Good. How many fingers am I holding up?"He held up three._

_ "Three."_

_ "Very good. Now just follow the light with my eyes."_

_ She got a clean bill of health. He prescribed her some pain medication, told her to come see him in a few weeks and told her to avoid looking in the mirror. After that she noticed Mr. Green eyes hugging the doctor._

_ "Thanks dad." he muttered._

_ "No problem son…just don't go injuring any more girls please."_

_ "Yes sir."_

_ She got off of the hospital bed and started getting her things. She was grateful that the two guys had gathered them from the stairwell._

_ "I'm sorry about your nose and you face."_

_ "It was an accident. Unless you just enjoy hitting girls in the face with ancient metal doors."_

_ "It's a pastime of mine. Look, my guilty conscience won't be appeased unless I at least make sure you eat and get home safely… um, where is home for you?"_

_ "I live on campus. James hall girls' dormitory."_

_ "Well Bella, how about I take you out to dinner and drop you off at your dorm?"_

_ "That'd be nice. Hey, what's your name?"_

_ "It's uh Edward… Edward Cullen."_

**Thanks for reading! Please leave a review!**


	4. Chapter 4

_So I know this is a little late but I've decided to give a little back- story about this story. It's been in my head for some months now and was inspired by Kimbra's music video for "Settle Down." I think I meant to put this little tidbit in the beginning and I forgot until I was listening to this song earlier so…here it is now! Anyways, enjoy!_

**Bella**

The fun I had Friday night was overshadowed tremendously by the arguments Edward and I had the rest of the weekend. Hateful words spewed from his mouth like venom from a viper's fang. I threw back some evil phrases myself. Things I never thought I'd be able to say to a man I was supposed to be with forever.

_ "I'm what's holding you back? Who stayed up with you until the crack of fucking dawn proofreading and editing your reports, brainstorming with you for ideas that would impress your boss! I helped you get that job!"_

_ "Yeah it would be so easy to give yourself all the damn credit Bella! Never mind that you were only helping me to make yourself feel important because you're nothing!" He ran his hands through his hair and sighed aloud. "I didn't mean that."_

_ "Yes you did."_

Monday morning, for once, was not dreaded. He went off to work. Normal people wouldn't be sleeping in the same bed while their marriage was in such a state of turmoil but like I said, neither of us wants to leave the comfort sleep mattress.

I got out of bed as soon as I heard the door close. I went and showered and got dressed. I was going to go get Nessie from Alice's.

The ride over wasn't long, only ten minutes. That's why she made the best babysitter. Her car was in the driveway so I knew she was home. I knocked on her front door and her husband Jasper answered. Nessie was on his back covering his eyes.

"Who's there?" asked Jasper

"It's Mommy!" yelled Nessie!

"Hi monkey, are you climbing Jasper again?"

"But he's tall like a Sequoya tree. It's an adventure."

"Get down from there and uncover his eyes please before you two end up in casts."

I grabbed Nessie and she hugged me. It's always surprising how much she looks like Edward. That's the only good thing we have together right now.

"Where is Alice, Jasper?"

"She's in the back doing her art."

I put Nessie down and I went to the back where Alice was splashing paint left and right at a canvas. She's an artist, the kind people pay thousands for. Abstract art is her true love but her best skill is at portraits.

"Easy there, you could put an eye out."

"Bella! I didn't know you were coming. Didn't Edward tell you I was going to bring Nessie tonight?"

"No he didn't… We aren't talking right now."

"What?"

Like an idiot, I started crying. Alice put down her paint brushes and hugged me. I didn't want to ever let her know about this. Mostly because I always feared that if it came down to me or him, she'd choose blood over friendship.

"You need to tell me what's going on, right now Missy!"

"Edward's cheating."

"That asshole! Who, how long and how'd you catch him?"

"With Tanya at his job, more than a year and I caught him months ago when they were in the park picnicking. I just let him know that I know Friday morning and then some things happened. Ever since then we'd been at each other's throats."

"Honey, why didn't you tell me? Keeping this kind of thing inside had to kill you. That's probably why you've been getting so tiny and pale. Are you eating?"

"No… I can't eat or sleep. I feel like shit for loving him and I feel like shit because I want to hate him. I'm mad at him though and I want him to suffer."

"Look… you'll be my sister no matter what. If my brother is treating you badly then leave him. It's just really fucked up though."

"Thanks Alice. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I just…"

"You thought I'd take his side because he's my brother? Bitch, please! If he's wrong, he's wrong. So, what happened to make the arguments ignite?"

I told her about Rosalie and my night out on the town.

"Well now I'm really pissed because I love that club! This new friend sounds crazy; I'll have to meet her sometime."

After talking to Alice a bit more and eating some of the leftover pasta she'd made the night before, Nessie and I took our leave.

**Edward**

Work was a relief. I don't think I've ever been so eager to leave home. I wanted to escape to Tanya's so many times but with Bella's erratic behavior, I was scared she'd do something crazy! Needless to say, I was catching hell from Tanya about my absence. Who knew a text message could have so much fucking attitude?

Doing my job felt like the only thing I could do right today. After a successful meeting I landed a huge account. At least I'm winning in one section of my life. Work.

The more time that passes the more confused I get. I don't want to get a divorce but if Bella is going to be this crazy then I won't stay and I won't let Nessie stay either. I'll give it a few weeks and if things don't start changing then I'm going to have to slowly pull out of this relationship. It will hurt but it will be what's best.

_ Edward sent Jasper with Alice so that he'd get a chance to be alone with Bella. It was their first official date and it was a double date. They were at the lake and it was romantic with the bonfire and the moon sparkling on the water. He noticed her rubbing her arms as she watched the tiny waves of the lake ripple when the wind blew._

_ "Cold?"_

_ "It's a little chilly."_

_ "We should sit around the bonfire."_

_ "Okay."_

_ It was quiet and awkward for a few seconds. Now that he was alone with her, the words had lost him._

_ "I'm still sorry about your nose." _

_ "It's fixed now and my black eyes are gone. We're good."_

_ "What do you like to do in your spare time?"_

_ "I read a lot."_

_ "Like what?" _

_ "Classic stuff."_

_ "Boooorrriinnnng."_

_ "Well, I wouldn't expect a ruffian like you to read classic literature."_

_ "Ruffian? You're calling me a ruffian?"_

_ "Indeed I am Edward Cullen. You are a ruffian."_

_ He got up and she did too. He started chasing her along the shore of the lake. When he caught her he swung her around a few times and then put her down. The time was right for the kill. He moved in, placing a kiss upon her lips. She didn't push him away so that was a good _

_thing. A really, really good thing._

I decided to take a lunch alone to think. It seems like I've been doing an awful fucking lot of that lately. Thinking about business is one thing, I'm good at that but thinking about personal things is a totally different clusterfuck. I guess I should just be honest with myself and admit that I don't really love Bella anymore. Now that Tanya's being shitty… I don't really love her either but she at least still puts out. I'm an arse.

My phone rang while I was at the restaurant waiting for my steak.

"You are an ass Edward! A stupid ass!"

"Jaspser… I'll get your money to you by the weekend."

"Alice is pissed at you! She knows you cheated on Bella with Tanya and now she's mad at me because she thinks I knew the whole fucking time!"

"You did."

"Beside the point Edward! If I get put on the couch tonight I am going to come into that big house of yours, I'm going to throw you down your winding staircase and sleep in your comfort sleep bed because I cannot afford to have pretzel back!"

"Alice won't put you on the couch. Don't worry. Bella squealed huh?"

"Don't say it like that. This is kind of fucked up… you cheating and all. She needs somebody to talk to."

"Yeah well… she's been doing a lot of that lately. I wish she'd just shut her mouth and open her legs. Wait… no I don't. It wouldn't feel right."

"Look, I'm your friend until the end."

"You're about to curse me out again huh? Like you did when you found out I was having the affair?"

"Yes, Bella is mad now but she should be. You're having an affair, in public and everybody knows it. Right now you should be acting like a fucking dog licking her toes and asking for dinner scraps. She's your wife and you two have a kid together! Tanya is… look, you got her easy enough so have you ever wondered who else might have sent a train through that tunnel?"

"Tanya is not a whore! She's respectable! She's decent and she has something going for herself. I'm sick of hearing how great Bella is. None of you know! All she does is cook, clean, babysit and take fucking showers and baths! I'm sick of hearing that she is a good wife. She is not!"

"Well not anymore… maybe but I remember when you were over the moon for her. I don't know what happened."

"That's right, you don't. None of you do so let me tell you…life and time happened Jasper. Now, I have to go. My steak is here."

He hung up the phone.

Just like Jasper to try and lecture me on my life. He and Alice practically live in a shack… a one story shack but he wants to tell me how to live my life? Fuck him. I don't mean that…still though he shouldn't be meddling and Bella shouldn't be spouting off at the mouth about our business to my sister. I got so angry that when the steak came my appetite had vanished so I let the busboy have it. As I was hailing a cab my phone vibrated.

**Tanya: I'm sorry, baby. Let's make up at my place tonight, please?**

_**Thanks for reading! Please leave some feedback! I love reading reviews from you all! **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella**

"Mommy!" yelled Nessie from the living room.

I put down everything in my hands and ran to her. She was bleeding from the mouth and it didn't take long for me to put two and two together to figure out what'd happened.

"Nessie you busted your lip on the staircase?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"I was running up them with my socks on and it was slippery!"

"Oh, poor baby."

I took her to the bathroom and I patched her up. No teeth were falling from her head and the bleeding stopped after a few minutes. It seems like the scariness of falling was worse than the pain.

A few drops of orajel and a Popsicle made Nessie practically back to normal. She decided to watch cartoons in the living room though. Soon music was filling the air, annoying, repetitive music. Still, it was familiar and I'm finding less and less things with that trait.

I decided to text Edward about the floor.

**Edward, the staircase is too slippery. Put in some carpet.**

** Edward: No.**

"Fuck!" I covered my mouth, forgetting that Nessie was right in the living room and then I laughed. The kind of laugh you can't hide. Before I knew it I had company. She was standing there with chubby droopy cheeks and popsicle juice around her mouth.

"Mommy, what's so funny?"

"Nothing just um, a joke I was thinking of."

"Oh, what's the joke?"

"It's a grown up joke."

"Oh… Mommy, when does school start back?"

"In about a month."

"Oh. Well… I'm going to watch TV."

"Okay."

She left and another little sniggle escaped, though I forced it back in before she could hear a peep. Its good there is something to laugh about today. I'm going to see a lawyer. I want a divorce and Edward wants one too. I want to keep the house and I'm just willing to bet he will want to sell it. Most of all I want Nessie. Not during the week, not during the weekends but all the time. That might sound selfish, yes, but right now I don't care. I want to be able to filter when he has her and conditions for which he has her. I don't want Tanya around my child.

I cut up some carrots and apples for Nessie for a snack but it was useless because Alice waltzed in with a party box of tacos.

"Alice, now she'll never eat these fruits and veggies I'm leaving for her!"

"Hey, tacos have veggies…you've got lettuce and the tortilla is made out of corn an…"

"That doesn't count but I don't have time to chat. I've gotta go."

"Oh shoot…go! Remember, you'll still be my sister. Now, see if you can take half."

"So let me get this straight, you're going to use his money to divorce him and take half of everything he's got?"

"That's my plan …"

"Bella… I've told you to just call me Aro. Why did you really come to me? You know that plan won't work."

"I came to you because you're the best. I came to you because you've never gotten your clients less than half of all assets. I'm desperate! That's why I'm here."

"Well… desperation is a powerful thing. It can sometimes wield surprising outcomes. Look, I'll give you some advice. Take it."

"Okay."

"Get some income. Stay in the house as long as he's there and document everything. If you can, hire a private investigator and since you say you want custody, mind your child. Be familiar with every scar and its back story and every birthmark."

"Okay."

"Do you use drugs? Illegal or otherwise?"

"No, just Aspirin."

"Good. Don't start now. You drink?"

"Sometimes."

"Not right now you don't. Not a drop. Don't even try a piece of rum cake. With your good record and all the things you say he does then we should be able to do some real damage."

"This is going to take a lifetime to pay off isn't it?"

"Nope. Not once you take half. "

"Okay. So…what's the first step again?"

"Income. Get some and then call me."

I haven't worked since I married Edward. I must admit part of me did miss it. I decided not to hesitate. I was going to look for a job. Probably as a proofreader…something like that. I am so fucked! I decided to call home.

"Hello?"

"Alice… I have to get a job."

"Well that's great because I have just the thing. You know my friend Angela right?"

"The really nice girl?"

"That's the one! Well the wedding planning business she started is looking for a secretary!"

"I don't know anything about being a secretary."

"You don't think you do but you organize finances, you organize messages, you organize messes and you make a mean pot of coffee. Look, it's small but honey, you've been out of the game for a while."

"It's not that. I'm just scared. I'm intimidated already."

"Look, I'll call Angela and see if I can get something going here. Meanwhile work on your resume. Don't even think about coming home because you'll be too distracted. Nessie and I are going to my place."

"You are awesome."

A resume. I have to work on a resume. I decided to go get a manicure to get my creative juices flowing. Lucky for me Rosalie was in and she wasn't too busy. The woman up front today was wearing leggings with ice cream cones on them and a dress, disguised as a shirt. She was busy enough for everybody.

"Bella! How've you been?"

"Life is hectic. I saw a lawyer today."

"To get the final reading of the will… those days are tough."

"No Rosalie… my husband isn't dead. I'm divorcing him."

"Taking the hard way out huh?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah…you never did strike me as the type to commit homicide. So does your little girl know?"

"No. Not yet. I want to wait until things are more final."

"I gotcha. So what are you doing today?"

"Well…this lawyer says I need some income so I'm about to go make a resume but I'm lost. I haven't worked in so long that I don't know what to put."

"Look put what you can and then bullshit the interview. If you ever need somebody to buy you a round… I'm your girl."

"Not to sound distant but what are you so nice to me?"

"Because… I see a lot of what used to be me in you but like I said, you're taking the hard way out and I respect that. Now let me do your nails so you can get a job to get moolah to take his moolah!"

After getting my nails done I went to the library and used one of their computers. It's a good thing I'm a packrat because I kept all of my old employers' names and numbers along with a few of my professors who I've slightly kept in touch with over the years. When I filled out my experience section it wasn't really that scarce because I've worked plenty of places but the awkward gap in employment made the piece of paper look ugly. For skills I listed that I'm organized. That is true.

After reading over the damned thing a million times and getting a random person to read over it, I saved it to my usb and everywhere else on cyberspace I could think to save it. I even sent it to Alice. She confirmed that she got it by sending me an email.

_** Bella, I got your resume and I want to let you know that I'm editing it. Btw, Angela says she isn't making any promises but she'll give you an interview for Monday. I'll babysit Nessie. I'll give you time, location and directions as well as your resume printed out. **_

As if the email wasn't enough, when I was leaving the library she called me.

"Hello Alice."

"You know…the more I think about it the more bothered I get! How could he do this to you after he saw… he saw what this did to our father when Irina cheated on him!"

"He's never really talked about that with me."

"When our mother died Carlisle married again. She seemed nice but she started cheating and being intolerable towards him. When he found out he got depressed. During their divorce he was so broken that he nearly lost his license. He had to take a sabbatical. Bella we lost our father for two years practically but I guess that meant nothing to Edward. Nothing at all."

"Alice he's a grown up so he can make his own decisions. I never knew that about Carlisle and I'm sorry that happened to him. Please don't be too bothered. You won't be much help to me if you're in the nut house along with me."

"I'll be able to keep you company."

"Then who'd bail Nessie and Jasper out of jail?"

"You've got a point. See you tomorrow. Brunch at my place and I promise none of these damned cartoons!"

I went home to an empty house. It was comforting to hear. Dead silence… I put my keys on the hook and I went to the kitchen to fix some food. Scrambled eggs were my meal of choice.

Just when I was mixing the eggs in a bowl I heard the door open. The sound of heavy dress shoes tapping the floor murdered my lovely dead silence. The shoes were coming this way.

"Edward."

"Bella …. Look, I'm not here right now to fight with you I just came to be civil."

"I wasn't going to say anything uncivil. While I'm at it I might even be nice. Do you want some eggs?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

I didn't poison him and I didn't put a pound of salt in his eggs either but I did notice something. He was standing beside me and I wasn't nervous. I didn't feel anything. Maybe I don't love him anymore and I was just telling myself that I did. Who knows about these things? I just know that I can't live the way we are living now.

We ate the eggs and the dead silence crept back into the room, filling the house. Though it was weighted with awkwardness and tension this time, the soundlessness was still just as beautiful.

_**Hi Guys! I hope you all are enjoying the story so far! I just wanted to let you guys know how I pick my A and B characters. It's not by relationship it's simply by point of view. So since I'm sometimes in Bella's head and sometimes in Edwards, I made them my A and B characters. That doesn't have anything to do with the outcome of the story or the outcome of their status as a couple. Also, I want to let you all know that I appreciate the feedback and responses I am receiving! Most of them have me laughing for days and I promise, I will try to make the ending both unpredictable and entertaining when it comes!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella**

I sat in my car trying to get my nerves in tune. I popped myself with a rubber band like Jasper suggested and I read Rose's text wishing me good luck. The thing that helped most of all though was Alice sending me a video of her and Nessie painting "good luck" on a canvas for me. It gave me the confidence boost I needed to get my sorry ass out of the car and walk into Angela's company.

There was nobody at the front desk. I'm assuming that's why they need a secretary. I rang the bell and suddenly Angela, Alice's friend, came running from the back. She was always very nice and I can't remember much else about her. Though, if I had to choose, niceness would be something to be remembered for.

"Bella! You look great! Alice has told me so much about you. Let's chat!"

"Great!"

We went into her office. The yellow room was decorated with sunflowers.

"So, Bella. I have to meet a bride for a cake tasting in an hour and a half and I need this to be quick. So let's get started. Why do you want to work here?"

"I haven't worked in quite a while, as you can see, and I feel like your company would be a good fit."

"Okay, so why now?"

"There have suddenly been some issues in my personal life to arise that have made me have to leave my profession as a home maker behind and get back out into the workforce."

"I see. How are you with filing, note keeping, receipts, fact checking and things like that?"

"I run a household. I'm pretty darn good. Not to sound braggy but I can do those things."

"Bella…here's the last question. When can you start?"

"When can I start?"  
"Tomorrow. Be here at 10 for training."

"Oh thank you Angela! You won't regret it!"

"Don't thank me yet! Wait until your thirty day probation is up and then thank me!"

"Thank you anyway!"

I felt happy to have landed the job. Now I just had to see if it was going to work out and go see Aro again.

**Edward**

I opened the door to the house slowly, trying not to make u too much noise. It was only eleven but there's still no need in making senseless racket. When the door opened Nessie was standing there in her pajamas looking at me with Bella's eyes.

"Daddy where have you been?"

"Working."

"This late? I don't believe you!"

"Okay… I've been kidnapped my monsters."

"Monsters aren't real. Are you like that man on the movie auntie Alice was watching the other day?"

"I don't know. What was he like?"

"He had two families with different kids and dogs and everything. But he went to jail… auntie Alice said that's illegal. I just wanted to tell you that if you do have to families I'd like a brother."

"A brother?"

"To beat."

"To beat? What'd he do to you?"

"Well I need somebody to be cross with…just like you're always cross with mommy."

"… Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Nope."

"I think you should."

"Aw come on man…don't ruin my fun."

"So now I'm man and not daddy?"

"Okay, come on daddy man, don't ruin my fun! Please!"

"Alright…as you were."

That little conversation with Nessie was disturbing. I've never hit Bella before so I don't know why Nessie's become so violent. I guess muffled arguing can affect a child though. Well, I know it can because I was once a child affected by muffled arguing.

_ "Irina, please. We can talk about this or see a counselor. I love you and our fam…" _

_ "Carlisle this between you and me is over! There is no us or our! That's your family and your fucking children! I don't want any part of this anymore. Laurent makes me feel like a real woman!"_

_ "What haven't I given you Irina! I do everything I can for you! Don't expect anything from me you fucking bitch!"_

_ "Wasn't planning on it Dr. Cullen. Now if you'll excuse me, my ride is here."_

_ Edward heard high heels click past his door and when he was certain the coast was clear he climbed out of bed. Once he was out the door he bumped into his sister Alice._

_ "Edward, go back to bed!"_

_ "No, you! I'm going to investigate!"_

_ "Look, I'm the smartest so I'm going."_

_ "Well I'm the oldest."_

_ "We'll both go."_

_ They crept down the hall where they heard sobbing. It was their father that much they knew. Edward had never seen him cry like that. Of course, when their mother Esme died he did cry but this seemed to come from a very deep, dark place. Kind of like it'd been building up._

_ "Daddy?" whispered Alice as she walked towards him._

_ "Alice! Edward um…go back to bed."_

_ "Dad what's the matter? Is it Irina?"_

_ "Irina isn't a part of this family anymore."_

_ Carlisle divorced Irina but that didn't help. Edward watched as his father collapsed into himself slowly. It's as if the strong front he'd been putting up ever since their mother's death was tumbling down brick by brick and Irina had been the one holding the sledgehammer that jumpstarted demolition. Carlisle stopped eating, talking and living. For a while they lost their father. Who knew one human being could destroy another one so entirely?_

I went upstairs to kick off my shoes and clear out my pockets. Bella was up there laying clothes out. They looked dressy and I didn't really care about her engagements but I was curious about where she could possibly be going in duds that professional.

"What are those for?"

"My new job."

"Your new job?"

"Yup."

"Where?"

"That's not important; just know that I'm working now."

That was surprising news. I didn't know how to feel about it. Something tells me she isn't getting her own income just to help out around the house. She's planning something… I decided to try flattery to tease it out of her.

"You know Bella… the thought of you all dressed up like that is kind of sexy… when was the last time we had sex?"

"I don't know."

"Well…do you want to now?'

"Nope. Call up your harlot. I'm sure her legs are always open…just like the drive thru at Mc Donald's. Does she love to see you smile Edward?"

"Bella would it kill you to open your legs every once in a while?"

"It might, there's no telling what she's given you."

"Are you saying that I'm diseased?"

"I'm saying…probably. Look, I don't want to argue tonight especially not with the baby here."

"Why do you call her a baby Bella? She's a child!"

"She's my baby! Yes, I know she's a child but she really is just a baby and she shouldn't hear us arguing."

"Then she shouldn't be listening."

"What a stupid thing to say. If someone is yelling of course you'll listen… I don't want her hearing us."

She had a point. I decided to drop the whole sex and job thing. Instead I showered, ate some of the leftover chicken and potatoes in the fridge and I lay in bed wondering what I was going to do. Divorce seemed inevitable and I really didn't want to do it because of the inconvenience of it all. Of course I knew I'd have to but it's so expensive. I'm not ready to pay and now that Tanya's getting squirmy, she'll expect me to devote myself to her completely and I just can't.

After Bella had ironed her outfit she showered and left the room to go to the guest bedroom she's been sleeping in. I'll never tell her this but the comfort sleep mattress isn't as comfortable without her on it. Still, I'd rather have it to myself than have her lying here all sulled up. Who could honestly sleep peacefully thinking the woman beside them would slit their throat as soon as they closed their eyes? Not me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella**

Work is stressful, but it's a good stress. Angela's planning company is one of the best in the city so there is no shortage of customers, phone calls, appointments of invoices. Though it's a lot of work it's rewarding and it takes my mind off of the mess at home. Edward has been spending more time there and though this will sound terrible, I wish we went back to the days when he laid out at Tanya's until nearly dawn. And as if his presence isn't enough… he's always talking to me! He's always talking about me and him and sex and it's disgusting and embarrassing. He says wants to fix our marriage but he just doesn't know that I don't. There isn't enough marital duct tape in the universe to repair us. The only reason I'd ever consider going to counseling with him is so that when we are divorced we can be civil to each other for Nessie's sake.

There was so much to do at work that when I'd finally finished it all, it was time to lock up. So I did and I left the files, letter and anything else that Angela would need on her desk, along with a card on her desk. She and Ben were expecting their first baby. I remember when I was pregnant with Nessie. Things seemed so much better then. Probably because they were. Though some part of me wonders if things were really better or if I was just blind to the badness of it all.

I picked Nessie up from school. She was ready to go, like always and she had a million stories to tell, like always!

"…and so that's why I told her that if she was mean to him one more time, I'd put silly slime on the monkey bars to make her fall!"

"Nessie, that's not nice and you could get in trouble for saying that."

"Yeah but she was bullying him! He's a nice kid and she's being mean because he doesn't have a big house. That's not right is it?"

"No, it's not and I'm very proud of you for sticking up for him but you should really tell a teacher."

"Okay. I'll tell the teacher but if she doesn't do anything, I'm putting silly slime on the monkey bars."

I couldn't help but laugh. Nessie is smart, I'll give her that. My little girl. The closer I get to being able to file, the more I wonder how the divorce will impact her. She's crazy about Edward. Yes, he's done me wrong and sometimes his priorities are messed up but I don't want Nessie in the middle of this. I've decided that I would be willing to let her see him once the marriage is dissolved. Not for Edward, but for Nessie. I mean, she's always asking where he is and whenever we go for ice-cream or a cupcake she's always sure to include him.

"Mommy, what are we doing this weekend?"

"Tomorrow we'll go to the park…maybe ice cream if you're good and then for Sunday we'll have to see."

"Is Daddy coming?"

"I don't know. You'll have to ask him."

"Oh…okay. Daddy works a lot."

"Yup, he does."

"We should be billionaires by now huh?"

She's the only bit of comic relief I have during this time.

We got home and as soon as I opened the door I spied Edward, on the couch in his casual clothes with his lap top on his knees and his fingers to the keyboard.

"Daddy! You're home."

"Yeah bug, I am."

"Now stop typing! I have to tell you all about my day."

**Edward**

Nessie has some exciting days. I have to give her that much. Though I can't really be mad at her for wanting to can that little bully. She's got a good heart. I wish I could take credit for that but I really can't.

After a few minutes of hanging with me Nessie went to put down her school stuff in her room. The weekend is here so that means… I don't really know what that means.

My cell phone buzzed in my pocket and I took it out to look at it.

**Tanya: are you coming over or what? I'm starting to feel like I'm on the back burner.**

I've been trying not to see her as much. I figure a break up will be easier this way. She's lost her appeal. Probably because she expects too much now. I liked it better when she only hoped I'd spend time with her. It was a treat, not a given.

I went upstairs and I happened to walk by the guest bedroom Bella's been staying in. The Beatles were playing and the area around the door smelled like her perfume. I admit that I liked that scent. The smell of it on our sheets was comforting for a while. Until it started smelling like me. I knocked on the door.

"Nessie I said give me a mi…" She opened the door. "Edward?"

"I just wanted to…say hi and ask how your day was."

"Well hello and my day was fine. Why are you home? No hot dates with Tanya?"

"No. I was hoping I could hang with you and Renesmee."

"She told you we were going out?'

"No… but I figured as much."

"You know this won't fix or change anything. I'm just…letting you come along for her sake."

"I know."

Bella looked beautiful. She was wearing an oversized sweatshirt with jeans and sneakers. Her hair was in a messy knot atop her head and the tattoo she'd gotten in college on the back of her neck of a butterfly and her parent's initials was showing. Letting her know she looked nice wouldn't do any good though because she'd just shoot me down.

I turned round to head to my room and Nessie came barreling down the hallway.

"Daddy, what are you doing? Put on your shoes! We are going to Pizza Universe!"

She did a karate kick in the air and fell down. She got up quickly and continued running until she made it into Bella's room. Something tells me I am going to regret asking to go out. I didn't know it was Pizza Universe.

* * *

I regret ever asking to come to pizza universe. Everything is glowing, all the controllers are sticky, it smells like burnt pizza and they don't even sell beer. Nessie is having a ball though. She's got so many tickets that Bella and I have resorted to putting them around our necks like scarves. Her favorite games seem to be the ones involving shooting, martial arts of beating the daylights out of poor defense-less mechanics creatures.

She ran back over to Bella after winning another extremely long ribbon of tickets.

"Mommy! I hit the jackpot. Hold my earnings."

"Okay Nessie. Be careful baby!"

Nessie fell but she got right back up and kept running. She's clumsy like that.

This place is definitely for families. All around, all I see are these perfect looking nuclear families and then there's us. We look perfectly nuclear but we aren't. Sleeping in different beds, at each other's throats. I have to admit that it's my fault, most of this… still, I'll never admit it.

_ Edward made sure the blindfold was still over Bella's eyes tightly. He helped her up the steps of their porch. The porch was attached to their house. The house of their dreams. Six bedrooms, three car garage, four bathrooms and enough space for a pool. It was the perfect space for the little family they'd have in four months or so. A little girl…they were having a little girl._

_ "Edward where are we going?"_

_ "Hold on! No peeking. You'll love it. I promise!"_

_ He opened the door and then when she stepped in he took the blindfold off. She looked around, mouth thrown open and then she hugged him. _

_ "I love it! It's perfect! Oh Edward, it's home."_

_ "I hoped you'd like it and I know out little lamb will just love it."_

_ "Of course she will… It'll be her home."_

_ Bella smiled while rubbing her belly and Edward knew he'd done something right. He'd bought a house his wife loved. A house for them to raise kids, hopefully there would be more to come. _

_ The house was nearly fully furnished. While she'd been visiting his sister he'd had all of the things in their apartment moved here. Of course, it still lacked decoration._

_ She sat down on the couch and hummed to herself while looking around the space. She was so beautiful. He got down on his knees and kissed her stomach while she ran her fingers through his hair._

* * *

_There was so much crying going on in the house that Edward felt like he wanted to join to party and weep. Bella cried all the time and the baby cried all the time! Neither one of them had anything to cry about though. They were sheltered, clothed, fed…what was there to boo hoo about?_

_ He went to work early. His promotion as only a year old so he still had to watch his p's and q's. His secretary told him the rundown of the day. He had to interview a potential employee today. _

_ He sat down and got settled. After going over a few things he got a call from his secretary saying that his interviewee was here. He got together the questions and waited for the person to come in. To his surprise, she wasn't what he'd expected. She was platinum blonde with eyes like ocean water, legs that went on for days and cups that ran over. That alone made him pay attention to every word that left her blood colored lips._

_ "Hello Ms… H…"_

_ "Call me Tanya, please Mr. Cullen."_

_ He asked her the questions and she answered them easy enough. She seemed smart and before long they were talking cars and stocks. They talked so long that he didn't realize time slipping away. His secretary had to come in to remind him of his meeting. It was like Tanya got him like nobody had gotten him for months. Anything was better than the four months of weeping, he'd endured at home._

* * *

_Bella felt useless. She couldn't get her baby to stop crying. Day and night it cried. She was here alone with it crying. Even in her dreams, when she got to sleep, she heard the baby crying. Some days she felt like killing herself so that she wouldn't leave her child at the hospital in a bassinet._

_ There was nobody to help. No grandparents… Well, there was Carlisle but he was busy working. Alice and Jasper lived too far away to babysit and Jessica had little monsters of her own. Edward had to work, and she understood that, but she wished he'd help with the baby._

_ Bella warmed up the pumped breast milk in the bottle warmer. Nessie cried relentlessly so this moment was no different. Bella found herself sobbing. Sobbing because her ears were ringing, sobbing because she hadn't slept in months. She missed her mother. It'd been two years since Renée and Charlie died in the car accident and she wished her mother was there to give her advice and comfort her. Maybe even tell her how to put this restless, groaning child to sleep. She wished her father was there to cheer her up. Nobody could like him. Mostly she wanted to not feel so damn alone in all of this. She and Edward had promised to share the responsibilities but he wasn't. He was rarely even home. Something about needing to be the first one at work and the last one to leave. She didn't really care. She needed him and she'd told him so. His response was always the same. "Somebody's gotta pay for this house." This house…well, that's certainly all it was. A house._


	8. Chapter 8

**Bella**

"We won't be compromising Mr. Cullen. Either you agree to have Bella's name put of the deed. For that Bella has agreed to pay half the mortgage and utility bill." said Aro

"Mr. Cullen doesn't have t…" started Jacob, his lawyer.

"I was talking to Mr. Cullen, not you Mr. Black."

"What if I don't agree?" asked Edward in a faint voice. His face was pale, his eyes had dark circles around then and his cheeks were started to look hollow. Almost like me a while ago.

"Then Bella will take Nessie and move into an apartment. One you will not have the address to. You'll see Nessie the weekend."

"That's ridiculous!" yelled Jacob

"Then I guess your client better think long and hard about his decision." said Aro calmly, but with authority. Jacob had to know he stood no chance.

"So you're telling me that I either give up being the sole owner of my house or basically lose my daughter?"

"Edward you heard him! There are only two choices here so pick one." I spat, not meaning to. Aro looked at me with narrowed eyes followed by a tiny smile.

"Fine… I'll agree to Bella's name being put on the deed to the house… and to the payment agreement. I don't want Nessie to be uprooted."

"Wait a minute…" said Jacob. "Before my client agrees in writing, may I speak with him outside?"

"Sure." I said.

I couldn't hear what they were saying but I'll bet Jacob was trying to talk Edward out of it for whatever reason.

"Don't worry. You'll get what you want." said Aro with a chuckle. "I must admit though, in all my years this is my first case where the wife fights to pay rent."

"I just want Nessie to be at home. She doesn't want to move and I really don't either. As long as Edward heeds the new privacy guidelines it will be fine."

"I'm sure he will… oh and it was clever of you to throw you lawyer fees in as a demand."

"Well… it was either that or be in debt to you forever Aro… I think they are coming back."

Jacob was red in the face but he seemed more serene. Edward was oddly calm.

"My client agrees to meet your demands."

"Thank you Edward."

I can say one thing honestly…working out the terms of a divorce is tiring. Especially when you are still living in the same house. Half of me wanted to move out but that half was totally annihilated when I sprung the idea to Nessie. When I broke the news about the divorce and a possible move, she flipped out and was so depressed and nervous for over two weeks because she thought we were moving away. Staying in the house or a life of therapy and issues were the only solutions.

I shook Aro's hand, thanked him for another great day and bid him goodbye for the moment. So far most of my demands were being met. Not that I was making that many or anything. But I seemed to be getting my way which had me worried at first because usually Edward doesn't lie down so easily.

While I was walking to my car Edward grabbed me by the elbow gently.

"You know you could have stayed there for free."

"I don't want to stay there for free, Edward. We are just roommates now so I have to pay my half of the rent."

"You're sure? Really sure that this is what you want? I'm desperate here Bella."

"Edward… Thank you for helping me bring Nessie into being."

"Can't we…try something else? Talking to someone."

"Edward it won't help. I've told you before…the only reason I'll go see a counselor with you is so that we can effectively co- parent in the same household. You hurt me in ways I never knew I could be hurt… You hated me even when I just kept delivering my love to you. In fact, some part of me will always love you but you will never see her again."

I went to my car and I took off. I didn't realize I was crying though until I sobbed so hard I got choked. Emotional, yes I am. I have the right to be though because divorce is a very emotional thing.

Nessie was at Alice's place. They were nice enough to pick her up from school today, which I'm sure she enjoyed. When I pulled up in Alice's driveway I fixed my face before going to the door and knocking. She answered.

"Hey… so?"

"He agreed."

"That's great. Why have you been crying?"

"I don't know Alice… I don't know why I'm crying. I guess it's just that…, I don't know who I am anymore!" I started to sob again.

"You are Isabella Cullen, soon to be Swan…again. You are a mom and a friend. You are apparently a damn good wedding planner because I heard the Kimball wedding that you planned hastily when Angela's partner was in the hospital was done to the nines. So why didn't you freaking tell me Angela was taking you under her wing as a wedding planner?"

"It didn't seem appropriate with what's going on."

"Bella… you are a good person and this weekend you are going to find your identity. Since Nessie will be going with my dad for their big fishing trip you won't have her to worry about and Jasper and I will be out of town on romance business so…you can have our house."

"Thanks Alice. Hey, where is Nessie?"

"Oh, she's asleep."

I went into the living room where Nessie was stretched out on the floor. Alice had spread a blanket over her and tucked a pillow under her head but I doubt she even noticed it. I got down in the floor and tickled her nose. She smacked at my hand a few times before waking up. When she did she smiled at me and it melted my heart.

"Mommy!"

"Nessie!"

"I have something I meant to ask you before I went to sleep."

"What?"

"Did you pack sweets in my fishing box?"

"No, why?"

"Because…grandpa Carlisle only lets me eat healthy stuff!"

"Well he is a doctor Nessie, so I'm sure he knows what's best."

"A girl can't live that way. I need my candy!"

"Well, maybe if you ask nicely he'll let you have a treat or two."

"Maybe."

"So… I have news."

Nessie's lip started to quiver into a pout. She's been expecting bad news ever since the other week.

"Its good news baby… don't cry. Daddy and I have decided to stay in the same house and just live in different places in the house."

"So I don't have to move or choose?"

"No baby…no moving or choosing."

"Good! And you're sure you two don't love each other anymore?"

"No baby, not the way people who are married should. Now go put your shoes on."

I'm confused about who I am but I know I'll get it all worked out. I have to….I don't have time to have another nervous breakdown.

**Edward**

I don't know how my life got to where it is. I can't eat or sleep and I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble of torment. Work is the only thing I can lose myself in and Nessie is the only thing that makes me smile now. It's like someone has come and sucked the essence right off of me. I'm a ghost of a man. Oh, and to make matters worse I have pissed off Tanya and she's harassing me. That started roughly when I had to fire her for assaulting another employee. The fact that I broke up with her didn't help either though.

I was sitting at the bar nursing a beer when my phone rang. I didn't know the number so I thought it may have been someone calling about this sticky situation with me and Bella.

"Hello? Edward Cullen speaking."

"Please tell me you didn't mean it when you said we were over Edward." said Tanya.

"I meant it Tanya. It's just not working."

"I'll do anything to make it work Edward! I love you…please!"

"I can't Tanya! Please drop this!"

"If you say you don't love me, I'll kill myself."

"Don't kill yourself please!"

"I'll hurt myself."

"Tanya…don't do that."

"Goodbye Edward."

She's been calling like this for days and she always says the same thing. So far she hasn't harmed herself but who is to say she won't stop bluffing and do it. I don't want her to be hurt, especially not over me.

After that phone call beer just didn't suffice for me anymore so I asked the barkeeper for something stronger. He poured me a shot of bourbon. I downed it quickly, wanting the burn to hit my chest and belly. After that I kept slamming down my glass for him to fill me up again. If I'm lucky I'll get alcohol poisoning and not wake up…ever.


	9. Chapter 9

**Long chapter coming up!**

**Bella**

I called the florist to confirm the order for the wedding I'm working on with Angela. I never imagined something like this could be fulfilling but I actually like it, planning other people's big day. I just hope the rest of their stories pan out better than mine did.

As of today I'm no longer married. I'm divorced…a divorcee. It's final. Even though I should be doing the running man through this office I still find myself in the bathroom crying every ten minutes. It's only today that I realized I've still been wearing my ring. It's not that I still want to be married… I guess I'm just sad that it had to end this way. Of course what person wouldn't wish for different circumstances? Still, what's done is done and I feel liberated, even though I'm weeping I feel unburdened. But I'm terrified all at the same time.

"Bella, are you okay, really?" asked Angela as she held her back and stared at me sympathetically like a mother would. Do I lie or tell her. "It's just that you've been running to the bathroom a lot and you've been a little dreary all day."

"I'm fine… my divorce is finalized today so I'm a little…emotional. It's stupid really, crying over freedom."

"Hey, that's something to cry over. Look, why don't you go on early. I'll finish confirming everything."

"No Angela, please, I need to work. If I don't I'll just end up in some bar."

"Well, okay then. I'm in my office if you want to talk."

"Thanks."

After another hour or so work was over and I had nothing to distract me. There should be a sign over my head reading "scattered showers" because every ten minutes the water works start up and then stop again. One thing is for sure, I had to straighten up before I picked up Nessie from school. All of this still has her very fragile I don't want to throw her off balance.

I pulled up in front of the school, in line with the other waiting parents. Before she ran to the car I made sure my bun was correctly atop my head. I also wiped my face and put on some fresh makeup. It was just in time too because when I looked again she was bee lining to my car.

"Hi Mommy."

"Hi baby. How was school?"

"Thank goodness it's Friday. That means it's almost concert time. Hop a Lots… here I come!"

"Yeah, you're excited about that huh? I heard you making daddy go to the website last night."

"Yes! I am excited! Jasper said I can even get cool merchandise. Mommy, why isn't daddy as fun as Jasper?"

"Nessie… Jasper and Auntie Alice are just more free spirited so they are more fun."

"Oh. Well… I wanna be free spirited when I grow up."

"Baby you already are. You just don't even know how much of a loose cannon you are."

She giggled and continued telling me about her day. I hope she never stops talking to me about things like that but I know one day she probably will. Just like I stopped talking to my mom about my day. I was always scared she'd judge or lecture me about it. I just wish that I could talk to her now.

We arrived at Alice's place. Jasper was outside loading up the car for the big concert trip. Honestly, they are the best godparents ever.

I waved to him and then I walked in the house. Alice wasn't in the living room so I knew she had to be in her studio. I knocked on the door before entering. She turned around to look at me.

"So single lady…how are you feeling?"

"Not so hot. I can't stop crying. I'm not really all that depressed, just sad but I should be celebrating right?"

"Well… some women do. That's why I'm taking Nessie."

"Alice, don't you and Jasper ever get sick of taking Nessie?"

"Hell no! She's my niece and plus, when she's around Jasper doesn't start talking about pumping a baby into me. I'm just not ready for one of my own. A god daughter is quite enough."

"Thanks Alice. Really… I need the time this weekend."

"No problem."

"How's Edward?"

"My brother is…. Depressed. Of course you know that."

"Yes… I might have guessed. I told him we could see a counselor."

"Well… that might help but right now life is really rubbing his face in his own shit. He said the only thing going right is work and yadda yadda yadda… He talked to Jasper for a while about something but I don't know what. You know…guys. Anyways, dad is coming this weekend to talk to him."

"Carlisle is coming this weekend?"

"Yes. I told him about Edward and he decided it'd be best to come and pep him up."

"Thanks again for taking Nessie to this concert."

"Are you kidding… the Hop a Lots kick ass." Said Alice, with a quick eye roll, head shake and smile. "I'll take pictures."

I needed some R& R so I went to get my nails done. The lady at the front, Kim, greeted me with a simple smile and nod. She knew I was here to see Rosalie so she didn't even feel the need to greet me formally.

When I got to Rosalie's station there was a guy back there. A handsome guy.

"Bella! Hey."

"Hey Rose."

"This is my older brother Garrett. He's just moved here."

"Well…welcome to town."

"Thanks. Rosalie's told me so much about you."

"Like what?"

"Only good things Bella! Like how you two are the same age and how… you're single and how gorgeous you were. When you arrived he was just asking what we do for fun."

"Oh."

"Yeah… I'd love to give him a tour of the city myself but Mr. Toddy is in surgery as we speak and I have to tend to him tonight. So Bella, I was hoping you'd show Garrett around."

"When were you going to tell me this?"

"I was about to send the text message right before you walked through the door."

"It's true…in her defense. She was about to text you to ask. I can understand though if I'd cramp your style."

Good looks apparently run in their family. His head was shaved but there was just enough stubble for me to see that he was a dirty blonde. He had deep blue eyes like Rosalie's and his body was chiseled. That much I could see through the hoodie and jeans he was wearing. I certainly didn't have to cry right now.

"Well, I don't have anything to do tonight so I guess it'll be fine."

We made arrangements to meet at Rosalie's place later on and take a cab around town. After shaking on it he left the salon and I turned to look at Rosalie with my best evil eye.

"Before you murder me…. I just thought this would be good for you."

"Rose I have been crying all day! I'm an emotional wreck. My divorced has just finalized! I cannot go out with a guy as attractive as your brother."

"Look, my brother is a good guy. I know this because I'm his sister. What's wrong with letting a nice looking guy wine and dine you? At the very least you could get a friend out of the deal."

"Well… I guess being wined and dined does sound nice. He won't be expecting anything will he?"

"No Bella! Of course not! My brother would never ask for ass on the first date!"

"This isn't a date and thanks for informing me of that."

"So… this has been a rough day?"

"Yeah…pretty rough."

"Think he'll be home when you get there?"

"Well, my ex- father in law is coming into town so probably not. Hopefully not."

"Just know that my door is always open. I've got daiquiri mix in the freezer, liquor in the cabinet, a fridge full of food and a cabinet full of chick flicks."

"Thanks Rose…"

"Now what color are we thinking today because I was thinking Jungle Red."

"That's a real color?"

"Oh hell yes, at my station it is!"

"Well…great. Jungle red."

**Edward**

I couldn't wait to exit my office building and hop into the first cab smoking. It was official. I was a single man. It doesn't feel as good as I thought it would. I once thought I'd be celebrating the fact that my marriage was dissolved but now I can't seem to breathe. Today alone I've had four panic attacks. Every time I think about the fact that our marriage certificate is just a meaningless scrap of paper and our marriage a faded memory I lose my breath and my heart starts to beat out of control.

I had the cabby take me to the nearest bar. I decided not to drive today because I knew I'd end up at a bar drinking myself to cirrhosis. Thoughts of my wedding day have been flashing through my head all day making things worse.

_ Edward stood at the front beside Jasper who was falling asleep. He jabbed him in the side and Jasper jumped awake._

_ "I shouldn't have let your cousin talk me into doing those shots. I'm still drunk… there are two hundred people here." Said Jasper_

_ " Jasper, there are only one hundred guests."_

_ "Exactly. I'm still so drunk that I'm seeing double."_

_ This could easily turn into a catastrophe but Edward wasn't mad. In fact, he knew that one day he'd look back on this and laugh. So Jasper kept dozing off and Edward kept jabbing him in the ribs, until the ceremony started of course. _

_ Edward watched the bridesmaids came in with groomsmen. When it was time for Alice to come to the front Jasper, walking like he had peg legs, met her half way and then walked her to the front. She was the maid of honor. Edward began to get impatient. He wanted to see his bride._

_ Finally everybody stood and two flowers girls, his cousins, put fresh rose petals on the aisle runner. Bella followed them, walking slowly. Edward chuckled to himself because he just knew she was counting her steps in order to keep herself from falling. She was worried about tripping in front of everyone._

_ When she finally made it to the front he found himself in awe of her beauty. She had on a _

_veil but it was sheer so he could see her. She gave him a wide smile and he couldn't help but return one back to her._

_ The minister said his piece and then it was time for the couple to speak. They'd written their own vows._

_ "Isabella. For the first moment I saw you, bloody, broken nose and all, I've known you were special and I fell in love with you. It was so easy to do because you're so loveable. So here, in front of everyone I vow to be the best husband I can be. I'll take care of you. I'll love you and be honest with you. Even when there are rainy days in our relationship I'll be there for you, just call me your poncho. I love you and I always will."  
"Edward. From the first moment I saw you I became lost in you. Yes, even when I woke up in a hospital because you broke my nose with a door. I knew then and there that I'd never love another the way I love you. So in front of God, our family and friends I vow to try and be the best wife I can be. I'll love you and take care of you. I'll be honest with you and trust you. Only death will pry me from your side. I love you Edward Cullen."_

_ "Well… that settles it then. By the powers vested in me I declare you man and wife. You may kiss the bride!"_

_ He lifted her veil and the fullness of her beauty was released. He pressed his lips to hers, not caring if her lipstick got on him. Bella was all his now, his wife and he'd never let her go. Not for anything in the world._

The bar wasn't crowded. That was a good thing. I went to a stool and sat down. I asked the bar tender to give me strong bourbon in a big glass. He kindly obliged and I downed it, trying to get it to go to my head as quickly as possible. Being in my right mind was overrated and too painful right now so I decided to get so drunk that I didn't even know my own name.

Before I could take a sip of my second big bourbon glass, my phone rang form a number I didn't know. Without answering I knew it was Tanya.

"Edward Cullen you're a dead man and you'll rot."

She hung up before I could say anything. Her threats have gone from self harm to harming me. The other day she waited for me to leave work and she followed me to the grocery store just so she could smack me. When I got outside, there was a bag of pennies on my shattered windshield so I'm assuming she did that too. Still, I don't want the police involved.

I tucked my phone away and I tried to take another sip of my bourbon but a hand clapped my shoulder causing me to jump and spill most of it on my shirt and tie. I sucked the bitter liquid from my clothes only to look up and see my father staring at me with stern, disapproving eyes.

Suddenly I felt like a little child who'd done something wrong…because I had. I started to cry. Not only because of my father's glare but because I've pushed away my wife and singlehandedly destroyed my own life.

"Well son…you've certainly made a mess of things."

"I know and I can't fix it."

"It doesn't appear so…Stop crying. You made your bed now lie in it son."

"I know but I tried so hard to make things better for me and Bella. She just wouldn't budge!"  
"If I've tried to teach you anything about life it's that timing means everything! You started trying when it was too late. You should have tried when she was trying and then maybe things would have worked out."

"I've never felt like this before…. I don't know how to deal. I feel like I just want to die!"

"Well don't do anything stupid. You might have lost your wife but you still have a little girl to raise. A little girl who looks up to you tremendously, from what your sister tells me."

"You've been talking to Alice?"

"I've been listening to Alice. She had a lot to tell me."

"What do I do dad? What do I do I just don't deserve to live or breathe."

"Son you don't want to live or breathe because dying would be easier than just dealing with the pain and realizing you fucked up."

"So what do I do?"

"First you stop feeling sorry for yourself and own your mistakes. Then you get out of this place. Next, you find a way to eat and sleep… I can tell you haven't been doing either and if you keep it up you'll wear yourself down. Finally…you love your daughter and do all you can to raise her well."

"Okay."

After the little chat my dad convinced me to have dinner with him. I can't actually remember the last time I've eaten for real. Bella cooks, of course, because Nessie has to eat, and she offers but I don't feel right eating her food. He was taking me out for steaks and I was going to try to own my mistakes…the overwhelming number of them.

**Bella**

"This is so much fuuuuunnnn!" The wind was hitting me in the face like cement chips and the city was whirring past me making me feel queasy but it was still fun. I was hanging halfway out of a limo and I've never felt more alive.

Garrett pulled me back down into the limo and I finished my drink. I'm halfway drunk, I'll admit that. This night has been crazy so I've needed a few drinks to keep up. First, we started on a nice serene tour of the city but we decided to go clubbing. There was a fight at the club, some actors beefing, so we left before the cops could come. The cabs weren't coming quickly enough though and sirens were in the distance but luckily there was a limo rental service across the street from the club! It said twenty four hours so we walked across and rented a limo for the night. Now two clubs, a very interesting trip to Mc Donald's and a bottle of vodka later, I'm about to make out with a partial stranger in the back of a limousine like a wild teenager!

Our lips locked and it was like lightning struck me. It's been so long since I've been kissed, really kissed and touched that every time his fingers meet my body I want to moan in relief.

"Bella, are you sure about this?"

"I'm making a drunken impulse decision, so I don't know what sober Bella would want but drunken, irresponsible Bella wants this. Tonight."

"Drunken Garret wants this too. My man! One stop, please drop us off at the High Tower pent."

"Sure thing."

I straddled Garret and he wrapped his arms around my waist, locking me in place. I felt his erection through his pants and a jolt of excitement went through me, making my heart beat even faster, if humanly possible, and my core clench. I was burning up from the inside out; at least that's what it felt like. When we finally made it to his apartment I breathed a sigh of relief. We got out, thanking the cabby and we tried to make up fifteen floors without ripping each other's clothes off because there was a lady in the elevator with us. When we made it to his floor we clung together again, like magnets and felt out way to his apartment door. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he supported me with one hand while unlocking the door with the other. We were leaning again the door so when he opened it we practically fell in. To catch balance, he sat me on his breakfast island.

Clothes started to fly off, left and right. Once I was down to just my panties and high heels, and he was down to just his boxer briefs he picked me up again, taking me to the bedroom and kissing me along the way. He kissed my breasts, causing me to moan out in sweet agony and the pampering didn't stop there.

He made a trail of kisses from my lips down to my panties and then he took the lacy fabric between his teeth while pulling them down.

"So beautiful Bella…" he muttered repeatedly between the kisses he was placing on my inner thighs, belly and breasts.

By the time he made his way back up to my lips I was ready. I was aching for him. He produced a gold wrapped condom from a drawer in his nightstand. The paper crumpled as he took it from the wrapper and when he put it on. His lips met mine while our two bodies became one tangled rhythmic, panting mass. I moaned out, the sensation took my breath away.

"Ahhh yes!"

While he slowly and impactfully thrusted me I grinded me hips and clenched my core around him. The pressure was almost too much for me to take but it felt so good that I couldn't stop. We rolled over and suddenly I was on top. I held onto one of his hands for support. The other, he used to palm my breasts. I threw my head back as the chill of orgasm crept up on me. He leaned up and locked his arm around me again. I looked into his eyes and he kissed my lips once more before I tail spinned out of control and came… hard. I kept grinding against him as my walls pounded around him and he followed me into euphoria. He fell back on the bed and I fell beside him. We laughed, but I don't know why.

He held me and that felt good too. Not really in the sexual way but it just felt good to be held. He fell asleep shortly and I was about to but I had to use the bathroom. I slipped on the shirt Garrett had been wearing and I went to his bathroom, stopping along the way to grab my phone from my purse. There were two messages. One from Alice and one from Rose. Alice's message was letting me know they'd made it with a picture of Nessie in the pool. Rose's text, however, made me blush.

"**So… how's it coming along?"**

"**It's coming along great Rose. =)"**

Of course, "coming" has more than one definition in this case. After send the text I used the bathroom and washed my hands. Before I went back to the bedroom I thought about today, what it means and just the fact that I was about to go and get back into a man's bed. Being officially divorced will take some time to get used to but at least I'm not crying.

_So, I know this was a long chapter but I wanted to get all the good stuff in there!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Bella**

Talking to Rosalie about me and Garrett's night out, Mr. Toddy's recovery and my emotional state was like mission impossible. Why? Because Garret's hand was down my underwear and his lips were pressed to my neck. It took everything I had in me not to moan into the receiver.

"So you're really okay? I just feel horrible pushing my brother off on you but the sur.."

"Rosalie its fine. Garrett is nice."

"Bella is nice." Garrett whispered in my other ear while kissing my cheek and chuckling lightly.

"Well…okay. Just remember that if you feel even a little sad I'm here. Okay?"

"I'll see you tonight. Okay? We'll have some drinks and watch man bashing movies."

"I'll order pizza."

"I'll bring chips and dip. Bye Rose."

"Bye Bella."

I turned around to look at Garrett's face. He was smiling. I pushed him away from me.

"What's wrong?"

"You almost got us caught Mister. That's what's wrong."

"You know it was fun trying to talk to Rose normally while I teased you."

"It was cruel."

"Well punish me, baby."

It's Saturday morning and so far today I've spoken to Nessie and Alice. Soothed Rosalie's guilty conscience. Had breakfast with Garret and I've also had sex with Garrett. Three times… I don't know what's come over me. It's like I'm some kind of animal that's been caged up and I've suddenly been freed. To some affect that might be true but still, I can hardly contain myself. The strangest part is that I'm not worried of what will become of us once I walk out that door. If we talk afterwards then that's great… Garrett really is nice but if this is just a Friday night and Saturday day romp then I'm okay with that too just as long as he can keep his mouth shut.

He helped me ditch my undies and then we made our way to the shower, that's where we were originally headed when Rosalie called. I told him I was going to shower and he demanded I not do it alone.

Once inside he turned on the water and then he looked back at me with a smile. Grabbing my hand he led me under the warm spray. It was refreshing already. He got somebody wash and made lather with a towel. Of course, it was men's body wash but it's better than nothing. He ran the towel across my body. Slowly and thoughtfully cleansing every part of me. He ran the towel over my breasts, making sure to greeting my nipples with his thumbs after he was done. I was going insane. He either had the magic touch or I was just extra sensitive because no matter where he touched me, my back, shoulders, stomach, etc… I always felt myself clenching with arousal.

When I was all clean he handed the towel to me and I proceeded to clean him, every square inch of him. I started with his neck and shoulders. They felt firm beneath my hands, probably because he's so built. I got down to his chest and it was the same though I couldn't resist planting a kiss on his peck. His abs were like speed bumps to my fingers and the lathered towel. They slowed me down so that I could savor the moment.

By the time I made it to his erection I wasn't really interested in washing him anymore and by the look on his face he felt like he was clean enough. He reached to get a condom from the cabinet and I sat the rag down while we stood under the spray, kissing. He massaged the little bundle of nerves between my legs, appeasing me and teasing me during the short wait.

Once he jumped back into the action I found myself being picked up. The cold tiles chilled my back when it hit it, but I didn't spend too much times complaining over that once he filled me up, making me feel like he was in my stomach. This time around there was nothing slow. He pounded into me and I grinded him with everything I had. Our bodies were competing for the prize of bliss. For one of the first times in my life I wasn't just having sex or making love… I was fucking.

He groaned out in orgasm while a satisfied smile spread across his handsome face. I followed him a few minutes later when a jolt of pure pleasure moved through me. We remained under the spray, letting the warm water rain down on us for a few minutes before sliding down into the tub and lying there. We were both too lazy to move so Garrett turned off the water with his feet. I couldn't help but laugh.

Once again, he held me. Yes, it was a wet, steamy bathtub we were laying in but it was nice, nonetheless.

"Bella, I want you to know I never do things like this."

"That's good to know. I don't either…Well; I'm newly single so of course I don't"

"Was this a mistake then? Are you having regrets?"

"No. I don't have any regrets. I feel good."

"Well, that's good. I'd hate it if you never wanted to see me again."

"You want to see me again?"

"Yeah. Even before we got drunk, rented the limo and downed ten spicy chicken sandwiches a piece I had a great time. Sorry to bring this up but, it's hard to believe anybody would want to stop being with you."

"Well, different strokes for different folks I guess."

"I guess so… tell me about your daughter."

"My world, you mean. She's about to be five and she's silly, sarcastic, very smart and very persuasive…if I might say so myself. You'd have to meet her though. One day."

"One day… Does that mean I can take you out again? This time we can just talk. No wild stuff."

"I'd like that…a lot. I know this might seem weird to say considering the fact that we are in your bathtub naked but… could we move a little slower?"

"Yes. Definitely."

"Great."

Overwhelmed, yes… a little but that isn't such a bad thing. I have a date for sometime next week and I've officially lost my divorcee virginity. Now my biggest issue is keeping this from Alice and Rosalie. I feel like they'll be way too happy and inquisitive about this. Emphasis on the happy part.

**Edward**

I decided to try and right a wrong. I sent Tanya a text message apologizing and explaining why we couldn't be together. Her response was bad. She sent me a text basically letting me know that she still wanted me dead. This doesn't seem like something I'll be able to resolve easily but who else can I blame?

I stayed in bed as long as I could but my stomach didn't let me stay there comfortably. When my hunger pains got too bad I got up. My head went spinning. It was three in the afternoon… I'd spent the entire day in bed.

When I got downstairs Bella was there fixing herself an omelet. I waved slightly and she returned the greeting with a tiny smile. I walked past her and I picked up on a scent. The scent of a man's cologne or body wash.

"Where were you last night?" I asked before I could control myself.

"Out."

She's moved on…she's slept with another man. My perfect Bella have been sullied. What am I talking about; she's not even my Bella anymore. I missed out on that chance.

My father's pep talk roused me up for a few hours yesterday but every time it does reality sets in and I remember that I ruined my life. If I weren't scared to venture into the fucked up part of town I'd go there and get some drugs to take my mind off things.

"Do I know him?" I asked again, before I could control my tongue.

"No. Please, don't torture yourself Edward."

"I deserve to torture myself Bella. You remember how we used to be?"

"Edward. Please don't do this to yourself."

"Tell me it isn't too late."

"I won't lie to you. It's too late Edward. I've told you this. Don't make things hard, okay?"

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry."

"I accept your apology but I'm still not taking you back."

"Couldn't we start over?"

"There isn't a slate clean enough for us to start on Edward. Please... just accept the fact that it's over Edward."

That's what she tells me to do, what my father tells me to do, what everyone says I should do but I just can't. I'm miserable without her in my life. I just wish I didn't have emotions. What happened to the time when she didn't matter to me and when I didn't care about her? At least I didn't care as deeply as I care now. I miss those days when nothing could touch me. No pain, no heartache just pleasure. Those days seem so far away. It's hard to believe it's only been about a year since my self destruction process started.


	11. Chapter 11

**Long chapter coming up!**

**Edward**

"So Dr. Clearwater, you are telling me that I'm in such turmoil because when I was married, I thought I hated my wife but I never did… it was just my mind trying to give my body excuses and validations to cheat?"

"Edward I told you, call me Seth. Anyway, it's fairly common. After men divorce their wives the feelings of false hate dissipate because there's no longer an excuse needed to justify cheating. Then the guilt and realization of love sets in again and turns into a sort of depression."

"So what do I do?"

"I suggest we talk through this. I'll try to help you understand what's going on and you apply our lessons to your everyday life. I won't prescribe you any medication because I don't think your depression is that severe. I suggest getting back to your life if you can."

"Okay."

Well… that was a strange session. I tricked myself into thinking I hated Bella so that I wouldn't feel bad about cheating but now that façade has faded. I wish I hadn't wanted to cheat so badly then I wouldn't have thought, or acted like I hated her. I wouldn't have acted like I couldn't stand her.

I can remember defending Bella to Tanya but I remember always thinking about how bad things were between us. In reality things weren't that bad with me and Bella. They were good…until I turned them sour because of my need to have a piece of eye candy on my arm.

_ It was Edward's company's annual fundraising banquet. He didn't really want to go, at least not with the date he had, but he couldn't take Tanya. It was too risky considering the fact that press would be there._

_ Bella sat in the car silently beside him. He looked over to her and she gave him a smile. He could tell that she was excited to be going. That was possibly another reason he couldn't take Tanya. _

_ They arrived at the venue after a short ride. They got out and the valet boy took the keys to park the car. Edward offered his arm to Bella. He had to admit that she actually looked decent tonight. It was better than the jeans and t shirts she's usually in, at least._

_ As soon as they walked through the door a photographer took a picture of them and the hostess made sure they were on the list. Once it was confirmed they were shown to their table. _

_ "Its decorated nicely." said Bella._

_ "Yeah, it is."_

_ "I wonder what's on the menu?"_

_ "Chicken."_

_ "Oh…"_

_ "Bella? Don't embarrass me tonight. Okay?" he whispered _

_ "Embarrass you?"she whispered back, hurt surrounding her words._

_ "It's just that…there are…you know what, nevermind."_

_ He could tell he'd hurt her feelings. She wasn't looking at him. She never did when she was wounded. They made it to the table and sat down. She greeted their dining companions but said nothing else. He wasn't particularly happy that he'd sullied her mood but the less she talked the better._

_ Tanya walked past, greeting everyone at the table including him. He decided against introducing Tanya and Bella because he knew his wife would figure something out with the way he'd be starting down his lover like a hog looking at slop._

I went home and Bella was trimming the tree with Nessie.

"Daddy! Come trim the tree with us! Please?"

"Yeah Edward. Join in on the fun."

That's one of the reasons I can tell Bella is over me. She can stand the sight of me. She's even friendly towards me. I like the fact that I still get to be around her but it hurts sometimes, especially the day she had that dinner party and that _Garrett_ fellow came.

_ Going to the dinner party seemed like a logical thing to do. It was Edward's house too, after all and food was all up his alley. Nessie was spending the night with Jessica for a sleepover with her kids. She was sure to be tired, yet hopped up on sugar when she returned the next day. _

_ Bella was wearing a sexy, red, skintight dress with a low back. He'd never seen her in something so hot but he wasn't exactly complaining now. Even if she was getting all dressed up for her boyfriend. She'd briefed him earlier on the guests and explained to Edward that her new "thing" Garrett would be attending. He wasn't thrilled, in fact he wanted to go through her phone, find the guy's number and uninvite him. The prick!_

_ The food smelled awesome and every chair and plate was in place along with the food. Bella always was a good cook._

_ "Looks like a masterpiece."_

_ "Thanks."_

_ "Anything I can do?" _

_ "Well, Jasper and Alice have bought miniature watermelons for everybody for dessert and they said they'd be outside in a few seconds so you could help with that and just…answer the door."_

_ "Great. I'll be right on it."_

_ As if on cue, Jasper and Alice arrived. He greeted his sister and best friend. Even though he'd pushed Jasper away he knew he could still depend on him. He helped him get the melons out while his sister went right in and made her way to the kitchen. After that he greeted a slew of people. Rosalie, that "Garrett" fellow, Angela and her husband and even Aro and his wife! He suddenly felt out of place but decided not to let it show. It couldn't be that bad. After all, he still had Jasper and Alice to talk to._

_ Once everyone was settled in, the feast and toasting began. Everybody seemed happy. It was almost surreal. Seeing Bella flirting and laughing with that Garrett fellow was completely sickening. He remembered briefly when they used to be that happy but those times were in short supply. Mostly their relationship had been intensely serious and emotional._

_ The party went as planned. He found that he could stop moping for at least a few hours to enjoy food and a few laughs. At least for a short time he forgot that he was going through the stormiest period in his life._

**Bella**

I invited Edward to trim the tree with us. He never has before. Usually, it's something only Nessie and I do. I used to try and get him to chip in but he never wanted to. I'm glad he does now though because Nessie is over the moon.

She's been wild ever since I told her we were putting up the tree earlier today. I can just imagine how she will act once she sees presents under it. I've even been working on that. Buying a few toys here, a few outfits there… Everything I have is at Garrett's place. My only issue will be wrapping it. That's something I always procrastinate about. Wrapping presents. Mostly because I'm accident prone so I'm always cutting myself with wrapping paper, scissors, and tape dispensers. I'm just not ready for the bloodshed.

After getting most of the decorations up I asked Nessie to make something special to go on top of the tree. She raced upstairs to her room to make only heaven knows what kind of topper.

"So, how'd your appointment go?" I asked, curious about what Dr. Seth had to say.

"Good. I um, learned something about myself. Something I didn't know but I'm glad I do."

"Oh, well that's good. You seem in better spirits."

"Not really but…whatever."

"So, I talked to your dad today."

"You did?"

"Yeah… he's coming down next week and staying here until after the holiday."

"Not at Alice's?"

"Well, Alice doesn't have room now that she's had to expand her studio to two rooms."

"Jasper should buy her a bigger house."

"It's not a big deal. It's not like they have kids or anything."

"Yeah, I guess. Talk to that Garrett fellow today?"

"Yeah, we are taking Nessie ice skating later on. Um, you're welcome to come along if you'd like."

"No. I think I just want to do some shopping. Have you gotten her that playhouse she wanted?"

"You mean the little $2,000 cottage she asked for? No… I haven't gotten that. Don't tell me you're giving in?"

"I had a tree house when I was a kid. It's only right she get a playhouse."

"Who will put it together?"

"I will…or I'll call someone."'

"How will you hide it?"

"Bella, it's nearly winter so Nessie won't be outside. Plus I'll… put construction plastic around my building site."

"Well Edward, good luck with that."

I have to admit that it's brave of him to at least try to put together a playhouse that big. It's big enough for us to live in practically but if he thinks she just has to have it, I won't argue with him. Plus, I'm sure she would love a little outside oasis and a place to camp out.

Edward went back upstairs and like a chain reaction, my phone buzzed.

"Hello?"

"Have you been naughty or nice?"

"Well, that depends on who you ask. Hi."

"Hi. What you doing?"

"Trimming the tree. Waiting for Nessie to bring the topper."

"Send me a picture when it's done."

"A picture wouldn't do it justice. You'll have to see it yourself when you come over."

"Fine. I was just calling to see what size skates you'll need. I'm reserving us some boots."

"Oh well… a child's 11 and a women's 8."

"Gotcha. See you later. Dress warm."

"We will. Bye."

"Bye."

Things are going well with me and Garrett. Really well. To make matters better Nessie likes him too. She took a while to warm up to him and seeing me with someone other than Edward threw her for a loop at first but now she likes him and she's given me her approval to date him.

I went upstairs to check on her to see what was taking so long with the tree topper. Edward was in her room too. I could see that she'd started on the topper but now they were playing Barbies.

"No Ken, you either rob that bank or I'll kill your precious little daughter." Said Nessie. "I have hungry bears just looking for a meal."

"No! Don't kill my daughter. I'll rob the bank." said Edward, making his Ken doll feign a cry.

"Good. Take this paper gun, go to the corner of first and height and wait for my call on this paper cell phone."

"Okay… Can I talk to my daughter at least?"

"Do what you're told and then you can talk to her."

I didn't want to break them up. Nessie seemed to be having fun. I can tell that she's definitely watching way too many crime shows though.

Her sometimes violent thoughts and words worried me at first so I had her talk to a child therapist. I thought maybe the divorce had made her that angry but the therapist said she didn't seem to get the violent streak from the effects of the divorce. That only made her slightly nervous and a bit distrustful of Edward and me. I think she's getting over that now though.

**Edward**

Playing Barbies with my daughter was fun, well, as fun as it could be. She's got a very vivid imagination. In many ways she reminds me of the way Alice used to act as a child. The only difference is that Nessie doesn't have violent actions and Alice did… I have the scars to prove it.

After getting up off the floor I had a good stretch and thanked Nessie for the wonderful bank robbery and kidnapping sketch she so skillfully came up with. She gave me her mother's smile and then hugged me before running downstairs with the tree topper she'd been working on before the Barbie drama.

I went to my room to change into something more relaxed. It was Saturday and I had on a button down shirt. A cotton t-shirt and hoodie would do the trick. I felt better after I changed.

When I was going back downstairs my phone buzzed. I looked and it was a message from Tanya. Yes, I still get them. Every day, sometimes more than once a day depending on how she's feeling, I guess. Today it read "Ready to die?"

She still hasn't acted on any of these threats so I still don't feel the need to contact the police. She also hasn't vandalized my car since a few months ago and I don't think she's followed me either. Mostly, I've forgotten about her until I read those texts and I'm reminded of my selfishness. She didn't deserve what I did to her. Yes, she knew I was married but I still took advantage of her. I filled her head with promises I knew I wouldn't keep. I think my guilt is also part of the reason I don't want the police involved. If hateful texts are her therapy for getting over me and healing the heart that I broke then she can send as many as she'd like. She isn't saying anything I haven't thought when I look in the mirror every morning.

* * *

"Bye Daddy! We'll take pictures and bring you back a treat!"

"I'll hold you to that baby. Have fun."

I bid them goodbye as they were walking out the door. When I saw Garrett's car disappear from the driveway I decided I was going to leave too. No time like the present to get presents. I'm behind anyway.

I went up the stairs to get my shoes. I noticed there was something off about the hallway. The door was open to one of the guest bedrooms. They are never open, Bella hates open doors if the rooms aren't occupied. I went and closed the door. Nothing seemed weird in the room. I figured Nessie went in a room for some reason earlier. My phone buzzed. It was Tanya again. "I said, are you ready to die Edward?"

Before I could respond something sharp was stabbing into my side and I was on ground. Tanya stood over me looking disheveled and dirty. I pulled the knife out and she charged at me, knocking it out of my hands. I tried restraining her but it didn't work so I had to fight her. I've never had to fight before, at least not since childhood, but I know that a woman shouldn't hit as hard as she does.

"I loved you and you just threw me away!"

"I'm sorry!"

"You won't be sorry until you're dead!"

We fought until we made it to the top of the stairs. I elbowed her and she fell to the ground, temporarily knocked out. I started down the stairs. My side was bleeding, baldy. It was painful and I felt myself getting weak. While I was walking I slipped on the slippery wooden stairs. I should have listened to and gotten carpet on them.

My trip down the stairs was painful. I hit my head a few times, hard enough for me to bleed but not hard enough to knock me out and to make matters worse I landed on my arm. I knew it was broken by just the way it felt.

I tried getting up but things were looking blurry. I kept trying to make it to the phone, which was on a table by the stairs but it seemed a million miles away. My cell phone was nowhere to be found either. I heard Tanya's footsteps coming down the stairs and I tried again to get up. I made it to the table but collapsed on it, knocking the phone down, and away from me.

"See Edward, even fate wants me to kill you right now."

"Tanya, we can talk about this."

"No, we can't. You fucked me for two years and I loved you! Then you just ended it and fired me. I have nothing now. I live out of my car and have sex for money Edward. You did this to me and now I'm stabbing you in the heart the way you stabbed me in the back."

I managed to stop her hand before she plunged the knife into my chest. She jerked away causing me to flip over and slide across the floor. She kicked me a few times before stooping down to stab me again.

The door suddenly opened. I could see the outline of the person. Bella, it was Bella. I found myself falling into the darkness that had been inviting me for what seems like ions.

**Bella**

I'd forgotten Nessie's gloves so we'd turned around so I could get them. However, the sight that I saw when I opened the door was shocking. Tanya was standing over Edward's bloody body holding a knife and looking disheveled. She was definitely off her rockers. The only things I could think about were ways to kill her and if Edward was dead.

"Tanya…"

"Good, I get to kill you too. Two for the price of one."

She charged at me and thinking quickly I grabbed the baseball we kept in the umbrella hamper. I whacked her once in the head, as hard as I could and she fell down. Sliding a few inches when she hit the ground. Blood was pouring from her head. Blood, there was too much of it. I picked up the phone and called the police.

"911, what's your emergency."

"Yes… A woman was in my house. She stabbed my ex husband and I… I think I killed her."

They asked for my information and requested I stay on the line. I started checking on Edward. He was hardly breathing but he had a pulse. I grabbed onto his bloody hand.

"Edward please don't die on me. Nessie needs you. Please, don't do this. Just hold on… okay? Hold on!"

"Ahhhh! Mommy what's wrong with daddy?"

"Get her away from here!"

"Daddy! Daddy!"

Garrett and Nessie were standing in the doorway looking shocked. Nessie started running my way but thankfully Garrett grabbed her and carried her out of view, even though she was fighting against him. I heard her screaming and crying. I coulnd't blame her. I was screaming and crying.

"Edward please, hold on. Just hold on… please?"

**Hope you all enjoyed this lengthy chapter! Let me know your thoughts.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Bella**

"I'm the best surgeon this side of the country and you're telling me I can't scrub in to save my own son's life?"

"Dr. Cullen… I can't let you do this. I respect you as a doctor and I understand your concern but you're too emotional. We're doing all we can."

With that the nurse walked away. I've never seen Carlisle so angry and disgruntled before. Then again, Edward's never been stabbed by a maniac before either.

I haven't really been able to speak since arriving at the hospital with Edward a few hours ago. Mostly the thoughts running through my heard are compiled of Nessie's screaming, when she saw Edward lying there. The sight of all the blood on the floor and staircase and the sound of the baseball bat as it shattered Tanya's skull. I killed a woman today.

It's too surreal. Like a bad dream. The kind that leaves you shivering drenched in sweat, breathless and dizzy. I don't know where to place my eyes. I don't know how to tune out the loud noises, it's making me crazy. As if that wasn't enough, the police came down the hall. I knew they wanted my statement.

"Mrs. Cullen."

"Ms. Swan… we're divorced."

"Ms. Swan. Can you tell us what happened? From the beginning?"

"What part of the beginning?"

"Did you know Tanya at all?"

"She and Edward were having an affair."

"Do you know how it ended?"

"No… I just assume that he broke up with her when we started going through our divorce."

"Okay. Did Edward ever mention Tanya threatening him or harassing him these past couple months?"

"No. We didn't talk about her. He didn't say anything."

"Well, what happened today?"

"I was going ice skating with my daughter and my boyfriend. Edward didn't want to go; he was supposed to go Christmas shopping. I forgot my daughter's gloves and remembered once we were driving so I had my boyfriend turn around. When I opened the door I saw Edward lying there, bloody and knocked out. Tanya was holding a knife. I tried to talk her down but she was enraged. She wanted to kill me, she charged at me with the knife so I got the baseball bat we keep with the umbrellas and I hit her once, as hard as I could. Then…she died."

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen."

"Swan."

"Thank you Ms. Swan. We'll call you if we need anything else. I hope all goes well."

"Thank you officer."

I was grateful to Rosalie. She had Nessie… it couldn't have been an easy task though considering the fact that she was crying and screaming in the background. She didn't need to be here, with all this sadness. If Edward didn't pull through she'd see enough of it at the funeral and she'd have enough of it to last her for the rest of her life.  
_ Bella rushed into the hospital, water was dripping from her body. She was soaked to the bone but she didn't care. She'd come as soon as the police called her. Renée and Charlie had been in an accident. It was bad and she needed to be there. Edward was on his way too, he'd been out of town on business so they were catching separate planes._

_ "Renée and Charlie Swan please?"_

_ "Oh yes… Hold on, I'll get a doctor."_

_ She knew it wasn't good if they didn't at least give her a room number to go back to. Still. She hoped for the best. _

_ "Ms. Swan."_

_ "Mrs. Cullen."_

_ "You might want to sit down for this."_

_ "What is it?"_

_ "I'm afraid they didn't make it."_

_ "What? You're…you're lying."_

_ "Ms. Swan, it appears they both suffered from traumatic brain injuries and damage to their internal organs. The only good thing is that they probably didn't feel much. The police say that they were going through a light when a careless delivery truck driver smashed into them."_

_ She heard the doctor talking but she didn't understand a word he was saying. Her parents couldn't be dead. This wasn't… this couldn't be true. She suddenly found everything moving too fast, noises were too loud and the lights were too bright._

_ "We just need you to come and identify the bodies."_

_ Her legs gave way and she fell to the ground. Not unconscious, just unable to breathe, speak or move. She hoped to wake up from the nightmare quickly. She had to wake up from the nightmare quickly. _

"Mrs. Cullen."

"Ms. Swan."

"Edward is out of surgery. We've got the bleeding in his stomach stopped and we managed to retrieve the piece of his rib that chipped off during the stabbing, before it could puncture any organs. There is swelling in his brain so we're going to put him in a medically induced coma to try and combat it. Also, we noticed that he had a broken collar bone so we corrected it and had to place metal plates and screws to induce healing. We'll be closely monitoring him so for right now he'll in intensive care. Any questions?"

"When can we see him?" asked Carlisle.

"Two people at a time can visit and one person may stay overnight. He's being transported to room 509."

"Alice, you and Carlisle should go. I need to call Rosalie, check on Nessie."

"Okay." said Alice, as she gave me a tiny, sad smile.

Jasper awkwardly patted me on the shoulder as I made my way outside. I had forgotten everything in Garrett's car. Luckily he'd dropped it off for me here, along with a change of clothes. He offered to stay but I told him to help Rose with Nessie. I figured they'd both be needed.

"Hello? Bella, good news?" asked Rosalie.

"He's out of surgery. They fixed the stab wound and they are putting him in a coma to reduce swelling in his brain. He also had plates and screws in his collarbone because he broke it. Probably falling down the stairs. Where's my child?"

"Here she is… Nessie, its mommy."

"Hello?"  
"Hi baby."

"Daddy's dead… isn't he?"

"No. Daddy's out of surgery and they are going to make him sleep for a while so that he can get better."

"Can I see him?"

"Um... I don't think that's a good idea today baby. Maybe another day."

"Well can I come with you?"

"No baby. I'm at the hospital. This is no place for you. Just stay with Rosalie and Garrett, okay?"

"But I want to come where you are."

"I'll come get you later on tonight. Okay baby?"

"Okay."

"Bye… I love you."

"I love you too. Bye bye."

Nessie sat the phone down and someone picked it up.

"Bella, is there anything you need?" asked Garrett

"No… not right now. Thank you. Just take care of Nessie, please?"

"We will."

After talking to them I went back into the hospital. Jasper was fiddling with an empty coffee cup. I didn't know what to say to him. He probably didn't know what to say to me either.

"How's Nessie?" asked Jasper

"A wreck."

"That figures… This is a fine Christmas present Edward's given us, huh?"

"You sure said it. Who would have thought though… Tanya's crazy. Did you know he was being threatened and stalked?"

"No."

After thirty minutes Alice and Carlisle came back down. Their eyes were rimmed red, from crying. Alice latched onto Jasper and Carlisle patted me on the back.

I decided to go up by myself.

The floor was cold and very quiet. I went to Edward's room and it was like a horror show. Tubes draining, wires everywhere, IV are dripping and monitors beeping. The respirator made puffing sounds that were both comforting, because he was at least getting oxygen, but also disturbing, because he couldn't get it on his own.

I sat down in the chair beside his bed and held his hand.

"Edward… you sure know how to pick em. That's not important right now though. You have to make it for Nessie. She needs you. They say people can hear when they are in comas so I know you hear me… I hope you hear me. Just, pull through this. Okay?"

His hands were cold and dry. Probably because of the cold temperature in the hospital.

I sat in silence with him for a few minutes. I listened to the monitors and respirator and then the sound of a lullaby playing over the intercom to announce the arrival of a new baby. At least somebody is having some joy amid all the pain of the day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Bella**

The cars look like ants down there on the road. Just moving around like ants on an ant hill. It's the fourth day we've been here in this hospital. Edward has been in and out of sleep. Once they brought him out of the coma he was a little loopy so they had to knock him out after whatever tests they had to run.

Right now he's asleep… which is both good and bad. Nessie is visiting him and I don't think she needs to see his lude behavior. Even though I wish she could talk to him, I don't want to risk her hearing him cursing like a sailor or seeing him try to grope me with his one good arm. The only person not shocked to see him acting so crazy is Jasper. Probably because they are best friends and they were once this crazy together.

"Mommy, will daddy be home for Christmas? I got him something special with my own money."

"I hope he will baby but if he's not we'll just have to have Christmas here, with him. Okay?"

"Okay. Are you coming home?"

"Maybe later, when Grandpa Carlisle gets some rest and takes over. Right now though Uncle Jasper is on his way to pick you up."

"Okay."

Hearing her tell Edward goodbye was sad. The last time she saw him awake was the day of the incident. She's been depressed ever since and having nightmares…probably of seeing him and Tanya laid out in the floor with blood everywhere. Even that image is hard for me to stomach. It's especially hard for me to stomach the fact that I killed a woman less than a week ago. The only thing that stops me from thinking about the sound the baseball bat made as it shattered her skull is work. Angela has given me time off but I need something to do so I've been doing a lot of work from the hospital and I go in and do some filing after I leave the hospital at night, before I go home to rest. It's really all I can do to stop from thinking about the fact that I'm a murderer.

I walked Nessie down to the lobby where Jasper was waiting to take her. He and Alice would be coming in to sit with Edward after Carlisle so they were keeping Nessie until I left.

"Tell Alice I said thanks again… You too."

"Bella, you know she won't accept your thanks. You're family."

I kissed Nessie goodbye and then I went back into the hospital. The lobby was decorated with Christmas trees and children's coloring book pages, probably to try and give it a Christmas-y feeling but no matter how you paint it up this is still a place of sadness and suffering.

When I got back into Edward's room the nurse was there. She was waking him up.

"Here we go again Ms. Swan. Let's hope he's in a better mood."

"Yeah…let's hope."

For the first few minutes after the dope stopped flowing through Edward's veins he was groggy looking and I could tell he was confused. He looked around, and then at me, and then at the nurse and back at me. It took almost twenty minutes for him to come to his senses completely.

"Mr. Cullen, we're going to try and get you to eat some soup today."

He shook his head no.  
"Yes sir… You're going to have to eat something."

"I don't want any soup!" he said hoarsely, trying to yell

"Well too bad buddy, you're getting soup." I said

He narrowed his eyes at me, rolled them and then looked towards the wall. They had a neck brace on him so he couldn't move his head too much. I can tell we have a long road to go, especially if he's being this stubborn over soup.

**Edward**

The past few days have been like dreams. I don't hardly remember anything but seeing bits and pieces of my family. I want to think I heard Nessie's voice too but I'm not sure. Mostly though, whenever I wake up I see myself falling down the stairs again. I just wonder what happened to Tanya. I bet she got away.

That nurse went out to get soup and Bella stood there looking at me. She almost looked like she wanted to laugh. I doubt anything can be funny with the kind of pain I'm in right now. The only thing that isn't completely killing me right now is my legs but they still aren't comfortable because there's something wrapped around them.

"What's so funny?" it hurt to talk…damn cold hospital air.

"It's just uh, good to see you behaving better."

"Meaning?"

"The last time you were awake you were cursing like a sailor and groping me."

I'm glad I don't remember that.

"Oh. Sorry."

"In pain?"

"Yes."

"Well…go back to sleep."

"I will as soon as they take all this stuff off."

There are IV's in my arm, little braces on my legs, my neck is in a brace, there's a tube running up my dick and to top it all off the place where I got stabbed feels like it's on fire and my collar bone feels like somebody is squeezing it with pliers.

The nurse came back in with soup and threatened not to give me drugs if I didn't eat…so I did. It was gross. It wasn't even real soup. Just chicken broth! I probably would have been more stubborn but if Bella says I've been acting badly lately, I guess I have to save face now.

"Mr. Cullen, rate your pain on a sca…"

"26."

"Okay…. Well sir, we'll get some good stuff for you just as soon as you eat."

After I drank the broth to the nurse's liking she made good on her promise. While I was passing out I saw and felt Bella sitting beside me. I was glad she was there beside me.

_ Edward just wanted Bella to make a decision. He wanted her to speak, to talk, to be active. Sometimes he felt like he was in the relationship alone. She never argued with him, she never gave her input anymore. It was almost like she was the maid and not his wife. All she did was keep house, cook and tend to Nessie._

_ "Bella, I want to know what you want for dinner."_

_ "Whatever you want for dinner." _

_ "But I want whatever you want." _

_ "Just pick something Edward." _

_ "Lamb." _

_ "Lamb… I don't have any but I could go get some."_

_ "Bella you hate lamb. You have ever since you saw one being slaughtered when you were a kid."_

_ "Edward, lamb is fine."_

_ "No it's not. You don't like lamb. Talk to me Bella." _

_ "We are talking Edward, now sit down and relax. I'm going to get lamb."_

_ Bella rushed out of the house so that he wouldn't see her crying. She didn't like lamb and she had the feeling this conversation hadn't been about just a leg of lamb. She doesn't have a voice anymore. She decided to give it up so that she could keep Edward appeased. He's all she had so she wanted to keep him, no matter what it took. Even if it meant never deciding what they ate, what they did or revealing how she felt… she had to keep him around at all cost. She had the feeling that she was in a battle for him. Though she had no proof she knew he had his eye on another woman. He'd bought some new cologne, started showering more and he was coming home even later than usual. She only asked him about it once and then she didn't ask him again because she didn't want to pry or seem like she was accusing or nagging him._

_ She really just wanted him to hear her, even though she wasn't speaking, and know how much she loved him and how hard she was fighting to hold onto him even though he was as slippery as soap in her hands._

**Bella**

I would be lying if I said this whole incident hasn't made me re-evaluate me and Edward's failed marriage and why it failed. He did cheat, and that did hurt but before that I could have spoken up. I could have spoken up about a lot of things but… I was scared it'd push him away. I was just so fragile and depressed that I'd convinced myself revealing my pain would make him vanish. I should have expected more of him and demanded more of him. Then, things probably would have been a lot different.

"You remember that time we were going to California for Spring Break and that bug got down your shirt? Ha, we nearly had a wreck. You zoomed across four lanes of traffic onto the shoulder and jumped out of the car jumping around like a monkey and yelling 'oh fuck oh fuck'. I'd never been so scared in my entire life and I'd never laughed as hard as I did then… Those were good times."

I wasn't expecting him to say anything back but he did.

"It was biting me."

"Sorry… I didn't mean to wake you up."

He went back to sleep and I just sat there looking at the wall. Carlisle arrived a few minutes later and as I was walking out he stopped me.

"Bella, you'll always be my daughter…"

"Thanks Carlisle."

After that I left out, I stopped by the office for an hour or so and then I picked up Nessie and went home. Stanley Steamer has cleaned the entire house so there's no blood in the carpet anywhere. It doesn't feel like home because Edward is still in the hospital but at least with Nessie's presents under the tree and the Grinch on TV is almost feels like Christmas.

* * *

Garrett came over with Chinese food, which was great because I was starving. Nessie had insisted on making her own supper of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She was now asleep so I was up, alone.

"So, how's he doing?"

"Better… a little better."

"Great."

After eating, we sat up watching a little bit of TV. Garrett kissed my neck and I know that usually means things are going to get hot but for some reason I just was not in the mood.

"Not now, Nessie is upstairs."

"We could go into the bedroom."

"I'm just a little tired too. I'm so sorry Garrett. I'm just worn out and I don't think I'd be much fun tonight."

"That's fine…we can just watch Christmas cartoons."

I could tell he was disappointed and I was sorry for that but tonight just wasn't the night for sex. It just wouldn't feel right.


	14. Chapter 14

**Bella**

It's been a few weeks since the incident and Edward is now resting at home. Nessie is babysitting him. Jasper and Alice were staying for a few hours so everything should be fine. I'm glad Edward is home. The hospital was wearing me out and Nessie was stressed out with him being there. This experience has been a doozy and it made me realize how much I don't want Edward dead, but it also revealed to me that I don't hate him as much as I thought I did. Admittedly, I still care but not enough to take him and lose out on the great relationship I'm in now.

* * *

I had butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. Probably because I was so excited to be out on this date with Garrett and because I wanted him to like the gift I got him for being so awesome through this whole traumatic experience.

"Hey! You can't steal my banana bread and ice cream! Get your own dessert appetizer!" I said, blocking his spoon.

"Oh come on, just a bite… all that sugar will have you up all night."

"I'm counting on it buddy. That reminds me… I got you something."

"A gift after the New Year. I accept."

I pulled out the tiny box. I got him a business card holder. He's still carrying his around in the box they came in so I decided to get him one. He unwrapped it and smiled when he saw it.

"Thanks Bella."

"No thank you Garrett. You've been amazing during all this. Helping me with my child and even buying groceries for us… I know I've kind of had you on the backburner these past few weeks and I want to apologize for that."

"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you're still with me. For a minute I thought you'd fallen for Edward again."

"You know, a very scared part of me wanted to reconcile with him, thinking it would help bring him through but that part of me was wrong. I have love for Edward for what we had and for what we share now, which is Nessie…but I don't want him back. I want you."

"Well… I wish I'd heard that little speech earlier. It would have saved me from getting shitfaced and crying in a bar."

"Aw baby…"

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too."

After I gave him the gift I found that I wasn't all that nervous anymore. I started to loosen up and we had a nice time. After the restaurant we caught a cab back to his place. Once in the elevator he pushed me against the wall and placed a pathway of slow sheet kisses from my lips to my clavicle.

Once the elevator door opened an old lady was standing there with a little yappy dog. Garrett told her excuse me and he picked me up, carrying me to his apartment door. I reached into his pocket and got his keys and unlocked the door. Once me were inside he put me down and we kissed, his lips taste like the rum and cola he had with dinner. I liked the bite of it.

He unzipped my dress, placing his chilly hands on my sensitive skin. Shivers went down my back and I gasped. He chuckled and I retaliated by nibbling on his ear gently.

"Aw Bella… you know what that does to me."

"I know…I know."

He pulled the dress over my head and tossed it to the side. Next came my bra. He threw that behind him and instantly started to devour my breasts, kissing them, licking them…running his tongue across my nipples and blowing. The cool air made them harden and the stimulation made my clit jump.

Garrett pulled his bulging erection from his pants.

"You know these panties are a problem." he said, biting my lip gently.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?"

I felt a tugging sensation and heard the screeching sound of ripped fabric. Garrett was suddenly dangling my panties in front of my face. He ripped my panties off!

"I've got an idea. Put your hands behind your back. "

I did it and he tied my hands with my panties I've never done anything this kinky but I must admit it turned me on. He placed his hands on my sides and the lifted me up, guiding himself into me and then sliding me further onto his dick. I moaned out from the feeling of being totally filled up with him. He wrapped one arm around me while using the other to massage my clit. The first orgasm hit me, making me whimper out in pleasure. I used my knees to move myself on top of him. He used his arm to keep me moving at a slow pace while he continued rubbing my clitoris. I managed to get my hands free from the panty cuffs and I held onto him while grinding onto his wonderfully intrusive cock.

The orgasm wave came for me again and while I was clenching around him I felt his dick start to throb as he filled me up with his hot cum. For a few minutes afterwards I couldn't breathe so I just lay against him while he hugged me and ran his fingertips across my back, giving me tingles down my spine.

"My mom is coming into town next week."

"Really?"

"Yeah… She wants to meet you."

"That sounds nice."

"Oh and she wants to meet Nessie too. She's going to love you two."

"I hope so.

The thought of meeting Mama Hale was terrifying! I've talked to her over the phone a few times and she seems nice. Her voice reminds me of Ina Garten. She speaks so calmly. I just hope she approves because I really love Garrett.

**Edward**

Damn itchy ass wound. I wasn't supposed to scratch it so anytime it itched I was instructed to put some soothing aloe gel on it. The only problem was that it was across the room, on the dresser and I didn't feel like getting out of bed. I decided to ring the bell. It was what Nessie gave me so that she would know when I needed her. I must admit, she has been a very good caretaker. She even fixed me dinner… A jelly sandwich, since we are out of peanut butter, thanks to her and Alice making cookies earlier.  
"Yes Daddy, what is it? Do I need to call somebody?"

"No sweetie. Can you hand me that aloe gel?"

"Oh…okay…"

She handed it to me and then started to leave out.

"Oh Nurse Nessie."

"Huh?"

"It's half past midnight and if Mommy knew you were up this late she'd kill me, so your shift is over."

"But Dad! It's the weekend."

"I know but you're still a growing girl and the grow fairy won't visit unless you're sleeping so goodnight."

"Well can I sleep in here? There are elves in my room and they won't let me sleep."

"Elves?"

"Yes. Elves…Okay, there are no Elves… but I want you to tell me a story."

"About what?"

"I dunno."

"Well… go get in our pj's, brush your teeth and wash your face then we'll see."

"Yay!"

The past couple weeks have been eventful. Lying in the hospital, and then lying at home, has given me a lot of time to think and a lot of time to decide what path my life was going to go in from now on. Bella isn't coming back to me…that's for certain. So I've decided to move on and just accept her as a valuable friend. Mostly I've decided to put all my energy into fathering Nessie. As for dating…after what's just happened, love isn't really on my radar. I think I'll be laying off the ladies for a while.

"Alright daddy! I'm back…now I want to hear a story about a tough princess who saves the prince and kills something."

"Why does something have to die?  
"It's just the way it is daddy…now go, I demand entertainment."

"You demand entertainment? I'm the sick one!"

"Dad! Come on, you promised."

"Alright…once upon a time there was this princess name…Esme."

"Wasn't that your mom?"

"Yeah."

"Never mind about the story. I wanna hear about her!"

"Now that I can tell you."

Telling Nessie about my mom made me wish she was here. I was five when she died so there hasn't really been a time where I didn't miss her. My graduations, my wedding, Nessie's birth…this whole divorce thing and every time I saw my father boo hoo at her grave were the times when I missed her most. Not that I didn't miss her every day.

"Well, my mom was very nice. She was a doctor too…she worked with little babies."

"Like helping them be born?"

"Exactly. She sang a lot too. Every time she was around the house she hummed and her favorite sweets were homemade cookies and crème fudge and this lemon cream cake."

"Sounds delicious."

"They were…"

I told Nessie about my mom. I was glad she wasn't looking up at me though because I found that tears were falling from my eyes. After about ten minutes of my rambling she went to sleep and I got up from the bed. My body was still sore so it wasn't pleasant but I needed to talk to my dad.

It was pretty late so it took him a few rings to pick up the phone.

"Dad…"

"Edward, son how are you feeling? I called earlier but you were napping."

"I just needed to talk to you."

"Everything okay?"

"I was just telling Nessie about mom and I really miss her."

"Me too… Every day. You and Nessie should come and visit… I think it would be a good time to show her some old videos and photos. I'd like to see you both also and it'd give Bella some time to really rest."

"I'd like that, Nessie would too."

"Great, I'll see you next weekend then."

"See you next weekend, Dad."


	15. Chapter 15

**Edward**

"Well, they aren't as good as mommy's cookies but they'll do."

"Well, I'm glad you approve Bossy boots. Not go wash up. Grandpa Carlisle is taking us out for dinner."

"Is it somewhere that they give you crayons?"

"Probably."

"Oh boy!"

It took a long time for me to get here but I'm visiting my father for the weekend. The first time I had to cancel because I realized I wasn't well enough to fly. The second time I cancelled because I had entire too much to catch up on. There was no way I was letting my job slip through my fingers. Now I'm here and it's actually kind of nice being in the house I was raised in. I get to sleep in my old room and I'm embarrassed to say my dad has kept it exactly the same. I had to do some editing before letting Nessie see it because there were pictures of half naked ladies everywhere. She's sleeping in Alice's old bedroom, which has been updated, probably because she did it herself.

After I washed my hands and wiped down the counter tops I grabbed a beer and sat down on the couch. I knew I'd have to drink it quickly though before Nessie made her way back down the stairs. I don't like for her to see me drinking.

"Are you well enough to be drinking?"

"It's only a beer. It will help my soul."

"If you say so… How are you son?"

"I'd doing better dad. The doctor sai…"

"I know that you're on the road to being healthy again, despite the fact that you still only have one good arm. I'm talking about emotionally. A woman tried to kill you Edward."

"I know that Dad but… I'm not really dwelling on that. I think I felt like I deserved it a little."

"Edward you don't hon…"

"Well, that's just the way I feel. She's dead now anyway so… I guess there's not really much for me to worry about. She didn't have any family, none that she kept in contact with anyway, so as far as I know the city cremated her. I would have put her away properly but I was in a coma."

"Edward… I think you're going to be okay. How are you adjusting to Bella's new beau?"

"You mean that Garrett Fellow… I mean… Garrett, he's a good guy. As much as I hate to admit it. He even won Nessie over."

"Yeah, he seemed nice at the hospital. You think he and Bella are serious?"

"I'd say so… she might even marry the guy. If she did I think I'd give her my blessing. Not that she'd look for it or ask for it."

"Well, I'm glad you aren't bitter anymore. You know, I was listening to some interns talk the other day and they said young ladies go for men who are injured. Use that broken collarbone to your advantage."

"Okay! I'm ready!" said Nessie loudly. "Let's go eat!"

I knew my dad well enough to know that he was telling me to get back out there and date. The truth is that I'm not ready. Not because of the stabbing or anything but because I don't wanna hurt anybody. I'm starting to think I'm an emotional incubus.

**Bella**

"So you mean to tell me that my brother was….while I was on the phone with you that day? Bella! You're a little tramp!"

"Hey, I was drunk and letting my hair down."

"Oh my gosh! I'm going to beat him up the next time I see him."

"Don't be too rough on him."

"You're right. I should whip you too… Naughty naughty children."

"I'm just happy to have this Bella back… the Bella I knew in college."

"Oh Alice, please stop."

"What's that we used to call you? Bella of the ball."

"That was during my wild period when me and Edward broke up."

"You were so crazy! Now though, you're fun without the crazy."

"Bella? Crazy and wild? I'd pay top dollar to see that." Said Rose.

Yes, we were drunk. It was girls' night in and we were behaving badly while watching movies and reminiscing. Jasper and Garrett were out at some bar watching a game so we had Alice's place to ourselves.

As the night wound down the liquor in the bottles decreased. Alice soon reached her limit and went into a seemingly peaceful, drunken sleep. It was just Rosalie and I awake. I noticed that she looked somewhat withdrawn and sad.

"Rose, you okay?"

"Yeah I just… nothing."

"You can tell me."

"If I told you that I lied to you big time would you hate me forever?"

"That depends…"

"I didn't kill my husband."

"What! Well, what happened to him?"

"He left… Well I…put him out. I'm technically still married."

"Rosalie this is huge! Why'd you lie?"

"Because that day when you came into my shop you looked how I felt and I decided that you should at least be happy. I'm sorry I lied I just wanted to help."

"Well, it's a good thing I didn't take your advice and kill Edward then. I'd probably be sitting behind bars."

"You're not mad at me?"

I started laughing and Rosalie did too. Me finding out that her husband is alive and she fabricated his murder and death makes me realize that she's crazier than I thought. So what she isn't homicidal? She's been a good friend since I met her and I had my secrets too. I guess tonight is just the night for them to be revealed.

"So, was he a cheater?"

"Yeah… he was. We used to get into these horrible fights and I'd usually end up assaulting him some kind of way but he never hit me back. He'd just usually restrain me and kiss me and make me forgive him."

"What made him leave…for good?"

"I told him to get out, I threw his clothes out the window and I convinced him that I hated him. Haven't seen him since and I don't have a clue where he is."

"Well…for what it's worth I'm glad you lied to me. If you hadn't I'd probably still be jobless, depending on Edward and depressed."

"See Bella… sometimes lies are good." Said Alice with slurred speech.

Rosalie and I laughed before passing out on the couches ourselves. Before I closed my eyes I looked at my phone. There was a goodnight text message from Nessie and one from Garrett too, requesting that I not get too out of control. I replied to them both and then I closed my eyes and ventured into a very peaceful sleep.

**Edward**

I was so happy to be home that I could have kissed the porch. I didn't even care that _Garrett's _car was in the driveway. I guess I'm getting used to him being around. Nessie unlocked the door and I rolled in our bag. It smelled like meatloaf and cake. I knew Bella was cooking. Nessie ran into the kitchen and I walked behind slowly. When I got to the kitchen's entrance I saw Garrett picking Nessie up.

"Did you have fun with daddy?" asked Bella.

"Yes and I learned all about grandma Esme and I watched your wedding video!"

"When did you watch that?" I asked… hoping she didn't see the raunchy parts of it.

"I watched it when you and grandpa Carlisle went to bed. Mommy, why did Daddy stick his head under your dress and what was that little white thing he had in his mouth?"

Garrett started laughing and Bella turned apple red. I couldn't blame her…this was quite embarrassing.

"Um, baby how about I tell you about it later on. Go wash up for dinner."

"Okay."

Nessie went out of the room and Bella hit me in my one good arm.

"I cannot believe you let her watch that! She probably saw Jasper's drunken striptease and everything."

"What? I didn't know… I swear."

"Now I kind of want to see this. Sounds like it was one hell of a party." Said Garrett.

"Maybe when you're older." Said Bella playfully.

The more I see them together the more I see how truly happy she is. This doesn't seem like some sexual escapade. I can tell that he truly cares for her. I could tell that by the way he catered to her when I was in the hospital. He even came to visit me a couple times. It was awkward but I came to appreciate what a good guy he is. He's a really really…good guy.

I left the kitchen and went upstairs. It was a struggle to get the bag up there but I managed to. It was easier now that there was carpet on the staircase. I learned my lesson on that.

I put up my travel toiletries and realize I was out of toothpaste, shaving cream and soap… I still haven't gotten used to doing my own shopping for things like that. I knew I'd have to go back out.

I grabbed the keys and got in the car. Driving with one arm hasn't been the most pleasant thing but it's doable. Plus, the store is just up the street so it shouldn't be too much of a stretch.

The roads were nearly empty, which was pleasant surprise. I was able to get a good parking spot at the store… that was downright shocking and the lines didn't seem to be too long. I got in, grabbed a miniature buggy and started shopping.

By the time I reached the front of the store to check out I'd loaded the buggy up with the toothpaste, shaving cream and soap I came for…in addition to two dozen packs of double mint gum that were on sale, a pineapple, also on sale and several varieties of canned vegetables that were three for a dollar. The deal was too good to pass up. Oh, and I got a coke. I instantly wondered why I'd spent twenty five dollars on canned vegetables that I probably wouldn't eat.

Since I was out I decided to stop by the café and have some coffee. So I did. It wasn't that crowded either which was a real surprise. I got a black coffee and then sat down to enjoy it. I took a seat by the window. There was a guy sitting there. He was huge, like a bear but I could tell it was muscle. I remember in college I went to the gym to try and get buff like that but I gave up after a week.

"This city is quiet tonight. Must be the rain." He said.

"Possibly… maybe everybody's finally tired."

"I doubt that. We must just be in the part nobody's in. I'm Emmett."

"Edward."

"You look familiar. I think…you were on the news."

"I was?"

"Didn't some crazy woman break into your house and try to kill you?"

"Yeah."

"How did you gain that enemy my friend?"

"Adultery and apathy."

"Apathy… Wish I could be so lucky. It's the adultery part that fucked me over."

"Well you're still wearing your ring."

"Yeah, separated for two years now… Her name is Rosalie."

What the hell?

"Rosalie Hale?"

"We're not divorced so it's still technically Rosalie Mc Carty. You know her?"

"She's friends with my ex wife…my ex wife is dating her brother. This is crazy."

"It truly is…Garrett's a good guy though so…"

"Yeah I know. You are aware Rosalie's told people you're dead."

"No… I wasn't aware of that but I'm not surprised. She said I was dead to her the night she put me out."

"Well…did you deserve to be put out?"

"I probably deserved to be killed, any word on how I died...according to her?"

"No clue."

It's very interesting, the people you meet in a coffee shop. Emmett and I agreed to go grab a beer sometime. I have a feeling I just opened up a can of worms for Rosalie. My bad.


	16. Chapter 16

**Bella**

It's Saturday and I just got done working a wedding… it turned out beautiful. The bride was nervous, which is normal, but once she saw the groom she wasn't anymore. I ended up crying, like I do at most of the weddings I plan. There's just something so romantic and emotion evoking about two people professing their love to one another.

It was only four and I knew Rosalie would still be at the salon. I decided to go in and get a manicure. My nails weren't in bad shape but having my nails done relaxes me. When I walked in Kim rolled her eyes and pointed to the back. There was yelling and screaming. I walked back cautiously.

"Yes! Okay! So I told a few people you were dead! What's the big deal?"

"I'm not dead Rosalie! I'm not fucking dead! Just to let you know what a small world this is, I learned this from a stranger in a coffee shop."

"Well… that's not my problem."

"Woman… do you know that I've been stalking you for the past year?"

"That's not my problem either but now that I know that I might consider getting a restraining order."

"You wouldn't dare… you can't even divorce me."

I peeped around the corner, not wanting to get in the middle of the mess. He was walking closer to her and she was threatening him with the sharp end of a metal cuticle pusher. I didn't want to see things get violent, at least half of me didn't. The other half wanted to see if she'd really stab him with it.

"Don't tempt me Emmett Mc Carty!"

"Admit you still love me!"  
"You're a cheater!"

"I was a cheater. I've had a lot of time to think Rose… lots of it."

"I can't Emmett; you hurt me and made me feel horrible about myself. I… I wanted to die… so I killed you instead."

"How's Toddy?"

"He's good… still sneaking dog food."

"See you around Mrs. Mc Carty…"

The guy walked out. I went into her cubicle. She was ripping apart cotton balls.

"Hey, aren't you glad there's no blood to clean up?" I asked, trying to make light of the situation.

"Were you listening?"

"Yes… I was. That's the famous Emmett huh?"

"Yeah. I just hate him so much. Can you believe I still cry over this jerk sometimes?"

"Yes… I can believe that Rose."

" He's such an asshole! Geez! Oh, what are you here for?"

"A manicure but that can wait. Vent."

"He came in here telling me that he's been stalking me for a year and that some guy in a café told him I was telling people he was dead…which is true. Anyways, he confronted me about that, we got into a huge argument and now I'm…like this. I'm so pathetic. It's been nearly two years and I'm still so…emotional."

"It'll be okay Rose… It'll be okay."

I've never seen Rosalie so emotional before. She always seemed pretty together but now I know she was barely being held together. She vented to me some more and then I went home. Nessie was parked in front of the TV watching cartoons. I just ruffled her hair; I didn't want to disturb her. When I got into the kitchen Alice was raiding my fridge. I could only conclude that Jasper had dropped her off.

"There's an intruder here."

"Hey… I was starting to think you'd never make it here. I need to crash here for a few days."

"Sure, what's going on?"

"Me and Jasper had a huge fight. So I stole his car and he came and stole it back about an hour ago…"

"What happened?"

"He wants kids and I… I don't think I do Bella. I love Nessie but a baby of my own. I'm just… I'm terrified… Completely terrified of that. Whenever he talks about it he just seems so ready for it and that makes me happy but I'm not ready and so when I think of myself, with a baby, I get depressed and… Jasper's so mad at me Bella. He won't even look at me. I think I hurt him."

I honestly never thought I'd see the day where Alice was the one crying over her husband. They are the super couple…they are my rocks and my picture of relationship perfection but I guess nobody is perfect, truly, nobody.

Alice sat at my breakfast island eating raw cake mix from a bowl and I stepped out onto the back porch to make a call.

"Bella, I know you're calling for Alice. Tell her I don't want to hear her voice right now."

"Jasper… she's scared."

"Of what! I just want kids with her! I just want a family with my wife…"

"She doesn't think she's ready and she might not be. She scared she won't be a good mother… she doesn't think she has it in her."

"Tell her… I need some time to think so she should just…leave me alone for a few days."

"Do you promise to call her in two days? That should be enough time…"

"Fine. I'll call her in two days."

"Good."

Today is a bad day for couples. Must be something in the water.

* * *

After a few rum and colas Alice was in horrible shape. I ended up having to practically drag her to the guest bedroom. She started to talk to me and even though it was slurred, I could understand what she was saying.

"You know Bella… I always wonder what if… what if I have a baby and then I die, before it's even old enough to remember my smile or my laugh or how much I would love it."

"Alice, don't think about that stuff. Please?"

"I can't help it. I love Jasper, Bella. I love him so much…"

"He loves you too Alice. He loves you a lot."

I tried to stop her but she grabbed her phone and called him again. From the way she started crying I could tell he didn't send her to voicemail this time. She started crying and talking into the phone. I left out to give her some privacy. I happened to walk by Edward's room.

"Can you keep an eye on Alice, she's drunk and crying on the phone. I don't want her to jump out the window."

"Well, if Jasper picked up the phone for her that means he's not really mad anymore so he'll be here in a few, more than likely. He doesn't stay mad long."

"That's good to know. Thanks for running Nessie to bed."

"Bella she's my daughter too. You don't have to thank me for parenting her."

"Sorry…"

"I know, you're not used to it but you'll adjust."

"I know."

"No hot date with Garrett?"

"He's on a business trip."

"Oh… Well…goodnight."

"Nighty night."

Edward was right. Five minutes later Jasper knocked on the door looking just as distressed as Alice. I didn't even have to go get Alice because she drunkenly wobbled down the stairs, right over to him. They hugged and kissed and then he carried her out the door while she cried and whispered to him. It was a touching moment. So touching I found myself crying. Geez, now I'm getting all emotion.

They left together and I knew they'd both be okay.


	17. Chapter 17

**6 Months Later**

**Bella**

I packed the last fragile item and placed it in a box. I've never been so happy to wrap something in newspaper in my life! Who knew packing was so stressful? The only good thing is the reason why I'm packing.

Things over the past six months have taken off dramatically. I now have some clout in this area as a planner and I'm always on the go during my business hours. That's right… I have business hours along with Angela! Oh, and Garrett proposed to me so I'm moving out. Nessie is going keep all of her things here and then we are just going to buy her new stuff for Garrett's place. The idea of moving out scared her at first and she didn't want Edward to be mad at her. But once he let her know he was okay with it and that they'd still see each other she was as happy as a clam. In fact, she's been circling beds and comforters she wants in the home décor magazines and she's been picking out paint swatches every time she goes into the store. The room will be pink, that much she's decided but she's stuck between bubble gum and "Barbie" pink…as she calls it.

I started walking the box down the stairs. Garrett met me halfway and took it from my hands.

"Mr. Hale, I'm fully capable of carrying a box of breakables down the stairs."

"Ms. Swan… just let me carry the box or it'll get ugly. Isn't that right Nessie?"

"I dunno… I guess so. Are you guys gonna kiss again because I think that's yucky!"

"One day you won't Nes… and I dread that day." Said Edward as he carried a box outside.

He was being a good sport about this… a great sport actually. He's helping us move into Garrett's place. Everybody's helping, even Emmett. He and Edward have become friends so he's over occasionally. Mostly though, I think he's working his way back into Rose's life. They are getting counseling and sharing the dog again so I guess it's working.

After the last box was loaded Emmett, Jasper and Garrett took off in the truck. The house seemed oddly empty with half of the contents gone. It was just Edward, me and Nessie in the house. In a way the situation was sad…the definite end of a large portion of my life. But it was also a happy moment… I was turning the channel to something new.

"Well, you're all moved out. Guess I'll be seeing you around."

"Guess so." I said back.

"Mommy... am I going with you or staying with Daddy?"

"You're staying with Daddy for today, until we get everything unpacked."

"Oh…okay."

She ran outside and into the playhouse that Edward had finally built for her. She loved that thing. She slept in it sometimes and when she got mad at me for not letting her eat an entire pack of fudge striped cookies, that's where she went to when she ran away from home! Who could blame her though? The girl has her own house. It's as big as an actual one anyway. I'm surprised it doesn't come with a mortgage.

I went to the new place where everything was chaos. Rosalie was fussing at Emmett, telling him to be careful with my breakables; he was fussing at her back, telling her he had it under control. Alice and Jasper were fighting over a box cutter and in the middle was Garrett who was quietly and gently placing a picture of me, him and Nessie on the mantle.

I slammed the door and everybody got quiet. I managed to tell them where everything needed to be and things started to fall into place. I hung pictures, Garrett cut and broke down boxes, Alice put the bathroom stuff in the bathroom while Rosalie stocked the kitchen with dishes and cookware. A lot of it was mine but some of it was early wedding gifts. The Hales were really generous and sweet, though crazy as hell like Rosalie and Mama Hale. Nessie liked having cousins her age to play with. When we went to the Hale family reunion I found out what a little tomboy my child really was. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw her hanging from a tree by the back of her knees!

After a few hours I was completely moved in and Garrett's bachelor pad was turned into a home. After all the boxes and newspaper were put in the recycling bins for later use, everybody bid us goodbye.

When that door shut Garret turned to look at me with a sneaky smile on his face.

"I see my plan worked."

"Oh, what plan would that be?"

"See, I'm a vampire and my plot was to get you to move in with me so I could make my vampire bride and nobody would suspect a thing."

"Well now I'm scared… Look at me, I'm shaking… I can't believe we're engaged and living together."

"It's nice. Though I have one complaint."

"What's that?"

"Too many girls. There should be at least one more guy in this house so that you and Nessie can't gang up on me and make me watch those sappy fairytales and girly cartoons."

"Are you suggesting we turn our wedding into a shotgun wedding?"

"Well… yeah.  
He picked me up and carried me into our bedroom. Our, bedroom… He tossed me onto the bed and it felt like I landed on feathers. He crawled over me and I pulled him down by his shirt, causing his weight to press against my body. It made me more breathless than I was. Every kiss contributed to that feeling of breathless ness. The way he licked my lips after each meeting of our mouth, the way he always seemed hungry for more of my kisses.

He took off the tank top I was wearing and easily undone the bra. Tossing both of them to the side. He lapped at my nipples making the ache in the pit of my stomach grow. I thought I might cum just from his meticulous adorations of my breasts but I didn't. At least not until he stripped off my jeans and started licking me through my panties. He held my legs open, ensuring that I didn't crush his head between them while he stroked my thighs and devoured me through the cotton. I found myself grinding into his face, moaning his name in whispers because the weight of impeding orgasm made it too hard for me to let a yell rip free from my chest. My back was arched and toes curled as he slipped a finger in through the side of my panties and into me, caressing my inner workings gently while his tongue lapped at the juices leaking through my underwear. That was all it took, I came hard and he continued to massage my inner self while I clenched around his finger, inviting him to go deeper and deeper.

He stood up and I felt small and almost high, but I liked the feeling. He yanked off my panties and pulled down his pants. His boner, now unrestricted by the denim stuck out like a pirate's plank.

"You know, it would be really fun for me to torture you a bit." He said.

"Please don't…"

"Get on your knees."

I did and he propped up pillows under me. He also put a mirror against our headboard. When I asked him why the first time we ever tried this position he said it was because he still wanted to be able to see my face. Most would think it'd be awkward but it kind of gets me off watching him, while he's watching me and seeing myself get fucked.

He entered me and instantly sent little shocks through my belly and thighs, causing my heart to race. Those little shocks intensified with each time he moved his huge cock in and out of me. I loved how warm he was. I especially loved how he would lean down on me and wrap his arms around me while reaching down to palm my pussy. Never rubbing my clit or anything, just cupping my pussy in his hand.

The pressure spread throughout my entire body but it was strongest inside me, in that place. I felt that familiar tingle and then suddenly it hit me and my orgasm came dripping down my thighs. I whimpered out, crashing into the pillows Garrett placed under me. He went on, pushing into me until he came, leaving his hot, wetness inside of me. We were both satisfied but there was a mess to clean up. I think I need to drink more water because if this is what I have to look forward to every night… I might get dehydrated.

**Edward**

This house doesn't feel right without Bella. Even though we are divorced, just having her here filled it in a strange way. Nessie has been playing in her little house for an hour so it's been extra quiet, except for the semi- muted sounds from the TV. I've just been sitting here, having a glass of water and thinking about how to keep moving on. I'm happy for Bella but still a little sad, admittedly.

After moping around for a few minutes I decided not to do it anymore. Sitting in the house was only going to make me sad so I decided to take my daughter out. Unfortunately, that would mean taking her to pizza planet. I went outside and called her name.

"Nessie!"

"Yes daddy?"

"Pizza Plant."

"Yes! Yes! Pizza Planet! Let let's go right now!"

"Okay little girl. I just gotta grab my keys."

She was excited and that made me happy. Though, I knew I was setting myself up for torture. Pure torture.

When we arrived at the place it was like I remembered. It smelled like pizza, it was loud and very very sticky. Nessie ran off with the first batch of tokens I got but I kept an eye on her. She was really good at the games and most of the time she came over to me with a full ribbon of tickets to look after.

Watching all the kids play made me feel old. They are so carefree and happy. I remember the days when happiness was just something that came naturally, there was no reason needed to be happy. I miss those days and as much as I wish I could get the nonchalant-ness about life and that natural joy back, I know it's gone for good. That's all a part of growing up.

**Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!**


	18. Note about character choice

Hi Everybody! There's a new chapter coming your way soon but I've been reading the reviews (thanks for reading and reviewing) and I thought I'd clear up a big misunderstanding. In chapter 5 at the bottom of the page, there is an author note where I explained that** I don't choose the A and B characters in my stories based off relationship status but by point of view.** Since I'm speaking through Bella's voice sometimes and Edward's other times it's a Bella and Edward story. Even though she is with Garrett, I won't pick him as a B character because I won't be speaking through him. It might be a little confusing this way but it's been my personal system for every story I've ever written . Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

Oh and everybody wondering if there will be a happily ever after...i can't promise that because happily ever after means something different to everyone. Plus if I told you what was going to happen you wouldn't want to read because you'd already know!

So once again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing and fussing and hanging in there! I really do appreciate hearing from you guys. Thanks!


	19. Chapter 18

**So, I was watching one of my favorite tear-jerking, anger evoking movies ever (Bastard out of Carolina) and it helped me with my sudden bought of writer's block and gave me inspiration for this next chapter. Admittedly… I cried like a baby writing it.**

**Bella**

"Bye Mommy…" Nessie said as she wiped her eyes.

She was crying because I was leaving for my honeymoon with Garrett for two weeks. It's the longest I've been away from her.

"Oh baby, don't cry. You'll be hanging with daddy, Alice and Jasper… I'm sure they won't make you eat vegetables or floss or clean up your room so you'll be fine. I love you baby."

"Love you. You promise to call?"

"Nothing but death can keep me from it."

After kissing her goodbye Alice, Rosalie and Mama Hale kissed my forehead and sent me to the little two person coupe where Garrett was waiting. I was still in my poufy dress. We were going home to change first before heading to the airport so I had to cram it into the car. It filled up the passenger seat and half the driver's seat too.

"Now, are you sure you don't need more tulle?" he asked, patting the fabric down.

"Stop teasing."

"Alright. Anyways, you look like a cupcake. I can't wait to take a bit out of you."

"Easy tiger."

Everything seemed prettier. It seemed like the city lights didn't just put off light, they sparkled like the stars. And the stars! They seemed to cover the entire sky like glitter wasted on a black marble floor. No clouds, no real traffic and me and Garrett… riding off into the night. Hopefully this time I've gotten it right.

We stopped at a red light and Garrett grabbed my hand, kissing me and giving me a bashful, dimpled smile. The light turned green and he took off. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until the lights shone in brightly on his side.

Time seemed to slow down. The pickup truck hitting the coupe we were in, the airbags going off and hitting me in the face and hurting me neck and nose, the crashes coming from the other side, as we hit another car and the glass flying around like water droplets from a sprinkler. At that moment I thought about Garrett, I thought about Nessie and Edward, my friends and my parents. Then I blacked out to the fading sound of the horn blowing in the distance.

**Edward**

"Then daddy, when the man asked who gives mommy to get married I told him that I did because I'm the boss!"

"Are you really now? How was the cake?"

"It was good! I had ten slices!"

"So that's why you can't sit down. Maybe you should have some water."

Nessie was still apparently having a sugar rush from the cake she ate and she was still excited over the wedding. Alice dropped her off over here and though it's close to midnight, she's bouncing around from corner to corner like flubber. I decided to let her get it all out. She'll crash soon enough.

It feels weird knowing that Bella got married again today but I'm happy for her. I even sent a gift. Well, okay, I don't know much about that kind of stuff so I had my secretary pick it out. Still, I paid.

After a few minutes Nessie started to slow down. She sat on the floor and looked at the TV. Good, the sugar is wearing off. I decided to skim through some of the messages I've gotten on the online dating site I've signed up for. I guess I'm just aching for another crazy woman or something.

In the middle of reading one woman's long, drawn out, clearly fabricated biography… the phone rang. I figured it was Alice, telling me she'd forgotten something of Nessie's at Bella's or something like that. I was right too... It was Alice.

"Hey Alice."

"Edward it's me…Jasper."

"Hey Jasper. What's up?"

"Something terrible has happened."

"What do you mean something terrible? Is Alice okay?"

"She's fine. She's on the passenger side. She can't talk because she's upset. We're on the way to the hospital."

"Hospital? Jasper, what the fuck is going on?"

I yelled, forgetting that Nessie was in the room.

"Daddy, what's the matter?"

"Edward, Garrett and Bella got into a wreck after they left the wedding. Mrs. Hale told Rosalie, Rose told us and we're telling you… Though I don't know if Nessie should come."

"Is she okay?"

"We don't know…we don't know yet."

Jasper hung up and Nessie stood beside the couch tugging at my sleeve.

"Daddy! What's the matter?"

"Nothing baby… just um, it's time for bed."

"You're not telling the truth!"

"Nessie… bed. It's late!"

"Fine!"

Did I stay, did I go? I wanted to see for myself what was going on; I wanted to make sure this wasn't a sick prank. Could I stand to see Bella folded up, broken, bruised and bloody? I'm not as strong as she is. Never have been. I wanted to jump in the car but I knew I couldn't leave Nessie alone and she definitely didn't need to go there to see that scene. Was it that bad? Mostly, did I have any right at all to go down there?

I peeped in on Nessie. She was asleep… That was a good thing. I went back downstairs and tried to side down. I couldn't stop shaking my leg and looking at the clock. It was almost as if someone had given me a time for the next time they'd call. When the phone did ring again I jumped, hard. My heart beat hard and fast, I could feel it in my tightening throat.

"Hello?"

"Edward… its Jasper."

"Jasper, what's the verdict?"

I heard loud crying and wailing in the background.

"Jasper?"

"Garrett is dead. The guy hit them at seventy miles per hour. He was drunk and he ran a red light. It rammed them into another car that hit on Bella's side and sandwiched them. Bella's in surgery. She's got internal bleeding from her ribs being broken and puncturing her lungs. The bones in her right arm are shattered and she's got some bleeding in her brain. Also, she's got some cuts from the glass. She miscarried too."

"This can't be real."

"It's a real life fucking nightmare Edward… fate is fucked up. This world and people in it are fucked up. There are plenty of cabs in this damn city! Plenty! Damn that bastard! You know a nurse told me he's been treated and he's okay? He's in jail but it's not enough."

"I can't believe this. I can't fucking believe this!"  
" You need to tell Nessie, Edward. Just wake her up early and tell her."

"Okay. How?"

"The best way that you can."

I could only think of the worst. What if Bella died? How would she react when she found

Garrett is dead and how would I tell Nessie. This was all like something out of the Twilight Zone. Something I was not at all prepared to deal with, not emotionally equipped to deal with. I found myself teeming with anger. Anger at the drunk. Jasper was right; there are plenty of cabs in this city. You could flag down one even on a fucked up day. There was no reason for that bastard to get behind the wheel. No reason at all and now he's scratch less while Bella fights for life and Garrett lays in some cold morgue compartment.

I'll admit that the thought of Bella with Garrett wasn't exactly a joyous one for me but she was happy and she loved him. He loved her too and he was good to her and my daughter. Even to me, even though he didn't know me. I owed it to her to be happy for her happiness. I owed it to Garrett to be anger at that drunken bastard for ending his life at the beginning of a new chapter.

I wanted her to pull through. It would kill me if she died. She's not with me anymore but the thought of her not being here, the thought of not being able to look into her chocolate brown eyes during a passing glance makes me want to scream, break windows and tear down doors.

I hadn't realized I was holding the glass my water was in until it shattered, leaving behind only shards on the floor and blood dripping from my hand.

"Shit!"

"Daddy?" asked Nessie, with a heavy, sleep filled voice. "Daddy, what happened?"

"I cut myself."

"Daddy, can I call Mommy? Her plane doesn't leave for another hour. Can I please?"

"Nessie… Sit down. I have to tell you something."

She walked down the stairs and sat at the bottom. I took a seat beside her. Squeezing my shirt between my bloody palm to soak up the blood.

"Nessie, tonight when Mommy and Garrett were leaving the reception they got into an accident."

"What kind of accident?"

"A car accident. Some bad, evil man hit them."

"Are they okay?"

"Well, baby… Garrett was hurt too badly. He died and they are working on Mommy now."

"Is she going to die?" Nessie said, alligator tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I hope not Nessie. I hope not."

"It's my fault! I wished that they didn't go on the honeymoon! I wished it and…"

"No, Nessie, it's not your fault. Don't think that. This happened because some bad man did something stupid. You hear me? This isn't your fault."

"Can I see Mommy? I want to see her."

"No sweet girl, not right now. The doctors are working on mommy."

"It's not fair… It's not fair!"

It's really not.


	20. Chapter 19

**Bella**

A woman with a big moon-y face was hovering over me when I opened my eyes. The light was too bright and her voice was too loud. It was almost like she was talking jibber jabber. I knew she was speaking English I just couldn't comprehend anything she was saying. I was in pain and confused and wondering why there was a moon-y faced woman hovering over me in a cold ass place like this!

After fifteen minutes of her talking to me, in baby talk, I finally started to understand her questions and requests. Blink this eye, blink that eye, wiggle this toe or that one, and give thumbs up. I guess she was trying to see if I could comprehend her to make sure I wasn't too damaged. I could only imagine what Garrett was going through if I was dealing with this torture. What a way to start off a honeymoon.

"My husband." I said, though it hurt to talk. "Where's my husband?"

The nurse's face wiped clear of the smile she was wearing. She placed her hand on my arm and exhaled.

"Your husband didn't make it."

"You're lying! You're a liar! We just got married yesterday an…"

"Honey you've been unconscious for over a week. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this."

"No! No it's not true! My husband isn't dead! Garrett! It's not funny that you put the nurses up to such a sick joke!"

"Please, calm down. Please."

My arm felt like somebody was twisting it around but I didn't care, even through the pain did take my breathe way. My entire body actually felt like it was on fire or liked I'd been run over and was completely flattened like a pancake. Still though, I persisted. I yanked out the IV's and other tubes and I pushed the nurse away as I placed my feet to the floor. As soon as I put my weight on the linoleum I crashed down onto it. It hurt like hell and the nurse tried to help me up but I pushed her again. I started to crawl. I just needed to get outside that room to prove to myself this sick joke wasn't true.

Suddenly, down the hall I saw two things. On the left I saw other nurses coming; one holding a needle of what was probably a sedative to knock me out. On the other side was Alice. She ran over to me.

"Bella!"

"Alice! The people at this hospital are sick fuckers! They told me Garrett died! That's not true… That's not true?"

"They aren't joking Bella. Garrett died…"

"No… we just got married. I.. we were going to start a family and be happy. Finally, be happy."

I sat in the middle of the floor, confused, wailing and bleeding from the veins while Alice rocked me and cried with me. The nurses put away the needle and helped me back into bed. It isn't fair. I'd finally gotten a piece of happiness. I finally felt like life was going to be great again and now that's all gone. Garrett is gone and I didn't get to say goodbye.

Alice and a gang of nurses helped me back into the hospital bed. They hooked me back up to the wires and cords. I couldn't move. I didn't know if I even wanted to. My Garrett was gone. My life was ruined.

The nurses left out. Even though everything on my body hurt I refused pain medication. That was nothing compared to what I was feeling on the inside. Garret… gone! Alice told me it was a drunk driver. A stupid drunk that killed Garrett. I hate than man, whoever he is and if I ever see him… I'll kill him dead.

I asked her more things, mostly about the accident and Garrett's funeral.

"The funeral was three days ago. It's good you missed it. It was…closed casket."

"What? His face was..."

"He didn't look like Garrett. I wish even I hadn't seen his face… Mrs. Hale came by to see you before she left. She's been calling every day. Rosalie comes by every day. She actually just left before you woke up. Edward's been by with Nessie a few times but he's hesitant about coming because she gets so depressed seeing you like this."

"I can imagine. You'll tell her I love her? Won't you Alice."

"Well, you're up now so you can tell her yourself."

I was in pain, not only physically but emotionally. I felt dizzy and half crazy. My body hurt, my heart hurt I started to long for that state of not being that I had when I was in the coma. I wanted to not know whether I'm alive or dead. I wanted to forget that I existed and not be aware that I didn't exist anymore. I wanted to die.

"Alice, could you get me something hot and salty…with a coke?"

"Sure. The fries at the burger joint across the street are good. I"ll be right back."

When she was gone I rose up. I placed my feet to the floor and I carefully stood up. I rolled into the bathroom with my IV and I grabbed the ice pitcher to take with me. Once inside I shut the door. I took out the IV and I placed it on the sink while I dipped my wrists in the ice water. The water soon turned dark red. Once I felt like I'd had enough cold I took out my wrists and stabbed the needle into my vein, running it up, tearing at through my skin. Blood squirted all over the place and I got increasingly weak.

The door suddenly opened up. It was Alice; she screamed and ran out for help. I started to fade in and out and a slew of nurses and doctors rushed in. I faded out. When I woke up bright lights were over my head and a mask was being put over my face. I faded out.

**Edward**

"Edward there was just blood everywhere and… I can't believe she tried to kill herself."

"I can't tell Nessie this…"

"No, I wouldn't. I just thought you'd wanna know."

"Alice, why can't life ever be happy?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know."

Hearing that Bella had finally woken up, only to try to kill herself was definitely the lowlight of my day. So far my life has been work, Nessie and worrying. Constant worrying. I've been worried about Bella. Wondering if she'll ever wake up and I've been doubly worried about Nessie. She's had to go back to see her counselor. This whole thing has her under a lot of stress. It makes me jealous that she has to deal with his when none of her friends do. No, their parents go on living happily and raising their children happily. It's almost like unhappiness is stalking this family. Even those who've married into it.

I was young like Nessie when my mother died. It would kill me if she had to grow up without Bella, the same way I did. It would kill me if she forgot the way Bella smelled and had to fabricate the memory just so she wouldn't lose it.

Bella tried to kill herself. I can't say I wouldn't, in her position. This situation is horrible.

I took Nessie to the visitation before the funeral but I didn't want her to stay for the service. It would have been too much and from what Alice told me, I did the right thing. If Bella never gets better then it will always be up to me to do the right thing… and that's truly terrifying.


	21. Chapter 20

**Bella**

I'm getting out of the hospital today. It will be the first time I've seen Nessie since the night of my wedding. After my impulsive suicide attempt Edward decided not to let her visit while I was in that state. I'm grateful to him for that. For days after my failure I was catatonic. I didn't speak to anyone, I knew they were there but I tuned everything out. It was easier that way… easier to make sense of life and my situation. It was then that I realized dying wasn't the solution. Leaving Nessie a half- orphan would make her empty inside and angry. I need to live, if not for me, then for her. Though I have to admit it's a struggle of will power just trying to lift my eye lids to let in the light. The desire to remain sleeping, permanently sleeping, still finds me. However, the drive to be there for my child is stronger.

They wheeled me out and Alice was there with Jasper and the car. They helped me get into the back and they took me to their house. I'm selling the pent. Having to live there without Garrett and still seeing constant reminders of him would only make me more depressed. If I'm going to be okay then I need a fresh start. For now, I'm staying with Alice and Jasper. They've moved into a bigger house because they're going to start trying for a baby. For now, they are letting me crash in the guest room.

When we got to their place I got out and walked slowly into the house. I wanted to take in the cold air. It was a cloudy, sad- looking day. It's funny how nature can mirror your emotions. Alice opened the door and I walked inside, climbing the stairs, with Jasper's assistance and into the guest room. It was a nice space and warm.

I immediately lay down on the bed and curled up. Something I hadn't been able to do in the hospital. It was a good change.

For an hour or so I just lay on the bed, staring out the window at the rain that had started up. I started crying. Crying because life is such a bitch. It couldn't even give me a full year of marital bliss with Garrett before it took him away. It couldn't even let me go with him. Life and death just annulled my marriage. The thing I was going to do right this time around. My portion of happiness.

The door opened and half the bed weighted down.

"Now that we aren't in the hospital… we've gotta have a real chat." Said Alice.

"Alice pl…"

"No Bella, no Alice please! Don't you ever in your life try to kill yourself again! Nessie depends on you! I depend on you! You were so selfish. How could you be so selfish?"

"I just wanted the pain to stop. I wanted it to go away Alice. I didn't want to feel anything at all."

"Oh Bella…"

"Don't worry. I won't be doing that again. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I've never been so scared. Not even when you were in surgery! Blood was everywhere you were dying… it's like I saw the life literally flowing out of your wrists. You better not tell a soul but you scared me so badly that I pissed myself."

That made me laugh, my first laugh since waking up and finding out that I was now a divorcee and a widow. Alice laughed until she couldn't anymore and I laughed until I cried. Literally cried…the kind of cry that'd been begging to come out since they sewed up my wrists and sent me to the psych ward for suicide watch and then back to a hospital room.0

"I don't know what to do!" I yelled. "I just don't know what to do!"

"You live Bella, you just keep living." She said, crying as well.

Tears, tears and more tears. Rosalie came to visit and that was more tears and more threats and fussing. I have to admit that I half expected to be fussed on by her and Alice. What I did was stupid and even though a large portion of me wishes I were dead, I'm still glad I didn't die that way.

After I'd cried all I could for the moment Alice and Rosalie went off the start a welcome home dinner for me. I didn't have much of an appetite but they insisted that I eat.

I heard the doorbell ring and then the sound of little feet running up the stairs. It0 was Nessie. She busted into the room like a tornadic wind and ran to me, hugging me. I hugged her back and I stroked her curly bronze locks.

"Mommy I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too baby…"

"Can I lay with you?"

"Yeah, just take off your coat and shoes."

She took off her coat and shoes and jumped in bed with me. It felt good to wrap my arms around her and I realized how much I would have missed this and how much better it made me feel.

"Mama… I said bye to Garrett for you. They wouldn't let people see in the casket but I taped a letter from us into the bottom of it and I put your name on it."

"Thanks Nessie." I started to cry again.

"When we were cleaning out the apartment I found a picture of us three on a picnic. Can I keep it mama?"

"Of course you can."

"I've been sad."

"Me too."

"Daddy says you just have to think about happy stuff. It helps a little but not a lot."

"Well, now that I'm getting better maybe we can help make each other happy."

"I'd like that."

I know I'll never be that same after this. For the rest of my life I'll probably have moments where I can't speak and I can't breathe. Where I cry for no reason and lock myself away. I'm a chipped china dish, there's a piece of me that's missing and it can never be glued back in. Luckily, I'm surrounded by a lot of other great dishes that make my missing piece bearable… even if that space is always jagged and empty.

**Edward**

I stood outside the door listening to Bella and Nessie talk and catch up. I'm glad she's finally getting to see Bella. It was tough keeping them apart when Bella tried to kill herself but now that she can see her I think they'll both start to get better.

After a few minutes I knocked on the door frame gently.

"Dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry." Said Bella.

"I don't think they'll be taking no for an answer. Rosalie's already said she'd send Emmett to come and get you if there was a sign of struggle."

"What are they even serving?" she asked, sounding annoyed.

"Mashed potatoes, gravy and meatloaf mama! It's your favorite!"

"Well… I guess I'll come down for a few bites. I'm not really hungry."

"Good. Nessie, go wash your hands."

"Okay Daddy."

I didn't know what to say to Bella but I wanted to say something to let her know that I was sorry and that I was there for her.

"Bella, I want you to know that I love you."

"This is the wrong time to try and hit on me Edward."

"Not like that… I love you like a good friend and like the mother of my child. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. We all are and half the house is still technically yours… if you want it."

"Move back in, with you?"

"And Nessie…"

"I'll consider it."

I went downstairs and sat in the living room with Jasper and Emmett. It was quiet with the exception of the sportscaster's yelling and the sound of beer swishing around in a bottle. This type of quiet was nice.


	22. Chapter 21

**Bella**

I got out of the car. Alice gave me a sad tiny smile before I closed the door. It's the first time I'm visiting Garrett's grave. I had flowers in my hand as I neared his resting place. His tombstone read "Garrett Hale, Beloved Son, Brother, Husband, Step father and Friend. You are missed." I kneeled at it and I placed the flowers against the cold granite. I placed my palm to it and I remained still… I didn't know what to do next. I didn't know if I should say anything or not. Instead I just remained there kneeling, my eyes closed and my palm pressed to the headstone. It started to rain. The water droplets hit my neck and shocked me into shivers but they did not do enough to make me move.

There's no telling how long I was there in the rain. There's no telling how long I would have been there if Alice hadn't come and grabbed me and escorted me back to the car. She blasted the heat and it started to warm me up a little. The car ride was silent. There was a lot of silence now. There are sporadic moments of happiness, though I don't see them often. When they come, they only last a few minutes and then everything goes back to the way it was. Quiet and gray and cold. Even in warmth and light with sound… it's still quiet, gray and cold.

"Well… your cast is coming off tomorrow. I know you'll be happy about that. You can drive again."

"Yeah."

"Going back to work?"

"I need another week or three."

"I can understand that… Nessie called. She asked if I could stop you by Edward's. She wants to see you and he's glued to his laptop."

"I can't go looking like this."

"She doesn't care how you look… you know that."

"I look scary right now Alice."

"It's because you aren't eating or drinking or sleeping…I'm worried about you. Jasper says I should let you do whatever you're doing but I can't just let you starve yourself."

I see Nessie every couple days…sort of. Usually when she comes to Alice and Jasper's I'm in the guest room, in the dark. The light from the outside hits me briefly but my child never sees how horrid I look. I hold her in my arms and I soothe myself and I soothe her but I never let her see me. The bought of strength I had was temporary. I keep getting hit with sorrow and depression so deep that I can't pull it out, evaporate it or get over it. I'm mourning my husband, my parents, the child I found out I lost… I'm mourning life.

"I don't know what to do… Where to go or how to cope with this. All of this."

"I asked me and Jasper's counselor and he gave me the name of a good psychiatrist. Dr. Jane Parker."

"I'll make an appointment."

"It's tomorrow at noon."

"You already made it. Why didn't you tell me?"

"What? I'm telling you now. Plus, this way I can be sure the appointment really gets made."

"Tomorrow at noon."

"Another thing…. This is sort of a favor I'm asking you. Go see Nessie in the daylight."

"Why?"

"So she can prove to you that unconditional love still exists."

There was no arguing with Alice. Not that I'd want to. I don't have any direction or energy or desire for anything.

When we made it back to her place I spoke to Jasper and I headed upstairs. Alice stopped me.

"Where are you going? Jasper made scampi."

"I'm not re…"

"Bella please eat something. You're scaring me! I'm afraid that you'll have a heart attack or die of malnutrition or fly away during the next strong wind."

"She's not that thin Alice."

"She needs to eat."

"Fine… I'll have a few bites but I'm not making promises."

**Edward**

It's the first time I've seen Bella in daylight in weeks. She looks sick. I know she is…technically. Anybody could see that she's depressed. I just hope there's some help for her.

After dropping Nessie off so that she could spend some time with her I decided to have a few drinks with a friend of mine.

When I got to the bar Vicky was already sitting there. She was easy to spot because of her wild red hair. I met her in college and we get together every now and again to discuss our women and life in general.

"Eddie! So nice of you to show up, finally."

"I was visiting Bella and dropping Nessie off."

"How is she? Getting better?"

"Well she got her cast off but emotionally…not at all."

"It's got to be rough. After Jillian lost the last baby and the savings ran out she got really depressed."

"Are you going to try invetro again?"

"Well… we'll have to save up first since insurance only pays a little bit of it. I tried talking to her about adoption again but after the last two backed out at the last minute she's a little gun shy about that. Any who…enough about my problems. How's the sex life?"

"There isn't one."

"What! Edward Cullen… The Edward Cullen, still no sex life? Have you been castrated?"

"No. Responsibilities have kept me from just looking for a girl and also it wouldn't feel right anymore. None of them are what I want."

"I get it. You still want Bella. Well, you should have listened to my advice back when I told you to dump old what's her face who tried to kill you."

"I should have done a lot of things. It's just like… when I think about how I was then I wonder how I got that way. Why was I so mean and why didn't I care?"

"Why is anybody mean and apathetic? It's just humanity. You aren't putting your chips in that basket though, are you?"

"No… I'm not but a guy can dream, can't he?"

I haven't really talked to anybody about Bella in a while. I don't want to tell Jasper or Emmett about it. They are my friends but I don't want them to think I'm a broken record. I haven't really seen much of them lately anyway. At least not for long periods of time. Things have been quiet and gray and cold. It's winter, so that's the be expected outside but it's almost as if all the life and color and warmth has been sucked from the earth, or like the rose colored glasses have been taken away.


	23. Chapter 22

**Bella**

I put the last of my things in the drawer. I've finally unpacked all my stuff, not that I had that much, it just seemed like a lot. I took Edward's offer and I moved back in with him and Nessie. She's happy about it and even though Alice and Jasper were great hosts, it feels good to move into my own place again.

Things are still hard, getting back to normal is hard but I went back to work a month ago. I'm still in therapy. Before I was going three times a week but now I go once a week. I've learned to let my emotions out. Since I'm not a talker I've resorted to writing things down. Before I wouldn't have kept a journal but now it helps. I've filled up three books already. After all the pages are used I burn them. It might sound crazy but it really helps me.

I arranged the perfume, pictures and make up on my dresser and when I was done I turned around and got stunned because Edward was standing there with his arms crossed.

"What are you doing?"

"I just came to tell you that Rosalie called and said she's on her way."

"Okay. How long have you been standing there?"

"Does it matter?"

"I guess not."

It's hard to believe so much time has passed since we decided to divorce. A little over two years. Nessie will be eight this year. He looks older. I've gotten older. Not only in my face but in my mind. I feel like I'm a million years old sometimes. Probably because I've had enough hurt to last a lifetime.

Edward continued to stand there while I straightened up my room.

"What is it?"

"Nothing… I'm just glad you're doing better."

"There's something you want to say Edward. You're hovering. I don't like it when people hover."

"I can't stand in the doorway?"

"Nope. You can't."

"It's good to see you've got your fight back. I'm only hovering because… I'm happy to see you."

"What?"

"I'm happy to see you doing better and being mean and whatever… I'm just glad to see that you've checked back into life."

I smiled involuntarily.

"Thanks Edward."

He walked over and hugged me and for some reason, I started to cry.

"It's okay… just let it all out. At least you're doing something."

"I don't know why I'm crying."

"Because you're human."

When I was done crying Edward and I were still hugging, Nessie happened to walk by. She stopped in the doorway and her mouth flew open.

"Did somebody else die?" she asked.

"No honey… nobody else died. I was just letting out a few stray tears."

"It's not that. You and daddy were hugging. I haven't seen you and daddy hug since you were married."

"Oh."

When I thought about it I realized she was right. That was the first time I hugged Edward since I decided to kick him to the curb. I guess that wound is finally healed completely.

The doorbell rang. It was Rosalie. I knew that much so grabbed my jacket and purse and I kissed Nessie goodbye. I opened the door and she and Emmett were bickering.

"Alright break it up."

"Bella! How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"I was just telling Emmett here that you would be way too busy to plan our wedding if we decided to do a re- commitment ceremony."

"I'm not actually too busy for that Rosalie."

"See, I told you Rose."

"Shut up Emmett, unless you'd like to sleep with Mr. Toddy tonight."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes and we are swinging by the get Alice."

It will be my first official girls' night since this all happened and I'm looking forward to it. After we picked up Alice we went to our usual bar and grille and ordered food and a few drinks.

"So…" said Alice. "Have either of you noticed anything different about me today?"

"No." said Rosalie. "Unless it's that you've gained some weight."

"Hey!" said Alice, pinching Rosalie.

"Ow! Well… it's true."

"I haven't gained weight! I'm pregnant! You were supposed to notice that I'm not drinking alcohol!"

"Ohhhh!" Rosalie and I both said.

"Congrats Alice. Does your brother know?" I asked.

"No, I wanted to tell you two first since you're my best friends and I'll announce it to everyone else this weekend at my party. Dad is coming in and everything."

"Oh, so that's why he's coming in. Edward thought it was just to see us."

"Well, here's to Alice." Said Rosalie as she raised her glass. "The most canvas painting, hissy fit throwing…"

"Ass kicking, loving doling mom to be in the Northwest. Love you Alice." I said.

"Awww…you guys!"

We spent the rest of the time making up baby names too ridiculous to be real. I told her about the pains of childbirth and then we started discussing nursery decoration. It was normal and I felt genuinely happy.

**Edward**

"I hugged her today." I blurted out.

"Okay." Said Emmett.

"That's the first time you've hugged since splitting up?" asked Jasper

"Yes."

"Well fuck…maybe she's not mad at you anymore." Said Emmett

"I don't think she's been mad at me for a long time."

"Well, why is this important to you Edward? It's only a hug." Said Jasper.

"He thinks there's hope. Don't crush it Jasper." Said Emmett. "Sometimes hope is all you have."

"Yeah well, no matter how much I hope I don't think she'll ever fall in love with me again, not the way I'm still in love with her."

"I knew it! I knew it!" yelled Nessie from the staircase.

"You know what sweetie?"

"You're still in love with mommy! I knew it! I'm gonna tell her."

"Way to go Nessie!" cheered Emmett.

"Shut up Emmett! Nessie, don't do that… you don't understand now but that would make mommy angry at me."

"I don't know… I think she should know."

"How much money do you want?"

"Money…daddy you can't pay me to be quiet but you could buy me something to make me forget."

"This kid has balls." Said Jasper.

"Anything."

"The pink bike with the tassels, bell, basket and water bottle holder we saw in the store the other day."

"Fine. It's yours. We'll get it tomorrow."

"Well dad…that store is open twenty four hours. I say we get it tonight because I don't think I can wait until morning…mom will be home in a few hours."

"Uh oh Edward… What are you gonna do?" asked Emmett

"Nessie put on your shoes."

"Thank you daddy!"

I'm being blackmailed by a child. I should punish her for eavesdropping but that won't solve anything. She knows way too much now. I can't have Bella knowing that I'm still in love with her under any circumstances. Nobody is ready for that.


	24. Chapter 23

**Bella**

**6 months later**

"You have such a beautiful family." Said the lady across from us at the airport

"Thank you maam."

Edward and Nessie were playing an engaging game of tic tac toe and they didn't hear the comment. I didn't feel like having to explain our complicated situation to the lady either so I just graciously accepted the compliment.

I won't say that I've gotten back to my old self because I'm not that same as before but I've gotten better. I've been back at work for about five months now and I'm about to go to my largest event yet. Rosalie and Emmett's re-commitment ceremony. It's going to be in Napa Valley. It turns out that Emmett's dad is rich and they reconciled after a falling out they had when he was sixteen so since he wasn't there for first wedding he's making it up to them by paying for the second one. He owns a Mc Mansion and a vineyard with a restaurant and everything so that's where the wedding and reception will be. That's also where the wedding party is staying. I'm wearing three hats for now. I'm the planner/ maid of honor/ supportive friend. Luckily everything is going according to plan so far and things are looking like they will go great on the big day.

They called for us to board the plane and I grabbed one of Nessie's hands while Edward grabbed the other. She tried to swing from them but we both ended up slumping over. She's about to be nine and she's grow a lot. My little Nessie is still little, just not as little as she used to be. In a year and a half she'll be a preteen! A preteen!

Once we were on the plane Nessie begged for the window seat so we let her have it. There were three seats a row so Edward and I were squished together like hotdogs in a pack.

The plane started up.

"Don't panic. It'll be okay."

I hate flying but I never get nervous until the plane starts up. Edward placed his hand over mine and he gave me a slight and reassuring smile. I felt a little better.

Nessie was humming and coloring. Cool as a cucumber. She's the flower girl so she's excited about that and in about a month or so Alice will have her babies and she's looking forward to that.

"I forgot to tell Alice we were about to leave." I said

"Well, you'll call when we get there. I pity her and Jasper."

"I know, they have to drive thirteen hours. I think I would have just broken the rules and snuck onto a plane."

* * *

Napa was beautiful. Emmett's father, Ralph, sent his assistant Herald out to get us so we got to ride and enjoy the view. I was happy that he didn't talk much. He greeted us, asked us if we needed to go anywhere and then he started driving. My kind of chauffer…not that I've been chauffeured much.

There were wine grapes, wine grapes and more wine grapes. It was beautiful! It made me think about Garrett and how I wish he could have been here with me. I know he would have wanted to be here too. He would have been giving Rosalie away since their dad is out of the picture and I know he would have done it with pride and honor. I miss him… I miss him so much and the worst part is that sometimes when I think about him now I start to get lonely.

I've come a long way but I know that I will never be healed completely. That broken part of my heart will always be tender because I'll always miss him. I still have to go to therapy for a tune up every now and again but I think that's healthy. I'm also still keeping a journal for my thoughts. I'm up to my thirteenth one. I'm glad to say that I don't fill the pages as quickly anymore.

We arrived to a beautiful rusted gate with vines wrapping around it. Herald punched in a code and the gate opened up to expose a house bigger than I could have ever imagined. It was beautiful. It had a rustic Italian look. In front of the house was a space for cars to drive around and park as well as a lake with a dock that led out to a gazebo in the middle of the water. All around the house lied rows and rows of grapes.

Edward and I looked at each other and then we got out of the car. Herald helped us get our bags and get into the house. We were escorted to our room.

"There are a lot of other guests coming who will need accommodating so Rosalie has requested that you and Mr. Cullen share and room, Ms. Swan."

"Oh…okay. That's fine."

"Great. Oh and there is a room with the Hale children that I think Nessie would like the stay in."

"What? Kids have a special room! Lead me to this place!" said Nessie, running ahead of Herald.

Okay, so I was going to room with Edward. The room was big enough to share. There was a couch so he can sleep on it.

"Do you want me to go and ask if they have extra blankets?" asked Edward

"If you want. You are sleeping on the couch."

"I can't. I have a bad back."

"Well… I have a bad shoulder so what are we going to do?"

"You know I don't have cooties and I'm not the boogey man. We could share the bed."

"That sounds like a reasonable solution." I hit him in the arm. "I can't believe you were going to try and stick me on the couch."

"I was just persuading you into choosing the more reasonable choice."

"Are you up to something?"  
"Me? Never…no."

This is going to be weird. Sleeping in a bed with Edward. I mean we talk more now and we're friends again but sleeping in the same bed with him will be… crazy. Plain and simple… crazy.

I started hanging up my dress when I heard squealing at the door. There was Alice, who was hugely and pregnant and Rosalie who was glowing with bridal bliss.

"Hey girls!"

"Oh my gosh I'm glad you finally made it!" screamed Rosalie. "We don't have to feel guilty about having fun without you anymore!"

"Well it's good to see you two too!"

"Big brother, Jasper and Emmett are golfing with Ralph." Said Alice

"Okay. Where's the golf course?"

"Somewhere around this place."

"That's telling me a lot. Bella, remember to keep your stuff on your side of the bed." He said with a little chuckle as he pinched my side and walked out.

Rosalie and Alice looked at me with their mouths open.

"What?"

"You're sleeping with Edward?" asked Alice

"I don't really have a choice. We both have chiropractic ailments and the couch is unfriendly. Plus we have to share a room. It's no big deal."

"Getting a little comfier with Edward huh?" asked Rosalie

"Rosalie I couldn't fathom dating yet. Especially not my ex husband. That's weird."

"Hey, I dated my ex husband."

"You were still married Rosalie… you just tricked yourself into thinking that you were a widow. I think I'll slip that into my toast." I said.

"Don't you dare! Point is Bella… Last week when you were at work Alice and I needed my veil and it was at your house. Alice let us in and we went to get it and we stumbled across your diary and we read it."  
"Every single page."

"I cannot believe you read my diary!"

"Your little section about being happy for us made us cry tears of joy…if that's any consolation." Chimed Alice.

"But?"

"But, we also read about how lonely you were and stuff like that." said Rose.

"And Jasper told me about Edward always talking about you…so much that he wants to just take him out and shoot him like a lame horse. It's sort of sad."

"And he talks about you so much that Emmett wants to just give him a cyanide capsule to put him out of his misery."

"I cannot believe what I'm hearing. I'm kicking you both out of my room… I need to freshen up."

"Well technically its Ralph's house so it's Ralph's room." said Alice, sticking out here tongue.

"Well fine…get out of Ralph's room. Bye!"

They left with chuckles… though the situation was serious. I started to panic. My heart raced and I needed to put water on my face. My stomach was doing flips too. I don't know why I'd suddenly gotten so nervous. You'd think they'd told me I was being put on trial for murder or something.

I showered. Not because I needed it but I wanted it. Airports always make me feel really sleazy. I decided to put on a sundress and flip flops to match the scenery and my mood. If I was sure I wouldn't step on anything that might cause me pain I might have even walked around barefoot. This was a work-cation… and I was going to treat it like one!

After coming out of the bathroom I put my hair in a bun and I went around the house looking for Alice and Rosalie until I found them on the balcony drinking wine. Well, Rosalie was drinking wine and Alice was having some grape juice.

I didn't waste any time. As soon as I sat down I grabbed the spare glass on the table and I poured a big cup of it.

"Easy…easy. You'll be wasted before we go on the tour if you keep this up."

"Tour?"

"Yeah. There's a path that leads you to the restaurant and store where you can have wine tastings and eat and sign up for wine tours. Since we're family… we get a tour. We were just waiting for you."

"Oh. Well… cool."

I finished off the glass and then we went downstairs to a little golf cart. I sat on the back and Alice took the passenger's seat while Rosalie drove. We rode over a little stony path until finally we reached little rustic Italian looking building. It was cute and crowded. I can see why though, Ralph's got some good booze.

We parked the golf cart and we went into the store. Rosalie seemed to know everyone. She had been there for two weeks though so I suppose I'd get friendly with the locals too.

The tour was… a tour. Mostly the tour guide told us about the different types of grapes and which wines they make. Then we went back to the little shop where we got to taste some wines. Since we were guests a bottle was on the house. I chose port. I like my wines sweet and the one I chose was. Since I'm on a work-cation I decided to indulge a little. I opened the wine while I was on the back of the cart and I started drinking it straight from the bottle.

**Edward**

It was truly a guy's day. It's nearly midnight I've been out all night having beers and playing golf. You think that'd be boring but it was actually refreshing to just basically do nothing. Well I guess I was doing something… I was getting toasted. It's been a while since I've lost this much of my sobriety.

I went up to the room and Bella was slipping on her nightgown. She obviously didn't hear me open the door. I decided to just admire her for a few minutes. At least I was trying to…she turned around and stumbled. I noticed then that she had lost her sobriety too.

"Are you drunk?" I asked

"Sort of…" she said with a chuckle

"Bella Swan… drinking."

"Ralph makes great wine."

"Well… he's got a brewery too and he makes great beer. Emmett's dad is awesome!"

"Shhh! You'll wake everybody up!"

"No I won't! These walls are soundproof!"

"Edward shhh!"

She stumbled over to me and put her hand over my mouth. I licked her palm and she removed her hand with a disgusted look on her face while she wiped the wetness on her gown.

"Asshole."

"Sorry…" I said with a chuckle

I don't know if it was all the beer or the moment of the fact that we were in a strange place but I felt risky. I kissed her. She didn't push me away but when our lips departed she looked at me with shock and awe on her face and then she slapped me…hard.

"Ouch!"

"Shut up!"

She yanked me by my shirt and kissed me before pushing me away and smacking me again.

"Why'd you hit me? You kissed me this time!"

"You put the idea in my head!"

We came together again… this time like magnets.


	25. Chapter 24

**Edward**

There was knocking at the door. My head was pounding and there was a bra wrapped around my head.

"Who is it?"

"It's me daddy and mommy!" said Nessie.

"Hold on sweetie!" I shouted back, regretting it.

I nudged Bella and she turned over. She was naked. I was naked. I thought last night was just a dream. I looked at my arms to make sure I was actually awake not. The scratches and claw marks were there. So were the bruises. We had to world's angriest sex last night.

"Daddy! Hurry up! Mr. Ralph and Emmett are cooking flapjacks shaped like grapes!"

"Coming in a minute baby. Why don't you go save me and mommy a seat?"

"Okay."

"Bella! Bella wake up!"

"Go away! My head hurts!"

"We had sex last night."

"What?!"

She rose up.

"Oh my goodness…you raped me?"

"Neither one of us was sober so you could have been the one raping me Swan."

"This isn't a big deal. It's not like we haven't had sex before."

"We're divorced Bella."

"I know… I know. You don't have any diseases do you?"

"No. Do you?"

"No! How could you ask me that?"

"How could you ask me that?" I replied.

"Well…you have a history of promiscuity."

She suddenly started laughing.

"What?" I asked.

"You have a shiner."

"You gave me a black eye? I wasn't dreaming that part?"

"I guess not. This is crazy. I'm going to shower."

I threw my feet over the bed and gravity proved how much it hated me. When the spinning in my head calmed down I went over to the dresser mirror and I looked at myself. I was bruised from head to toe with feathers in my hair. Where did the feathers come from? I didn't see any busted open pillows or down comforters. Did we kill a chicken?

* * *

I wasn't putting on makeup so I decided to tell everyone I fell into something as an excuse for my black eye and bruises. When we got downstairs everyone was talking and laughing then silence ensued.

"Mommy, daddy, you finally made it! The eggs are shaped like flowers!"

"That's neat baby." said Bella.

"Sleep well?" asked Ralph

"Yes sir… very well." I said.

"Good… good to hear that. From what I heard everybody else heard it too."

Bella pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. Her face was tomato red. This was embarrassing.

"Alright everyone…show's over. Eat your coffee and drink your flapjacks." Said Alice.

"Hun… I think you meant it the other way around." said Jasper

"I know that… I know what I meant." She said.

The food was good. I couldn't deny that much. Emmett and Ralph could cook. I still wonder what made them fall out in the first place. Emmett has never really talked about it. Not that it's any of my business anyway.

This evening is the first rehearsal and today we got pick up our tuxes. I can only hope mine fits. Nothing's worse than high-water pants with dress shoes.

**Bella**

I cannot believe that happened. I'm not drinking anymore on this trip, that's for sure. I had sex with Edward. I feel horrible, like I've betrayed Garrett in some kind of way. It hasn't even been a full year since his passing and I've had sex with my ex husband. What's wrong with me?

After breakfast I went to the room. I had two hours before dress fitting. I went into the backroom and I locked the door. The tears started to flow. I'm so confused and I feel horrible. Not just physically from the hangover, but emotionally.

"Bella, honey I know you're crying. Open the door." Said Rosalie.

"No…"

"As your temporary employer I demand it. As your friend I'm begging you."

I unlocked the door and she came in.

"Why the tears?"

"It's only been eight months and I've already had sex with someone else."

"You were both drunk and familiar to each other. I know you loved my brother. There's no doubt about that and he knew it too but you can't beat yourself up about little things like this. He's not here anymore and it's not like you're defaming him or trying to forget him."

"But I'm scared Rosalie."

"Of what?"

"I don't know. I'm just still scared. Of everything."

"Well… that's okay. We all get scared sometimes. Now…get yourself together and get ready to try on your dress along with a few ugly ones."

She left and I got dressed in a pair of jeans with a tee shirt and chucks. Simplicity was the theme. Afterwards I went out to the gazebo on the lake. I noticed there were lots of turtles in the water. I liked that.

"This is beautiful." Said Edward

"Yeah… it is. That's why when I got pictures of the property I knew Rose and Emmett needed to get married right in this gazebo so that the beauty of the land could just engulf them."

"I'm sorry Bella."

"Me too Edward. I was drunk and right now I'm confused and lonely and I just acted without thought. I didn't mean to."

"Me too. I'm just lonely."

"Why don't you date?"

"Funny thing… nobody acts quite like you."

"Will you ever move on from me?"

"No. Maybe that makes me pathetic or pitiful but I don't care."

"You know it'd never be the same."

"I wouldn't expect it to be. We aren't the same people."

"Maybe one day Edward."

"One day."

"But not today, tomorrow or next week."

I left the gazebo and I went into the house. Nessie was sitting in the kitchen alone eating chocolate ice cream. Breakfast wasn't that long ago so I know she can't be hungry.

"Honey… what are you doing in here?"

"Hiding. I don't wanna play anymore. I wanna stay with you mama."

"You're sure you don't wanna play even a little?"

"Nope."

"Well… maybe if you go beg Rosalie to let you tag along I can sneak you out."

"Okay! Great!"

"Oh honey, knock first!"

"Okay!"

She walked briskly up the stairs and I took over her ice cream.

_ Bella, Garrett and Nessie were at the park walking around for excercise. Afterwards Nessie was watching the ducks while Garrett and Bella sat on a bench talking._

_ "I think people can change." He said. "I've seen it… just takes the right circumstances and realizations."_

_ "I don't think so. I think they have the better qualities in them all along and the circumstances just force them to let the better ones show."_

_ "So you're saying the old dog already knows the new tricks… he's just not using them?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "Interesting."_

_ "Mom and Garrett! Look, there's a duck with ducklings in a row!"_

_ Bella loved the times she spent with Garrett and Nessie in the park just talking to him and watching her child. They were priceless and the conversations were profound. It was almost like philosophy or something. They were also effortless. Everything with Garrett was effortless. He was easy to fall in love with and he easily etched himself a permanent space on her heart. She wanted to easily spend the rest of her life with him… that was for sure._


	26. Chapter 25

**Bella**

"This is not happening. It's just not happening!" yelled Rosalie as she paced nervously peeling the mask off her face.

"Rose, calm down honey! They've set up some tents and the decorators are turning the restaurant into the most romantic little chapel you've ever seen! Plus, it's only drizzling, really. A little water won't ruin this. I assure you." I said. "Alice, make sure Rose stays calm. I'm going to check on progress."

I ran outside and hopped in the golf cart sitting under the porch. I hopped on and drove to the restaurant. The color was purple, a deep purple. When I walked into the restaurant I didn't recognize it because everything was so beautiful. Chairs were set up, an aisle was between them leading to an indoor gazebo seemingly made of just wire and flowers and twinkle lights. My jaw dropped to the floor.

"Ms. Swan, what do you think?"

"I think this decorating company is getting really high recommendations and a nice tip! This is amazing!"

"Oh it's no problem. Plus, you gave us the instructions we just followed. We still have a bit of work to do."

"Again… amazing. How's it coming with decorating upstairs for the cocktail hour during the change out?"

"It's going great. The lounge couches that were in the restaurant's lobby just happen to go with the scheme so we've moved them there along with the barstools and the mixologist has set up there too."

"I'll go have a look. Good job though, really!"

Everything was perfect. Even though it was raining cats and dogs this looked like it was going to turn out to be wonderful! It was dark and raining and in the restaurant, with only the twinkle lights shining it made it look very romantic and intimate. The upstairs space was wide open with room for people to stand around talking and for servers to go around offering hors d'oeuvres and drinks to the guests. It also had plenty of places to sit, for the ladies who wore show off shoes.

While I was taking in the beauty and amazement Edward came busting through the door. I looked over the rails of the upper floor.

"Bella! I need Bella."

"Edward? What's up?"

"Come quick! Rosalie's dad showed up and it's getting ugly between he and Ms. Hale! Rosalie's locked herself in the attic and Emmett's trying to break the door down. Basically…the shit has hit the fan."

"What? How'd he even get in?"

"Herald didn't know their rocky history so he let the guy in then things got crazy."

"Fuuuuuccccckkk!"

We ran outside and got into the golf cart. The rain had stopped, how ironic that when all hell breaks loose the weather wants to cooperate.

When I got into the house I heard blundering and screaming and Herald was calling the police while Ralph had a drink and cigar.

"Ralph how are you so calm right now?"

"This is nothing. You should have seen the fight me and my third wife had."

"But your house…."

"It's a house. It'll heal with the right construction workers."

I spied a golf club by the door.

"Ralph can I borrow this nine iron?"

"Sure…"

I ran upstairs, nearly failing to notice that Edward was still right behind me. I ran past Emmett who was trying to coax Rosalie out of the attic and I went to the room with the intruder. The door was locked so I hit the knob with the club and it broke off. The door flew open.

"This wedding is invitation only! Get out sir!"

"Who in the hell are you?"

"This is my sweet Bella. She was your son's wife before his passing. Of course you didn't show to their wedding or his funeral. She was in a coma so she had an excuse, what was yours?"

"Sir… again… this wedding is invitation only. Get out! The cops are on the way. Don't let shit get ugly."

"I'm not leaving til I get what I came for. I've got people after me. People who want me dead and I need…"

"You need money? Are you fucking kidding me? Emmett's father is rich not Rosalie. Even if she was rich you wouldn't deserve a red cent of it."

"Get out." I said again calmly.

"I'd listen to her if I were you sir." Said Edward

"Or else what? You'll have me arrested? Fuck you bunch of bitches."

He was walking out and I swatted the man across the ass with the golf club. He turned around and looked like he might charge but Edward's fist made contact with his face and he was out like a light. About that time the police arrived. After taking statements they picked him up. Turns out, he had some outstanding warrants. If we'd had handcuffs it would have been a citizen's arrest.

Ms. Hale and I hugged and she looked at me not saying anything. When we broke away I noticed that it was raining again. I also realize Emmett was still trying to get Rosalie out of the attic.

"Rose baby he's gone. It's going to be fine just come down from there, please."

"It's all ruined Emmett. It's raining and I'm fat and ugly! You're better off! Just…tell people I'm dead!"

"We all know that's your thing. I'm not going anywhere. I know you aren't fat or ugly and rain is a sign of good luck. Please Rosalie, I'm begging you… don't leave me alone at the altar."

"I can't Emmett… I'm just… I can't"

"Move aside." I said.

I hit the doorknob with the golf club and the door came open. I was on a roll, smashing doorknobs today. It must be brandy I had in my coffee this morning or maybe it's the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Either way… It's happening.

"Rosalie. The new venue is beautiful, your dress, body and face are flawless, the liquor and food is arriving, the guests will be here in an hour and a half, my child is wearing ruffle socks and princess Leia buns, I've had to sleep with my ex husband and your father in law is paying a shit ton for all of this joyful merriment! So you're gonna bring your ass down from the attic, you're gonna put on that fluffy dress and veil and you are going to recommit your life to this big boulder down here because he loves you and understands you and you belong together. Got that?"

"Damn Bella… You really got me told. You're right though… I just, I was having a nervous breakdown. Emmett, I'm sorry." She said. "About my dad and my freak out and your father's doorknobs even though that was Bella's fault."

"Don't worry about it. Just make sure you never scare me that way again."

"I won't… I'm a mess!"  
"That's where I come in handy! I'll do your hair and makeup!" shouted Alice cheerfully

"And I'll… have a heart attack and pass out from exhaustion… Get back to your places people! The show is over. Emmett, you need to be dressed and making your way to the restaurant in fifty to fifty- five minutes. Jasper, you too, Edward you as well. I'll go check on the flower girls and ring bearers."

I made my way to the room where the children were. They were already dressed and surprisingly sitting still and watching a movie. Nessie spotted me and ran over to me, hugging me.

"Mommy this dress it itchy and these shoes are pinchy!"

"Just a few more hours baby… a few more hours, okay?"

"Okay."

**Edward**

Seeing Bella kick ass and take names like that turned me on… Sleeping in a bed with her, especially knowing we had sex has been particularly challenging. I find myself tempted to touch what I'm not supposed to be touching.

The music started. The first down the aisles were the bridesmaids. Bella looked amazing. Next were the ring bearers and flower girls. Nessie looked like a cupcake in the fluffy dress Rosalie had her in. I could tell she wasn't happy to be wearing it because she smiled with her mouth only as she tossed the flowers from the tiny little basket she held. Next came Rosalie. I looked over to Emmett and I saw tears in his eyes and she marched towards him. Her mother was walking with her, giving her away. I think Garrett would have done it if he'd been here. It's a shame he's not… really.

The vows were touching and there wasn't a dry eye in the house when they were done. When it was time to salute Emmett picked Rosalie up and spun her around. Everyone laughed and some ladies sighed. They looked happy.

After the photos…the endless photos… Rosalie and Emmett escaped to a little room in the back and I went upstairs where cocktail hour was. Bella was standing at the bar having something that looked like a long island iced tea.

"Penny for your thoughts." I said.

"Are you kidding? You can have them for free."

"Well? Why do you look so sad?"

"I'm not sad…. I guess I'm just a little emotional. Seeing their fresh start. It's sweet."

"It makes you think of you and Garrett's wedding?"

"Not only that… it makes me think of our wedding too."

"That was a real experience huh?"

"You bet… When I was moving from the house I came across my dress and I thought about giving it to charity but I couldn't part with it."

"Well, my tux was a rental. Still have my rings though."

"You do?"  
"Do you?"

"Yeah… I put it in a safety deposit box with the important papers."

"Good to know… in case I ever fall on hard times and need some fast cash."

She hit me in the arm.

"So... are your wedding planning duties done?"

"Well, Angela got the message I sent earlier and she sent a local planner to assist so I'd say pretty much. I've passed my earpiece on to her."

"Good."

* * *

The night progressed and romance was in the air. The couples had coupled up and the singles had coupled up too. Ms. Hale and Mr. Mc Carty were even doing some flirting. Across the room Bella stood there monitoring and watching everyone. I decided to take charge. I walked over and extended my arm.

"A dance? It's the least you could do after taking advantage of me the other night."

"I didn't take advantage of you and… sure."

I pulled her and she spun into me. We danced to the song. "Chills" was the name of it I believe.

"So… what's with everybody pairing off?"

"I know right… they make a girl ashamed to be single at a wedding."

"Well… I have a proposition."

"What?"

"I should be your date for the rest of the night."

"Well I don't know. What are the benefits of this venture?"

"You don't have to dance alone… if you get too tipsy to walk in your heels I can carry you and it saves you from being hit on by Emmett's weird cousin Steve with the bad hair plugs."

"Well… I guess you being my date for the night wouldn't be so bad. Just don't get your hopes up for anything more."

"Maam yes maam."

For the moment we danced. It was nice and simple and easy. Nessie even cut in for a few songs with us both. It was a nice night and in the end the stars and moon made an appearance. Rosalie and Emmett left for their second honeymoon in a limo and the do was officially over. Tomorrow night we leave Napa and its back to real life but that doesn't look so grim anymore because I know there's hope.


	27. I promise I haven't forgotten ya'll!

Hey guys! I know I haven't added in a while and I'm so sorry! I just wanted to let you know I haven't forgotten about these stories. I've just been really busy but I promise as soon as I get time (probably the weekend at the latest) I'm going to add!


	28. The End

**_I know it's been like a year since I last added and I'm very sorry but I've been busy and I've had a bit of writer's block but now I bring to you the last chapter of the story. I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks for reading and being patient._**

** 10 Years Later**

**Edward**

I don't like him. I already don't like him. His haircut is stupid, his shirt is stupid and he's got a tattoo.

"Dad… this is Nahuel."

"Noel?"

"No sir, 'Nah-well'… It's really nice to meet you."

"Mmhmmm. Come on in."

This was a bad idea… Bella letting Nessie bring a date to the wedding. Now I'm going to have to look at him on the third happiest day of my life. I bet my socks he gets into the liquor. Bella came out of the kitchen tucking her cell in her pocket. Age has only made her more beautiful… as for me, I've gotten wiser. At least I'd like to think so. I'm wise enough at least, to know that a second chance with a woman as great as her doesn't come around but once a blue moon. Lucky for me I took the chance and we dated for four years, and we've been engaged for three. I'm just happy to get another shot.

"Nahuel… how are you?"

"I'm fine Ms. Swan."

"Cullen." I said.

"Not yet I'm not… you just better hope I don't get cold feet."

"Well…may your feet be toasty and covered in Velcro."

"and may you conduct yourself with some order this time around you nutcase" said Bella, knocking on my head lightly.

Lunch with Nahuel was awkward, plain and simple. Bella's apparently met the guy before but I haven't. I still don't like him, not even now that I know he's going to the same college Nessie is going to this fall with a full ride. I don't care because he's dating my daughter. Though, I suppose she could always do much, much worse.

They left for a date and it was just me and Bella… Alone at last.

**Bella**

I looked in the mirror pushing up my brows and making faces that would scare small children. The wedding is only four days away and I'm not feeling like such a blushing bride anymore. I'm thinking of having a little work done but needles aren't my thing. While I stood there manipulating my face like it was dough Edwards arms wrapped around me.

"Are you trying to take off your mask?"

"No but don't you think you should put yours on?" I asked with a chuckle.

He kissed my neck and the laughter subsided. His hands embraced my hips and he nuzzled my cheek with his nose. The sex has gotten better with time.

When Edward and I started dating again it was like I was getting a completely new person. Of course, by then he'd dated someone else and I finally felt like I was ready to date again after Garrett. We'd changed and so we had to get to know each other again. It was fun, it was painful and it brought us closer. It wasn't as intense as the first time. Of course, our love is solid but everything isn't so solemn. After all these years I think we've finally figured out a way to make love fun for us.

I turned around to face him. There was a small smile spread across his face. I ran my finger across his lips and he kissed it before taking my hand in his and placing it to his mouth. He made a trail of kisses from the palm of my hand to my shoulder, neck and then my cheek and lips again.

I told myself that I wasn't going to have sex a few weeks before the wedding. Sort of like… keeping things new and fresh for the honeymoon, but now I can see that won't happen. It's been a week since we last made love and to tell the truth, I've been counting the minutes.

He slid down my jeans and we tossed them to the side then he dropped his pants and kicked them off. We made it to the bed, crashing into it like whales flopping into the ocean. His hands moved all over me, taking off more articles of clothing while his lips explored my skin bringing pleasant sensations to every inch they met.

Edward entered me smoothly. Our bodies fell in rhythm, moving each other close to the awesome finish line. It was in the horizon and with every pleasurable thrust, every kiss and lick of the lips and every moan and grunt we got closer until finally I sighed out in pleasure, crossing that line and claiming my prize of euphoria. Edward followed my lead and came shortly after. We lay on the bed sweaty and waiting for the drowsiness of orgasm to dissipate so that the burst of energy would kick in.

After a few minutes I got up, cleaned myself up and got redressed. I put my hair in a bun and put on some perfume and lipstick. I'm meeting Rose and Alice for drinks.

Edward lay in the bed looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

"Can I interest you in a second round?"

"Save it for the honeymoon! Besides, I have to meet the girls."

"The girls… they can wait."

"Yes… but they won't. So uh, keep it in your pants, why don't ya?"

"I'm not wearing any."

"So… I'll see you later. Should I bring something home for dinner?"

"Um… no… I'll cook. Nessie should be home by then so she can help me."

"Edward are you sure about this?"

"Yeah. I'll make spaghetti or something like that. Maybe I'll grill out."

"Only if you're sure."

"Hey Bella, I love you."

"I love you too."

I made my way to the spot where I usually meet Rosalie and Alice. They were sitting at our usual table eating desserts. It's amazing how over ten years some things stay the same.

"Well, look who's decided to be late as usual" said Alice.

"Sorry! Edward and I had to talk about some stuff."

"Yeah, talking with the lips between your legs." Said Rosalie.

"We'll let you slide this last time" said Alice.

"How are my niece and nephew?"

"When I left they were fighting. Jasper was trying to break them up."

"Rose, how's my god son?"

"Doing well, he was fighting at school."

"Did he win?" asked Alice.

"What's with you and Emmett wondering if he won? That's not the point! He was still fighting."

"What? We just wanna know." Said Alice.

"He says he did and he wasn't bruised up so I believe him."

"Kids." I said.

"Speaking of which… how'd it go with Edward meeting Nessie's beau?"

"Better than expected. He's trying to find reasons to hate him but there aren't any."

"Well at least they'll be going to the same college. She might not get into all that wild, drunken frat- party sex" said Alice.

"Alice! I don't want to think about that!"

"What? You know it was the best kind. I could never remember what happened but I always woke up with sprinkles in my bra, maple syrup in my panties and Jasper covered in baby powder. That's how we started dating… after having drunken sex so many times we decided to just go for it."

"Way to go Alice!" said Rose.

Drinks went well. It's always good to talk to my girls. After the conversations about sex, marriage and motherhood ceased the talk about the wedding came up.

"So… ready for the big day? Third time's a charm." Said Rosalie.

"Yes I'm ready… Hopefully this time nobody cheats and nobody gets stabbed and thrown down the stairs by psychopathic fatal attractions."

"It'll be fine this time around. Edward's learned his lesson… I feel it. Plus dad's going to have a talk with him tomorrow when he flies in."

"So… what have you bought for the honeymoon?" asked Rosalie.

"Rose! That's private! I can't tell you that!"

"Well... when we have your bachelorette party tomorrow night I know what I'm giving you. Here… I'll tell you. It's this little red crotch-less number with nipple holes."

"It'll go perfect with the handcuffs and leather paddle I bought her!"

"How do you two suspect I'll get through the airport with all that?"

"Well… that's Emmett's gift to you guys actually… He's letting you two use his dad's private jet!"

"Rose…thanks!"

"No problem."  
"I think I might finally be happy again… At least I hope so. I've been thinking about Garrett a lot, you know, the closer the wedding day gets."

"I think about him every day. How he never got to see his nephew. He would have been a great uncle."

"He would have been a great dad." I said.

"You guys please don't cry" said Alice. "Because if you do, then I'll cry!"

"We're not going to cry. Just remembering him fondly. He helped complete my healing process and he loved me and Nessie… he was sweet. I'll never forget that."

In all honesty that's been the most difficult part of my journey. It hasn't been forgiving Edward or getting to know him again, it's been trying to cope with Garrett's death. I won't say that sometimes I don't still get sad, because I do, but I can say that I've learned to appreciate his time with me rather than think about the time we lost.

**Edward**

"Dad I think we were supposed to put oil or something in the pot."

"What? Why?"

"So the noodles won't stick to the bottom like now. They're burning up!"

"There's nothing wrong with scorched noodles. This is a perfectly good pot of spaghetti."

"I'm calling mom to have her bring something home."

"Yeah… that's probably a good idea."

So cooking didn't turn out as great as I'd hoped and neither has my plan to have a serious discussion with Nessie about Nahuel.

"Mom's bringing home Italian."

"Phew…that was a close one."

"So dad… what do you think of Nahuel? Really?"

"Well…he's um…I can't find anything bad about him just from his background check but in a few weeks I think the private investigator will have some interesting news for me."

"So you like him, then?"

"Nessie it doesn't matter if I like him. I think he's a suitable young man for you. He seems to be going places."

"Well great."

"While we're discussing Nahuel… I think we should have a talk."

"Uh-oh."

"No… not uh-oh. You're not in trouble I just want to give you some advice Father to daughter. Alright?"

"Okay."

"Make him treat you right. Don't put up with any shit. If he ever hits you don't hesitate to call the police just because you love him. If he says mean things to you don't hesitate to dump him and if he ever breaks your heart call me and I'll pay a hit man to have him bumped off."

"Dad… we're not getting married or anything, we're just dating."

"I know but you'll be leaving soon and your mother and I won't be able to police your relationships. You're going to be on your own and you're going to get hurt but maybe this will help you decide what to do. This applies to Nahuel or whoever else comes along. Just…take care kiddo."

"Dad stop being weird and mushy! Come on now…"

Getting old is funny. One day you're young and you have everything ahead of you. The next thing you know you're pushing fifty and there's a shit ton of everything behind you. Life just goes on and on and you never even realize that you're using it up until you take your last breath. I think about all the time I wasted chasing shallow happiness. How much pain it cost me and how much precious time I ate up. Yes… my regrets are many but I got a second chance. Not every fuck up is so lucky.

The keys jingled in the door and Bella's voice rang throughout the house.

"I had a feeling I'd end up bringing takeout home for dinner" she said.

"Hey… Nessie and I were making spaghetti but we ran out of ingredients."

"Sure you did."

We sat down and ate at the table as a family. In a couple months this will change… it'll be only me and Bella. It won't be a tragedy but an adjustment considering the fact that it's been nearly two decades since we had an empty nest.

* * *

**Bella**

I slipped on my third wedding gown. Hopefully this one is the last I'll ever wear. I'm now a seasoned woman so I've put cupcake dresses away. This time I opted for a simple, champagne colored high low dress with a sweetheart neckline. My hair is in a bun with diamonds around it and my makeup is light.

"Auntie Bella you look pretty."

"Thank you Esme. So do you. Got your flowers ready?"

"Uh huh."

"Your brother didn't lose the rings did he?"

"Are you kidding? He's been looking forward to this for months! He guarded them with his life."

"And EJ is greeting properly?"

"Yeah… no jokes or anything but only because Emmett is threatening him from the front of the church."

"Well then Esme, it seems things are right on track."

"You know…my mama's gonna be mad you did your makeup and got dressed and she wasn't here to see it."

"Oh she'll be fine."

Esme did bring up an important point. Alice would be pissed that I did my makeup while she rushed out to get me something blue. Rosalie wasn't here to see it either because she was meeting Harold with me and Edward's luggage. It's strange that Harold still works for Mr. McCarthy but I guess if he likes his job then it's not all that strange. Angela is bossing people around… we planned the wedding together and she's agreed to handle it today and train a new planner in the process.

"Mom! You look hot! Alice is going to be so mad you got ready without her."

"She's gotten to get me ready two other times. I just don't want a fuss this time. Easy peasy."

"Well… dad is out there waiting. He's sweating a lot and trying to keep Jasper awake because he's still drunk from the bachelor party."

"Well…some things never change."

* * *

"Well…you look gorgeous but I can't believe you'd betray your own sister this way."

"Alice… I just wanted to have it done with. You can make me up for our anniversary party."

"I'll hold you to that. Are you ready… again?"

"Yeah… there's still time to take the limo and make a break for it" said Rosalie.

"No… I'm ready. I'm happy. I want to do this. I just wish my dad was here to give me away."

"Well my dad's giving you away, if that helps" said Alice.

"I know. Carlisle is an awesome father in law."

We made chit chat until the planner in training came and told us it was time to go out. One by one the bridesmaids walked down the aisle in their flowing yellow dresses. People looked and whispered and smiled and flashed cameras. After that Esme walked down the aisle placing sunflower petals on the runner with every step. She gave a big snaggle toothed grinned for the cameras as she walked down the aisle with Jaspers's cool collection and Alice's glamour. Then Nessie walked and she was escorted by Nahuel. Then it was my turn. The last joyful seconds of Canon D played while Carlisle and I walked closer to the front where Edward was standing, his eyes locked with mine and clouded with tears. He better not cry because if he does then I will too.

I made it to the front as the last violin squealed out the last note of the song. Everybody sat down.

"Who gives this woman to marry this man?"

"We do" said Nessie, Alice, Rose, Carlisle, Angela and Ms. Hale.

"That's a mighty big crowd… looks like you kids are getting married today."

The minister talked about love and sacrifice and forgiveness and pain. Those are definitely things all up our alley and then after that it was time for us to say our vows.

"Edward… standing here all those years ago I never thought I'd be standing here again. But life is crazy and cruel and wonderful and here we are starting over from scratch like when we were kids. On today I want to let you know that no matter how sad or angry or depressed I get I'll still love you and no matter how fat, wrinkly or gray headed I get I know you'll still love me."

"Bella, life is limited. You get so much time and then you're done. One of my biggest regrets was wasting the time I had with you. Today I'm so happy you've chosen to give me a second chance and that you'd still be willing to be mine until death. I can truly say that I love and appreciate you more than any man can love and appreciate a woman. I promise to cherish you and to devote myself to you. No matter how closed in I get, how pessimistic I can be or how crazy I can be… just know that I love and I know you'll love me even with my beer belly, my chainsaw snoring and my need to 'do it myself'."

"Well… by the powers vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride…again!"

Edward wrapped his arms around me and we kissed, losing ourselves in the moment. We'd forgotten that our family and friends were there watching.

"Come on! Save some for the honeymoon! You're gonna need it!" shouted Emmett.

The kiss broke and the first thing I saw was Rosalie smacking Emmett in the back of the head. This day is perfect.

* * *

There was the kiss and the cake and the food and booze and dancing… now the time to leave for the honeymoon was upon us. Alice, Rosalie and Nessie helped me get changed. I got out of the gown and into a simple cream colored, sleeveless dress with a tiny black belt and black pumps. That was Alice's doing. If it'd been up to me I'd be wearing jeans.

"Well… thank you all for helping me. Thanks for listening to me….thanks."

"Oh Bella… don't mention it. We're sisters, it's my job."

"Yup… we're sisters too and it's my duty as well" said Rosalie. "You just don't know how wonderful life has been with you in it. If not for you… I'd still be telling people I'd murdered Emmett."

"Yeah and if not for you Jasper and I would probably be divorced alcoholics."

"Bella be happy this time. We love you and we can't wait until you get back."

"Thanks ladies. As for you Nessie…I'll be gone for a week. I love you honey. Take care of yourself and don't stay out too late with Nahuel…mind your Uncle Jasper's rules….  
"What about my rules?" asked Alice.

"You don't have any" I said. "Just be well Nessie… daddy and I love you."

"I love you too mom. I love you both. I'm happy we're a normal family again."

I hugged my child. This person who once only reached my waist. This person was now taller than me. She was a woman with her father's bronze tresses, me and my father's brown eyes, my slender build and her father's easy overreaction. It's amazing the way a moment like this can make you realize just how much life you've lived.

I bid my family and the rest of the wedding party goodbye. Edward grabbed my hand and kissed it and we slipped into the back of the limo. The ride to the plane with quiet but not tense. We just sat there, wrapped in each other listening to the wind blow by the car as we started our life together again.

**I know I took a long time to post this and I'm truly sorry! I hope you all have enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!**


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